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Marry/Date/Friend: Milla Jovovich vs Morena Baccarin vs Olivia Wilde

05.17.2017by: Cherry Liquor

I didn't think that it would be as difficult for some of you to choose between Anna Faris, Lake Bell and Sarah Shahi last week, but the choices were all over the board, with no clear answer to whom was hotter or funnier or whatever. I don't think anyone would have gone wrong with any of the women in any of the categories though, since they're all pretty awesome.

I am not hearing good things about ALIEN: COVENANT. I can't say my feelings are all that hurt, since I don't think of that branch of the sci-fi world to be as enticing as others. Creatures bursting out of guts was a great thing when it first debuted. Dragging it out for decades seems a bit uninspired. Here are a few other women from sci-fi franchises I found to be much more titillating.

Marry: Your forever gal, for better or worse.

Date: Your temporary gal, to have fun with but eventually walk away from.

Friend: Your best buddy gal, with whom you have all the laughs but none of the "benefits."

Olivia Wilde

Pros:

Sense of Humour - I suppose you have to have a strong funny bone and thick skin when you grow up with the last name Cockburn. I don't agree with her choice in funny dudes to copulate and procreate with but Liv definitely knows how to bring the funny when she's not being sexy.

No One Trick Pony - While she's primarily known for being beautiful, Wilde isn't afraid to dazzle people with it in order to push her way through barriers. She's started producing movies and in 2013 launched Conscious Commerce, which helps to sell items made organically & sold at fair trade prices.

Uninhibited - Olivia has a tendency to get nude for roles, as well as do fashion photoshoots where she's pictured breastfeeding her son, all while not having a f*ck to give about how naysayers might feel.

Cons:

Too thin - When she's pregnant, she's probably the most attractive because she fills out nicely. It might be great for some but the too long & lean look doesn't get my motor humming.

Former Royalty - I'm not sure if it really affected her personality in the long run but having been married for 8 years to prince might have taken the gloss off her regular gal status.

Everyone's spank bank - Because she's so free with the nudity and whatnot, you've got to figure there are plenty of dudes wanking to her right now. Which is flattering to a degree, I'm sure. But imagine going out to dinner and getting paranoid when a stranger looks at her for too long.

OUR CHOICE: MARRY

 I like that Olivia Wilde is eco-conscious, doesn't seem to give a damn about maintaining a pristine image and flashes genuine smiles on red carpets, all while being this doting mom and loyal baby mama. She's long term grade A wifey material.

Morena Baccarin

Pros:

Actually Looks Good with Short Hair - I'm a Firefly addict and while I loved Baccarin playing the lusty, traditionally beautiful hooker with a heart of gold type, I was just plain gob-smacked when she cut off all her hair to play Anna on V. Some can pull it off, some can't and Morena can do it exceptionally well.

Free-Spirit - By that, of course, I mean the nudity. She might not have the most bodacious of bodies once the clothes are off but damned if she doesn't work what she's got like a woman on a mission, and not of the religious variety.

TV Titan - The small screen loves Morena and Morena loves it back. She might not be the biggest A-lister out there but she's been booking steady work for years and is a super champ when it comes to changing up roles and not getting pigeon-holed.

Cons:

Diva Behaviour - There's something that doesn't quite sit right with me about the court case Baccarin headed into with her divorce from director Austin Chick, with some allegations of her demanding to change court dates because she thought testifying would be too traumatic (while she was pregnant with the child of the dude she cheated on Chick with). So, yeah...

Philanderess - I don't know for sure what happened in regards to leaving Chick and ending up with Gotham co-star, Ben McKenzie, but when you consider the timeline of being in a relationship with the latter since March 2015 and Chick filing for divorce in June 2015, all while her kids from either were born only 18 months apart, well, once a cheater, always a cheater.

Actor Lineage - Her mother was an actress. Her uncle was an actor. My guess is that family life with Morena would be a bit dramatic.

OUR CHOICE: DATE

Morena was the hard one for me in this three, mainly because I knew I couldn't see anything long term working and I don't know if she would make the best of friends. But she's gorgeous and sexy and looks like crazy-ex-girlfriend fun, so here we are.

Milla Jovovich

Pros:

Kick-Ass - When people try to sell Zoe Saldana to me as a tough chick who can kick Jeffrey Dean Morgan's ass, I find it laughable. When Milla, who is similarly skinny and slight of frame, is the ass-kicker in question? I totally buy it. And I love it.

Leeloo Dallas Multipass - Combine her stoner character from DAZED & CONFUSED and the sheer and utter greatness of THE FIFTH ELEMENT (which honestly has not aged ni the slightest for me over these past 20 years - holy shit! 20 f*cking years!) and I could sit around having laughs with this woman from dusk til dawn.

Naturally Gorgeous - Milla is now in her 40's, still kicks ass and takes a mean fashion pictorial. There's something refreshing about the fact that she hasn't tampered with her looks either, eschewing Botox and the rest of those rejuvenation tactics that women younger than her are already employing.

Cons:

Back in the USSR - Jovovich was born in Russia. Technically now the Ukraine. And Russians are bad. Watch any 80's comedy film and you'll find that out. (/sarcasm)

Paul WS Anderson - The fact that she allowed him to convince her to make that horrible THREE MUSKETEERS movies annoys me to a degree that is wholly unreasonable.

Thinks She Can Sing - While she's definitely not terrible at it, there's something about Milla wanting to be that triple threat model, actress, singer, that highlights how not-not-terrible she is at it, if that makes sense.

OUR CHOICE: FRIEND

I think Milla Jovovich is one cool bitch. I would be tickled if she were my best buddy, not just because she's tough and rich and beautiful and sassy and I could say "Leeloo Dallas Multipass" and "Chick-En" at her all the time without worrying that she would get tired of it (because she actually looks as if she would laugh right along). In fact, I really wish I could hang out with her right now.

Now, let's hear your choices!

Source: IMDB

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