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Marry/Date/Friend: Emma Stone vs Jennifer Lawrence vs Margot Robbie

08.10.2016by: Cherry Liquor

When stuck in a social situation where interaction requires more of me than staring at my mobile device, scrolling through my accounts and sharing witty observations about life or photographs of the food I'm about to consume, I often resort to playing the more sexist, violent version of this game. I can't be the only degenerate who has ticked off three different individuals, daring others to discern who is lovable, desirable or disposable, right? In an attempt to be more savvy in this increasingly PC world while factoring in that there are very few female celebrities on this site who have hugely unfavorable traits, I found that this version of the game is actually much harder.

For our inaugural feature, let's sit down and determine which of these highly attractive, wildly appealing women fall into which of the following categories:

Marry: Your forever gal, for better or worse.

Date: Your temporary gal, to have fun with but eventually walk away from.

Friend: Your best buddy gal, with whom you have all the laughs but none of the "benefits."

And away we go...!

Emma Stone

Pros:

Financial stability - Emma took home nearly $18 million in 2015, owns a $3 million home in California, and recently sold her previous New York residence for over $22 million.

Kind & Generous - Emma devotes her time to multiple charities, including Stand Up to Cancer and Revlon's Run/Walk, which raise money for cancer research & prevention.

Independent - Makes her own money, handles her own business, doesn't fawn over her dudes on social media sites.

Cons:

Workaholic - When not booking back-to-back movie projects, Emma takes on roles in stage productions and other various cameos.

Fitness - While we've all been applauding Emma's sublime usage of leggings lately, she tends to run on the underweight side and bones don't make for pleasant bed fellows.

Independent - See above. If you're a control freak or wacky romantic, she's not for you.

OUR CHOICE: MARRY

 Once she gets a few years older, Emma is more likely to settle into motherhood, gain just the right amount of softness in all the good places, be able to hold a conversation with you regardless of how long you've been together and still make money because her value as an actress is in her quality, not her fleeting exterior.

Jennifer Lawrence

Pros:

Financial stability - JLaw has an estimated $60 million net worth, from her frequent work in highly polished blockbuster films like THE HUNGER GAMES series and THE X-MEN franchise.

Fitness - Jen has consistently had one of the lushest young bodies in Hollywood, channeling a young Helen Mirren. Sense of Humor - Weird and wacky, that's our girl. From flipping off reporters after winning an Oscar to skipping down the road with Aziz Ansari on her back, she's fun & full of surprises.

Frisky - Will send you nudes when you're apart.

Cons:

Technologically inept - After the Fappening hack a couple of years ago, those great nudes you got will become everyone's favorite spank bank material.

Questionable Bosom Buddies - As great as Amy Schumer might seem in theory, imagine if she was your girl's best bud, and everything that you'd have to deal with as a result of that.

Workaholic - Can't make the big money if you don't put in the long hours.

OUR CHOICE: DATE

While Jen might seem like the best friend you'd love to know until you're old, grey and getting your bong hits assisted into you by your Jamaican nurse, she's just too fine to pass up a 6 month stretch of sweaty nights between the sheets and a lifetime of bragging about it to your friends.

Margot Robbie

Pros:

Beauty - Robbie stands as one of the most beautiful actresses Australia has produced, with her big blue eyes and wide smile.

Fitness - Depending on which role she's working on, Margot isn't afraid to enjoy her downtime and gain a few pounds, but always snaps back into shape without looking emaciated.

Sense of Humour - As one of the few females in a mainly male group of actors, Robbie stood out during the filming of THE SUICIDE SQUAD as being able to roll with the punches and deliver some scratchy tattoos for her co-stars to boot.

Great Taste - Margot lists TRUE ROMANCE as her favorite film, plays right wing on an amateur hockey team and was on the short list to play Sue Storm but reportedly turned it down in favor of working as Harley Quinn instead.

Cons:

Beauty - Robbie is so beautiful, all of your friends and the strangers on the street are going to want to f@ck her too, which will require maintaining a Herculean amount of self-confidence on your part.

Questionable Taste - Margot also loves the Oakland Raiders and the New York Rangers, so...

International - With her career just getting off the ground, Margot is going to be devoting a lot of time to travel, putting her out of your reach unless you get lucky enough to go with her.

OUR CHOICE: FRIEND

It would be hard to not want a reckless, sloppy night of drinking to turn into something more but the long-term hangover wouldn't be worth the hassle. However, Robbie is exactly the kind of beautiful person you want on your squad to get you into places and grease the right wheels, not to mention all of those famous names she could introduce you to (DiCaprio, Smith, Leto, Fey...) and that sparkling disposition that turns downtime into fun times.

Now, let's hear your choices!

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