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Sexy TwitPics: Anastasiya Kvitko

03.07.2017by: No Cool Handle

Ebe​H​a ​M​a​T​b! (Holy Shit!) Which is an accurate way to describe how most will respond to the sight of today's social media fixation, Russian doll – if dolls were shaped to male fantasy specifications – Anastasiya Kvitko. A woman so shapely, so extremely rounded out, you would think she was drawn by a hentai porn artist. In Kvitko, we find a model whose ass practically extends out into a different time zome; an ass balanced out by an equally far protruding rack. If most women can repurpose their bra to house a smart phone, Mrs.Kvitko can carry a laptop in hers. Being able to tote a computer so easily is of use to a hottie like Anastasiya, for the amount of selfies this girl takes far exceeds the storage limitations of a mere phone. Time spent scouring her social media accounts yielded over 60 images for you to peruse, and yet, hundreds, if not thousands, still remain. It was like picking single snowflakes out on avalanche.

As with any social media hottie in possession of a large ass and who's not American, their name is usually proceeded with something like: England's response to Kim Kardashian; the Colombian Kim Kardashian; and in Kvitko's case, Russia's answer to Kim Kardashian. Yes, we're no longer in an arms race with the former Soviet Union, apparently, we're in an ass race. Both countries – unbeknownst to the multitudes – are committed to seeing a dangerous game of booty brinkmanship all the way through to its bitter conclusion. And our beloved United States just took a hard hit from mother Russia, with the commies delivering unto the world an ass that not only bests any one of the Kardashians, but is easily in the running for "best big booty" worldwide. You'd be hard-pressed to find a woman whose body is better spec'd out to suit anyone's idea of what a voluptuous woman should look like – better than if it was rendered in a computer, even.

#EnoughWithTheAss! I know, I've been speaking at length about her ass; but what else is there to talk about? The woman's sole function in life appears to be drawing people's attention to her Russian round cakes. #PeasInAPod! It's in this regard she's most like Kim Kardashian, being [that] those exaggerated measurements (38-25-42) are her only inroad to fame. Without them, she'd be lost in a sea of other random social media babes. #WordofMouth! She likes to differentiate herself by claiming her figure is completely natural, her innumerable images never doctored with Photoshop. She said this in an interview for The Sun: "My body is a result of hard work at the gym.” Yeah, and shady Russian geneticists dabbling in forbidden, body-altering science. #SnukeUpHerSnizz! After gathering over 5.6m followers on Instagram and 118k on Twitter, Anastasiya Kvitko has moved to the US (Florida, apparently) in an effort to take her modeling career to the next level. We can only hope her incursion across our borders wasn't a nefarious plan by the Ruskies to sneak a nuke into America using the considerable space between her cheeks. Talk about a dirty bomb.

Source: TwitterInstagram

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