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Marry/Date/Friend: Elizabeth Olsen vs Kat Dennings vs Rachel McAdams

01.11.2017by: Cherry Liquor

I think last week might have been the easiest for everyone. Much like myself, very few of you found any faults at all with Nina Dobrev, wanting to lock it down and put a ring on it. There were a few of you who didn't want anything to do with the other women featured, but for those who weren't repelled, it seems as if Kristen Stewart was the second choice for marriage, even if the majority did fall toward her just being a friend. Anna Paquin is friend or date material, but not exactly one you want to spend endless years with.

When I'm being completely honest with others (and myself), I have to admit that I'm not into award season movies, finding them to try too hard while simultaneously wanting to be taken too seriously. Give me a movie that tries really hard and admits it, like a solid Marvel movie adventure. They tend to have babes being babes as well, instead of ugly-ing up for gold. Here are three of my favorites, slotted out as I love them best.

Marry: Your forever gal, for better or worse.

Date: Your temporary gal, to have fun with but eventually walk away from.

Friend: Your best buddy gal, with whom you have all the laughs but none of the "benefits."

Kat Dennings

Pros:

Sarcasm Queen - She lays it on thick for 2 Broke Girls but Kat has always had that dry, acerbic side to her that I find irresistible in women. I like them smart & sassy and Kat has both.

Motorboat Heaven - It's not just a plus that Kat is seriously stacked in the breast department, it's that those boobs are so prominent and so wholly embraced by her that I want to dive right in and live in them.

Low Maintenance - She can doll up for the red carpets but you don't see a whole lot of Kat off screen, traipsing around Hollywood with multiple packages on her arm, flaunting a ridiculously perfect figure and hoping someone will be taking pictures of it. I like an actress who can manage a life off the clock.

Cons:

2 Broke 2 Tiresome - I happen to enjoy watching Kat's sitcom, although I tend to be rather high when I do. I can't imagine having to support that silliness in the long term.

Short Stature - I like women huggable and while I have absolutely no problem with extra thickness, I get the impression that trying to keep a screen-worthy level of it must be a pain in the ass for someone as short as Kat. And no one enjoys being around someone who is miserable because they can't eat what they want to.

Ummm... - I can't think of much more that's off-putting about my favorite little wry pouter.

OUR CHOICE: MARRY

 I'm predicting that I'm going to be in the minority of those who would want to be with Kat Dennings on a long term basis, but I really love this saucy wench. She's smart, interesting, funny, built like a brick house and all around the kind of woman that I aspire to be, let alone be with.

Rachel McAdams

Pros:

Gorgeous - I consider Rachel McAdams to be one of the most beautiful women in the world. Her features are flawless, her smile could warm even the most hypothermic of hearts. The idea of waking up next to that beauty every day is quite enticing.

Multi-faceted - While some people recall first seeing McAdams as the bitchy bully in MEAN GIRLS, it was her turn as the bitchy girl possessed by Rob Schneider's spirit in THE HOT CHICK that I think of. The fact that she could be that funny and beautiful at the same time was awesome. That she can do comedy & action & drama without breaking a sweat? All the more impressive (and necessary in her field).

Sweetheart - Try to find a bad tale told about Rachel. Try, I dare you. There's not one gossip mention of her being a diva or even refusing an autograph. She's the living embodiment of the stereotype that all Canadians are wonderful.

Cons:

Dating History - I'm not bothered in the slightest by the fact that Ryan Gosling would have come before me, it's the fact that she couldn't make it work with the man who's known for being the most openly romantic & loyal actors on record. I can see why it wouldn't have worked with Michael Sheen, but I have to ask - if she's so perfect, why didn't someone do everything in their power not to lose her?

Too Gorgeous? - Rachel has never shown herself to be a lady with a wandering eye, showing loyalty to her men whenever out in public with them. But would you be confident enough to be with a woman who is so good looking, the first thing people internally ask is why she's with you?

Workaholic - My guess as to why her relationships haven't worked out? Rachel does seem rather preoccupied with her career. Not a huge negative, as I would love to be a kept woman, but still.

OUR CHOICE: DATE

While I recognize and applaud all of the greatness in Rachel, I also don't know if that level of awesome beauty & talent could be kept up with in the long run. Better than myself have tried and failed, but I would love to spend some regular romantic time with her on a semi-regular basis.

Elizabeth Olsen

Pros:

Body Confidence - When some people tried to mock Olsen for not looking as thin as high expectations tend to be for women in Marvel movies, she laughed them off and didn't change a damn thing. In the world of lollipop headed actresses, I love a woman who doesn't starve herself or her talent.

Spunky - Olsen doesn't seem as preoccupied with pleasing critics or paparazzi, perhaps because she learned from the public's obsession with her older twin sisters that it just wasn't worth the hassle. She doesn't give an interview she doesn't want to give and takes wardrobe malfunctions (like the time the wind gave her a Marilyn Monroe moment at Paris Fashion Week) on the chin like a muthaf*ckin' boss.

Diverse Talent - Much like McAdams, Olsen has a great grasp of everything from comedy to drama to action. Unlike McAdams, I can see that she doesn't feel the pressure to always play it nice and chooses roles that interest her rather than just give her recognition in the spotlight.

Cons:

Romantic History - Lizzy seems to be a bit of a bed hopper, which is by no means a bad thing in and of itself, but it does signal a bit of flakiness that doesn't jive for long term lovin'.

Those Famous Siblings - I dunno, man... while there are those who still harbor affections for Mary Kate & Ashley, I've always found them to be a little creepy, like grown up Monchichi dolls that could rival Chuckie for evilness.

Up & Coming - I get the impression that Olsen could simply up and choose to quit the acting gig altogether and not give a single f*ck about the choice. But I also get the impression that she has a bit of a need to prove herself, which could be a bipolar nightmare to live with.

OUR CHOICE: FRIEND

Elizabeth seems like a down chick to me. I don't think of her as a sexy beast so much as a woman in charge of her sultriness, so I don't necessarily find myself drawn to her romantically. However, she does seem just too damn cool for school, which makes her great friend fodder.

Now, let's hear your choices!

Source: IMDB

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