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Marry/Date/Friend: Alison Brie vs Alexandra Daddario vs Anna Kendrick

09.07.2016by: Cherry Liquor

As for the celebrity women who have the most trouble having healthy, long-lasting relationships, they might want to read last week's column and notice that there are plenty of honest, good guys over here at MovieHotties who are interested in making them happy ladies. Sure, most of you expressed some kind of hesitation at getting involved with either Katy Perry, Kaley Cuoco or Taylor Swift, but it seemed fairly clear that the majority would marry Perry, date Swift and friend Cuoco, but it was a mixed bag all around, with no wildly definitive designation for each.

As for this week, I thought we'd call in some roadside assistance in the form of the Triple A that could best rescue our libidos in the form of these three knockout women.

Marry: Your forever gal, for better or worse.

Date: Your temporary gal, to have fun with but eventually walk away from.

Friend: Your best buddy gal, with whom you have all the laughs but none of the "benefits."

Anna Kendrick

Pros:

Sense of Humour - Not only does Anna Kendrick have an easy way with the comedy when she's being filmed, she's also one of the more quick witted off camera as well, with various brain fart tweets that include, "I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent."

Financial Stability - Right now, Anna's net worth sits at around $10 million, which certainly isn't in the neighborhood of Taylor, Katy or Kaley, but it's not so ridiculous that she'd have all the power over the purse strings or you.

Down to Earth - While Edgar Wright is a doll in my eyes, he's by no means a sexy beast by the traditional standard of male attractiveness. But Kendrick loved him because he was funny and talented. So there's hope for you all!

Cons:

Pint Sized - At a wee 5'2" tall and what I'm guessing is a weight of maybe 100 pounds, Anna might be an awesome pocket pet but surely will have some limitations in the durability arena. For, rock climbing, or, uh, other stuff.

Workaholic - Hollywood loves her because she's cute, funny and can swing to the dramatic side without losing credibility. Which is why they hire her. A lot. Which doesn't leave much time for you.

Pitch Imperfect - I can't imagine attending all of the reunions and sequels and other events for the fan favorite but borderline grating movie would be fun in the long run.

OUR CHOICE: MARRY

 Man, it was a stretch to think up stuff that was negative about Anna, who is pretty much everything dudes always claim they want. She's adorable, amusing, fit and yet stacked, can sing like Mary Poppins but curse like a sailor, keeps her private life quiet and admits to preferring to NetFlix and avoid responsibilities. This is someone you want to lock down and be happy with forever.

Alexandra Daddario

Pros:

Physique - BOOBS. BOOBS. BOOBS.... and more BOOBS. Sure, she's fit. The ass is great, the tummy is taut. But let's just call it as it is. BOOBS.

Star Power Friendships - She's close with model Kate Upton. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson enjoyed working with her so much on SAN ANDREAS, he supposedly suggested her casting in the upcoming BAYWATCH movie. And of course, Carla Gugino was her mom and the top searched videos on PornHub include familial relations, so I know where your mind is going with that.

Rising Celebrity - As Hollywood continues to catch on to what a catch Daddario is, it means that getting in on the ground floor with her would be beneficial in the long term scheme of things.

Cons:

That Smile - Oy. Shit is creepy. You know, that giant grin, often highlighted in the wrong way with too-red lipstick and that odd slant that happens more in one eye than the other. Imagine waking up to that hovering over you one morning.

Career Demands - While it's great that Alexandra is finding her way through the acting war zone, it means that she's going to far more focused on going above and beyond while on set rather than going down on you.

Everyone's Spank Bank - You've seen the boobs. So has EVERYONE else. The novelty of being the only one who gets to see the goods doesn't exist and the concept that everyone has probably knocked one out to your girl might be a tad creepy.

OUR CHOICE: DATE

Alexandra Daddario is fit, fine and from what I can tell from the brief interviews and mild tweets she's put out there in the world, relatively funny. That body alone is just too much of a temptation to pass up, but you can't eat candy for dinner for the rest of your life, right?

Alison Brie

Pros:

Sense of Humour - Even when on a more dramatic series such as "Mad Men," Alison manages to bring a tongue-in-cheek delivery that most other actors have to struggle to attain. If you're into dry delivery and a healthy dose of sarcasm, she's your girl.

Loyal - Through all of the shit that the cast members of "Community" had to deal with over the will they/won't they series cancellation threats, Brie stuck close to her co-stars. Not to mention that long-standing relationship she's had with Dave Franco (but I'm sure you don't want to think about that).

Physique - If she didn't do so many racy photoshoots for men's magazines, we might not have noticed just how generously well-endowed Brie is. That body is usually wrapped up in plain clothes on the casual, so when the cleavage comes out, it's like getting two prizes at the bottom of your cereal box.

Cons:

Annoying voice - Maybe it's just me, but I can't stand Alison's speaking voice. Too high pitched, just a little bit on the grating side. The sweet nothings would need to be muffled.

Workaholic - Getting to be the character actress of everyone's dreams takes a whole lot of hours in the salt mines. Consider the fact that Alison balanced "Mad Men," "Community" and roles in movies while simultaneously doing interviews, posing for magazines and hustling for even more work and you might get the feeling she's more concerned with pleasing everyone other than you.

Always "On" - I've seen Alison in interviews and get the impression she'll do or say anything to get you to like her. When first meeting someone this might be attractive but long term exposure can become tedious and impossible to keep up with.

OUR CHOICE: FRIEND

Again, I really don't have a lot of negatives here necessarily. It's just the impression that I get of Alison that leads me to believe that she would be an absolutely kick-ass friend but an otherwise strenuous choice of a long or short term partner. Having her around seems awesome. Having to live with her might be a different story.

Now, let's hear your choices!

Source: IMDB

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