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Marry/Date/Friend: Anna Paquin vs Kristen Stewart vs Nina Dobrev

12.28.2016by: Cherry Liquor

When it came to the ladies of Christmas movies, you were fans of all but dominated by the awesome ass of Elizabeth Banks, who ranked the top pick for wife material out of the three. It was an even mix of those who were partial to friending or dating Zooey Deschanel and Lauren Graham, with only one vote each for those two being your favorite choice for long term love.

I'll be honest, I'm really f*cking ready to get over 2016 and it's Murder Death Kill mentality in regards to those famous faces I grew up loving throughout my childhood. So I'm looking forward into the first releases of 2017 for this mix, and UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS reminded me of how many hotties have a thing for bloodsuckers. How many of you have things for them?

Marry: Your forever gal, for better or worse.

Date: Your temporary gal, to have fun with but eventually walk away from.

Friend: Your best buddy gal, with whom you have all the laughs but none of the "benefits."

Nina Dobrev

Pros:

Multilingual - It was cute to watch Dobrev teach a little bump & grind in Bulgarian to James Corden but this babe also speaks English, Russian and French. Which means that she's versatile and exactly who you would want on your side when translations in the oncoming apocalypse require us to communicate with the enemy.

Gymnast - Nina has been doing gymnastics since she was a small child, with aspirations to compete internationally before the acting bug took hold. All of which means she's flexible in more ways than just language and will more than likely stay fit & nimble for many years to come.

Low-key Off-Screen - When Nina broke up with her former Vampire Diaries co-star, Ian Somerhalder, it was a peaceful resolution with not a single drop of drama - that we could tell. She likes to vacation with friends without blowing shit out of proportion, so you can have fun without worrying about the media tracking your every move.

Cons:

Limited Range - I should say, she has a limited acting range, but there's always room for improvement. And now that she's no longer tethered to The CW, she might get a chance to pick up more roles... playing the same girlfriend bit. It's lucrative but boring.

Ummmmmm - It's really hard to think of negatives when it comes to Nina, mainly because of that low profile she keeps when not promoting her work.

No, Seriously, Ummmm.. - I have searched and searched for other drawbacks to being with Nina but I'm coming up with a whole lotta diddly squat.

OUR CHOICE: MARRY

 Nina Dobrev is beautiful, funny (go search any interview she's done for any talk show to simply scratch that upper layer), interesting, smart, fit and with a $6 million net worth that's sure to grow in time, I can't think of many others who are primer marriage material than her.

Anna Paquin

Pros:

Financially Stable - With a $14 million net worth that doesn't come from having to schlep around doing crappy role after crappy role, it's worth investing in a former child actress who has managed her money extremely well over the years.

Bisexual - Anna's admitted bisexuality is getting mentioned not because I believe that she'd be bringing other women into bed with you. I'm not saying she wouldn't but at the same time, it means she's more open-minded with less bullshit sexual baggage than others.

Legacy Player - When you win an Oscar at the age of the age of 11, you tend to get taken seriously for life. Well, if you win an Oscar at age 11 and don't have any parental nepotism guiding your acting career, you tend to get taken seriously for life. Anna will always have her pick of the roles and she'll excel in anything she takes on.

Cons:

Those gap teeth - I don't have a problem with Anna's chompers myself and I know some people who are actually more attracted to her because of them. However, there are plenty of people who aren't and the thought of needing to pay extensive orthodontist bills for your kids might be off-putting.

All Those Nude Scenes - Again, I'm not against them personally but I imagine that people knowing every inch of your lady's body because of the extensive nudity from her vampire show might not be all that much fun for some.

A Bit Loopy - While it was forgivable for the 11-year old Anna to stumble through her Oscar speech, many of the other interviews I've seen her in as an adult are fumbling or just plain dull, which might not make her a good match for someone who enjoys non-scripted conversation.

OUR CHOICE: DATE

Anna Paquin is a lovely lady with a great body and an awesome bank account. I can see a relationship with her working out in the bedroom, if not at the dinner table.

Kristen Stewart

Pros:

Financially Ballin' - While it isn't Taylor Swift territory, the fact that Kristen is one of the highest paid actresses in Hollywood today with a net worth pegged at about $70 million right now certainly isn't something to sneeze at.

Marijuana Enthusiast - When she was just scraping into legal adulthood, Kristen was photographed enjoying a joint while hanging on a boat wearing a bikini with marijuana leaves emblazoned on her breasts. And that is a very, very positive trait in my mind.

Dark Sense of Humour - While I know that there are a lot of people who have taken issue with some of the things that Stewart has said over the years, I think a few of the times they just didn't understand the weird joke she was trying to tell by not telling people what they wanted to hear. And she does have a good laugh at herself and her reputation, which is admirable in light of so many others in her field losing their shit if they think people misunderstand them. KStew is at the point where she has zero f*cks to give and I love that about her.

Cons:

Out of Touch with Reality - Sometimes what Kristen says I can see the joke in. Other times, I want to be on her side but am left cocking my head like a dog and asking, "Da Fuq?" When you're really, really rich, sometimes you don't get the average schmoe's life.

Sparkling Sparkly Sparkle! - The TWILIGHT movies are terrible and while I don't think that Kristen contributed to their awfulness as much as others do, imagining being with someone who is going to be associated with that mess FOR LIFE makes me feel angry and sad simultaneously.

Paparazzi Up the Ass - No matter how she dresses, Kristen is forever plagued by the paps, from filling up her gas tank and scratching her ass to red carpet premieres all over the world. Go look up any image sharing forum for any activity Kristen has been doing and you'll see the ridiculousness that people go to when they're into her. I can't get 6 decent images of some gorgeous women in full hottie gear but there are literally 100+ adds of KStew in a ball cap taking a casual stroll with her girlfriend.

OUR CHOICE: FRIEND

Even if you don't like her as an actress, you have to admit that being Kristen Stewart's buddy sounds like a plush gig. She doesn't care if you dress like shit, want to smoke, drink, dance, laugh or go 2 hours in an uncomfortable silence. She's uptight about the press but super mellow with her friends. And she's got bank, so she makes sure everyone is set. I would love to be besties with KStew.

Now, let's hear your choices!

Source: IMDB

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