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There's gonna be a cleanup in every aisle thanks to Gwyneth Paltrow's sexy

10.12.2016by: Cherry Liquor
I could make a joke about how I could totally see Gwyneth Paltrow going shopping in a bathing suit and heels but honestly, we all know it wouldn't be the typical grocery store that you and I might visit. Nah, Paltrow's more of a Whole Foods for the Rich & Gluten-Free crowd, where she might pass by Demi Moore looking over the raw foods rather than slinging name brand cereal that the plebeians who pay money to watch her movies while chowing down on said cereal in their underwear with the nearly shot elastic in the dark of their mom's spare room. I love that she tries to act as if she's a normal lady just like any other but she's the daughter of celebrities and one fo the former girlfriends of Brad Pitt, so please, Goop, please just show off your inhumanly fit 44-year old abs while picking up organic artisanal snacks for Apple & Moses so they have something to snack on while chilling in the green room at Coldplay's latest concert, sharing juice boxes with Blue Ivy.

You look awesome, Goop. Being jealous is what the rest of us in the aisles do best.

Source: Harper's Bazaar


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