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Marry/Date/Friend: Gigi Hadid vs Emily Ratajkowski vs Charlotte McKinney

10.05.2016by: Cherry Liquor

I figured I had a fairly solid selection of top notch A-list babes last week and it seemed as if you were all in agreement that Jessica Alba was definitely more friend material than anything, with her uptight personality dampening the feelings you had about her hotness being in your life on either a temporary or permanent basis. What surprised me is that I figured more of you would side with me regarding Kate Beckinsale being marriage material, but I suppose only some of us prefer our hot partner to be at home with us instead of raking in the accolades and fat paychecks. Scarlett Johansson's busy work schedule didn't scare you off, with the majority opting to put a ring on Black Widow and only date Selene.

With a large number of hotties located in France this weekend for the annual Paris Fashion Week, I thought it was as good a time as any to turn our attentions toward those who get paid to look good, aka 3 of the top models right now. (Although not the runway ones, lest anyone try to gripe about Lia Pavlova, the most used model for PFW this year, not being in here.)

Marry: Your forever gal, for better or worse.

Date: Your temporary gal, to have fun with but eventually walk away from.

Friend: Your best buddy gal, with whom you have all the laughs but none of the "benefits."

Charlotte McKinney


That Body - Yes, those giant boobs make a very compelling argument in Charlotte's favor. I understand and recognize that there are some of you who prefer cute little athletic boobs over the big guns, but have you ever hugged an old lady with big knockers? Those are the most awesomely awkward grandma hugs in the world.

Sense of Humour - While I wouldn't describe Charlotte as the next big thing in acting, she seems to have a solid idea of what people are expecting out of her and uses it to her advantage when cast in comedy roles. That sense of self awareness makes for a generally pretty funny person.

Up-and-Coming - Steven Dorff had the right idea. No longer even a contender for the big leagues he might have courted in the past, he seized the opportunity to get together with a model far younger and hotter than him while she was still making her mark. McKinney still has a way to go, so locking it in now and being loyal to her career would pay off for you in the long run.


That Trout Pout - I've heard people refer to Charlotte as a butterface, which is definitely taking it too far. But girl needs to chill on those pushed out lips and concentrate on smiling more.

Young - At 23 years old, she's not as young as some, but there's an air of immaturity still lingering around her persona. What might be cute to observe while stalking her social media might not be as fun if you were in her inner circle.

Those boobs - Yeah, they're both a pro and a con, mainly because everyone would be staring at her whenever you went out. The self confidence needed to be with a bodaciously built woman can be a weary thing.


 Honestly, out of all the women featured in this article, Charlotte is the easy choice for a wife. She drinks, eats burgers, loves to be outdoors with small groups of close friends, has a solid sense of humour and a long list of career opportunities ahead of her, which she diligently attends to without ever coming off as overworked or stressed out. Handling a few gaping maws of those who want to eye-f*ck her is manageable if you get to take her home every night.

Emily Ratajkowski


That Body - While yes, Emily also has some impressive knockers, she's also in possession of a firm butt, long legs, and a tiny waist that would be easy to wrap your arm around in which to pull her tight.

Financial Stability - While she doesn't have as much as Gigi, Emily has more than Charlotte and she keeps working on higher profile roles, so the possibility for growth is definitely there. Plus, she clearly doesn't eat a lot, so it's not as if she's going to be wasting money on stupid shit like food.

Up-and-Coming - She's only semi-mastered modeling and is just beginning to dip her toe into acting but with Instagram and SnapChat and whatever else social media that gets invented showing off her hotness on the daily, there are plenty of opportunities for EmRat to keep upping her game.


Star Powered Friendships - Most of the time I'm going to list this as a pro but let's consider that one of Emily's closer buddies, who she has posed nude with for Instagram is Kim Kardashian and then ask yourself if you really want to be within the blast radius of that nonsense.

Vapid - Look up the definition of the term and you'll understand that I'm not calling her stupid. I just don't know how much EmRat is going to contribute to a relationship outside of the bedroom. That might not bother some, but for others it would be a deal breaker.

Everyone's Spank Bank - Unlike McKinney or Hadid, Ratajkowski has frequently posed in the nude, both for fun and for pay and those images are available to anyone with the ability to google. Basically, it's really hard to be comfortable in a relationship with someone not only hotter than you but desired by the public at large.


So long as I never had to be in the same zip code as Kimye, I think I could manage a short stint with this lady. Lots of bedroom, a few shopping sprees on her dime, some inside jokes on Robin Thicke's behalf... sounds like a great short relationship.

Gigi Hadid


That Body, That Face - Gigi has a gorgeous face and a killer body, all of which are fairly commonplace in the modeling industry, but she does have a freshness that few in recent years have possessed.

Financial Stability - With a $4 million net worth that is constantly growing thanks to big companies getting into bed with her, I can easily see Gigi becoming the next Gisele when it comes to her bank account.

No Bullshit/Tough - Being in the public eye isn't easy. Getting picked up by that French douchebag and then showing off her boxing skills by fighting back and elbowing the dude in the face rather than screaming like a little girl is pretty damn attractive.


Family Ties - To a much, much, much, much lesser degree, Gigi's mom has a bit of the Kris Jenner crap in her, being a former model and trophy wife who seemingly has pushed her daughters into the modeling world, even though she should have known better what would be in store for them.

Immature - At only 21, she still has a lot of room to grow when it comes to fully fleshing out her personality as an adult. The fact that she's a high school graduate who went straight into the industry where intelligence isn't exactly a top commodity doesn't help either.

Boy Bander Crap - Gigi's current boyfriend is or was or whatever in a boy band and the underage girls of the world seem to really want to hate on her for that. I can't imagine having to deal with that level of animosity from a crowd of DGAFers willing to do anything because they have zero sense of consequences.


While I could easily switch Gigi and Emily in their designations here, I find Gigi a lot more interesting than Emily, with the long term potential to be that cool girl you have as a friend who treats you to trips abroad and expensive bar tabs. Plus, knowing her would mean that you'd get to hang around Bella, and that's a whole other column of decisions right there.

Now, let's hear your choices!


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