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TGIFs: Top 8 Mile-High Hotties (Exclusive)

02.28.2014by: Salacious Crumb

There's probably a large chunk of people who are looking forward to watching Liam Neeson bitch slap some motherf*ckers in NON-STOP this weekend. The majority of the movie takes place on an airplane, so naturally, we're dedicating this TGIFs to "Mile-High Hotties", or otherwise, hotties in planes/helicopters/aircrafts in general. Please, keep in mind, this isn necessarily a list of "hottest stewardesses" or "best airline hotties". These are simply the best gif-worthy moments involving air flight. Please make sure your seat is in the full upright position, and enjoy!

#8: Random Vintage Hotties (BLAME IT ON RIO)

Supposedly, this is some old stock footage of a group of girls doing synchronized dancing on a flying aircraft. You can check out the rest here; it's not a bad way to kill a half a minute. It may be vintage footage, but I specifically remembered it from the movie BLAME IT ON RIO (1984), where Sir Michael Caine is being sought after by his best friend's daughter. Oh, Mr. Bond.

#7: Kat Dennings ("Two Broke Girls")

This one barely made it on the list, but when I saw the way Kat Dennings handled her carry-on bags in this episode of "2 Broke Girls", I couldn't help but turn it into a gif. In this episode, Max and her friend, Elle Woods, hang out on a private jet trying to get pictures with an unconscious 2 Chainz. You see, he's a rapper who wears two golden chains around his neck. Genius.

#6: Christina Ricci (SPEED RACER)

I easily could have grabbed a gif from Christina Ricci's failed flight attendant series "Pan Am", but I'd much rather see Trixie gyrating her sexy legs in her Toys 'R' Us helicopter from SPEED RACER. She may make it look easy to operate a chopper, but she's working those black stiletto pointed boots like no other.

#5: Karen Gillan ("The Kevin Bishop Show")

Before Karen Gillan had her head shaved for GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, and even before she was flying around on the TARDIS, she was the only funny thing about "The Kevin Bishop Show" on British television. This gif is taken from a sketch about a sexually hospitable airline, which is supposed to be a joke, but I'm pretty sure those exist somewhere. Either way, it wouldn't hurt to have a ginger cutie like Karen on board, making gestures like this.

#4: Kitten Navidad (AIRPLANE II: THE SEQUEL)

Speaking of ladies it'd be nice to sit next to on a flight, here's Russ Meyer's ex-wife Kitten Navidad picking up some turbulence in AIRPLANE II: THE SEQUEL. She was used for a similar joke in the original AIRPLANE, but I feel this moment deserves some attention. Surely, she could be used as a floatation device in case of an emergency, right? Of course she could, and don't call me Shirley.

#3: Judy Landers (STEWARDESS SCHOOL)

Here's another name you probably won't recognize, unless you've seen as many raunchy '80's comedies as I have: Judy Landers. She makes up half of the terrible pop-duo The Landers Sisters, but she proves to be much more talented in these gifs from STEWARDESS SCHOOL. Is it still politically incorrect to say "stewardess" instead of "flight attendant"? Did "stewardess" somehow become a term of slander and discrimination? What gives?

#2: Sofia Vergara (SOUL PLANE)

I'm not sure how I was once able to endure the crapterpiece that is SOUL PLANE, but I imagine Sofia Vergara had a hand in it. There was a time when Sofia and Kevin Hart were the "unknowns" in a movie starring Snoop Dogg and Method Man, and that time was 2003. Whatever you do, just stay as far away from this flick as possible. The best parts can be summed up in this gif.

#1: Kate Upton

After Sports Illustrated sent a bikini'd Kate Upton to the South Pole last year, there was only one way to top it: Kate Upton in space... sort of. As you've probably seen more than a dozen times, our lovely Kate was taken into zero-gravity for this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. It's nice to know the folks over at NASA are putting their multi-billion dollar equiptment to good use.

Extra Tidbit: Where's my peanuts and headset?


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