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Hottie Report Card: Zooey Deschanel

So where does the quirkiest of the quirksters,  Zooey Deschanel , rank on a grand scale of our most celebrated hotties? Don't panic. We're gonna use our traditional techniques (ogling and drooling) to find out. Many had been wondering what exactly the legendary Bill Murray had in store that was so much more important than a third GHOSTBUSTERS flick, and...
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10.23.2015
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Hottie Report Card: Juno Temple

We're in our last week of September, and I'll be damned if there aren't actually some fairly decent movies rounding out the month. Seems unlikely, as this time of year would typically be considered the "elephant graveyard" of cinema, where high-profile projects should never, ever dare to go. Thankfully, that's not the case this time around, even if we can...
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09.25.2015
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Hottie Report Card: Kate Bosworth

Alrighty, kiddos! It's time to get out your pencil sharpeners, safety scissors, FROZEN-themed portfolio folders and whatever other tools you may need to determine Kate Bosworth 's precise temperature of hotness. Now, it's quite possible some of you have nearly forgotten about this hottie, but it's even more possible some of you are still angry about her turn...
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09.11.2015
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Hottie Report Card: Kate Beckinsale

The general response to last week's  report on vampire bait Kristen Stewart was a bit surprising, even enlightening. Not only did most of you schmoes happily accept her into the class, but some even started turning their pitchforks towards ol' Professor Crumb for being too harsh on the gal. Perhaps he was, so to counterbalance his shame and guilt, let's stroke his...
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08.28.2015
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Hottie Report Card: Ashley Benson

Despite most movie fans' qualms when it comes to anything with the name 'Sandler' attached , PIXELS  has finally been released at a theater near you. Will it be worth your precious time to endure Happy Madison's brand of humor, so long as you get to see Pac-Man chomping down the city in a few sequences? Only time will tell, but much like his previous...
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07.24.2015
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Hottie Report Card: Bryce Dallas Howard

Last week we roused ourselves by putting  Ronda Rousey to the test, and it seemed the majority of schmoes wouldn't argue against letting a strong woman like her pin them down. As for this week, I can't help but throw even more Bryce Dallas Howard in your face, as she'll be the main attraction when we enter the gates of JURASSIC WORLD this...
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06.12.2015
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Hottie Report Card: Jessica Alba

Can you believe we're nearing up to our 100th Hottie Report Card, and we still have yet to observe the student body of  Jessica Alba ? Okay, class, settle down. I know some schmoes out there claim to have grown tired of this hottie over the years, which if you ask me, is complete and utter claptrap! Rubbish! Balderdash, I say! Despite her disappearance from the scene...
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05.29.2015
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Hottie Report Card: Brittany Snow

Alright, kiddos, silence your cellphones and put out your e-cigs! Once again, it's time for us to speculate a gorgeous actress, or "student body", and try to decipher where they might stand on a grand scale of movie hotties. Coincidentally, you can spot this week's pick possibly singing her lungs out in   PITCH PERFECT 2 , a movie set in the world of...
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05.15.2015
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Hottie Report Card: Jordana Brewster

It's no secret that car movie fans are revving up their engines for FURIOUS 7 , which is out in theaters today. Of course, there are literally dozens of babes from the FAST & FURIOUS series who meet the qualifications for a Hottie Report Card. Within the first six movies alone, you've got Michelle Rodriguez, Gal Gadot, Eva Mendes, Gina Carano, Nathalie Kelley,...
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04.03.2015
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Hottie Report Card: Jennifer Lopez

As first, I was hesitant to dedicate one of these columns to Jennifer Lopez , someone who's been a member of the hottie universe for nearly two decades. Due to her many years of fame, she has a reputation which attracts massive amounts of both love and hate, and I didn't want to throw gasoline on that fire. Naturally, Jennifer sprang to mind when I saw that her...
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01.23.2015
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Hottie Report Card: Allison Williams

Did you catch PETER PAN LIVE! last night? It was a fun way to kill an evening with the family, or at least it made a valid excuse to watch Christopher Walken wear make-up and dance. Oh yeah, and Allison Williams did a decent job playing Petere as well. So it might seem a bit strange to jump into ranking the hotness of the GIRLS star, especially after she just portrayed a young boy...
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12.05.2014
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Hottie Report Card: Keira Knightley

Hope you're all enjoying your Thanksgiving turkey hangovers, those of you weren't stuck working at Sports Authority all night long, anyway. As an attempt to get our minds off the fact that we're now more gravy than human, let's shift our focus to  Keira Knightley ! She may not look exactly how you feel at this moment, but she can be seen in this weekend's release of  THE IMITATION...
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11.28.2014
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