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Marry/Date/Friend: Holland Roden vs Jenna Dewan vs Tatiana Maslany

08.09.2017by: Cherry Liquor

When it comes to Cameron Diaz, opinions are still conflicted. I thought she was a great choice for a temporary dating partner but the majority of you found her to be less than appealing when we visited M/D/F last time. Fewer of you agreed with me about Jennifer Aniston being marriage worthy, opting to go with Charlize Theron for the long term instead. Those who did agree with me were partial to Charlize as their temp gal. You all surprise me sometimes.

The other thing that surprises me is that we're not getting stronger movies released all the way through summer anymore, with August tapering off with the neglected, forgotten or borderline probably should have been released in February stuff like ANNABELLE: CREATION. So here are a few of the underappreciated & neglected babes of Hollywood who need a little more love & friendliness from us all.

Marry: Your forever gal, for better or worse.

Date: Your temporary gal, to have fun with but eventually walk away from.

Friend: Your best buddy gal, with whom you have all the laughs but none of the "benefits."

Tatiana Maslany

Pros:

Canadian, Eh - It's not as if I'm biased, being an American, but you have to admit that the neighbors of the north are mellower and far more chill than pretty much any other nationality out there.

Versatile - While she's still trying to dig her toes into the movie world, the fact that Tatiana has taken on so many different characters shows that her talent never lacks in diversity.

Loyal - After gaining so much attention for how awesome she is on Orphan Black Maslany stuck around with the show. She's also stuck around with her man (actor Tom Cullen) for the past 6 years, so that's saying something.

Cons:

Like a Box of Chocolates - Because she's so good at acting, including different accents and personalities, one might assume that you never know what you're going to get when you're home with her.

Conventions as Far as the Eye Can See - Once Orphan Black is over and if she can't manage to pick up equally lucrative, continuous work, it's going to mean a lot of sitting around a folding table sliding glossies over to her to sign while she answers the same question for the 15,000th time that day.

Just Getting Started - It's not an easy place to be, already a few inches deep into your 30's and just getting people to recognize that you're worth hiring. While Tatiana does have the awards season fodder STRONGER with Jake Gyllenhaal coming up later this year, it's a drop in the bucket towards where she probably wants to be.

OUR CHOICE: MARRY

 Petite, strong, brave with her performances, unequaled in her ability to transform into her characters, I can imagine a long term life with this woman and the freedom from boredom that it would represent. I'm willing to stick it out if she is.

Holland Roden

Pros:

Low Key Gorgeous - With the final season of Teen Wolf wrapping up right now, I revisited the series with a binge on Amazon Prime and was reminded just how insanely gorgeous Holland Roden is without ever coming off overtly so. Probably one of the most overlooked beauties in all of Hollywood.

Effortlessly Ageless - For a woman who started playing a teenager when she was 25 years old, she still looks as if she could walk into a high school and enroll without any hesitation at the age of 31.

Low Key Lifestyle - While she's on one of MTV's most popular scripted shows, Roden has kept a super low profile when she's not filming. When she does show up for events, you won't find her tripping over her dress drunkenly, although she has been known to openly scowl at the paps who are being rude with her.

Cons:

One Note - Outside of her show, Holland has only really taken on low budget horror films that most people have never heard of. And while she still looks like a teenager, my guess is that the roles will eventually dry up if that's the only thing she's considered for.

A Bit Buttoned Up - Perhaps the reason why we don't usually see Holland outside of specific events is that she's not the most loosey-goosey of the young actresses working. And while that might be great in some regards, if the nut never cracks, how can you eat the meat?

Why So Serious? - Most of the time Holland is photographed, she comes off rather pouty, rarely cracking a smile. I live for genuine smiles. I would feel as if I was withering in the hot sun without them.

OUR CHOICE: DATE

I don't think Holland is quite wifey material and I can't see her as being the most warm & welcoming bestie but she sure is gorgeous and who wouldn't want to make time with that for just a little bit?

Jenna Dewan

Pros:

Fit AF - Women who start off as dancers seem to maintain a crazy level of fitness well into their elder years. Jenna is no exception, even if she does have another half of a life to live before she's near elderly

Cool Vegan - It sounds like an oxymoron, but I suppose there's always the rare exception to the rule. I'll never forget reading an interview with Jenna where she was talking with a pro-vegan magazine about how she's going to allow her daughter to choose if she also wants to be one, rather than forcing it on her because she's only a kid. I dig that shit.

Multi-faceted - She can dance, sure. But Jenna can also act, something that seems to be overlooked by the fact that she's mainly been in low budget crap. However, she f*cking WORKS that low budget crap.

Cons:

Still a Vegan - While she's a cool vegan who won't impose her lifestyle choice on you, I still find it hard to navigate any simple situation with my vegan acquaintances. If they're not gently prodding you about why you should swap your regular milk for almond milk in your Frapp, they're casually commenting about how good they feel since they gave up animal products. It's not the lack of meat that would kill me, it's the holier than thou attitude. (Old joke: How can you tell there's a vegan in the room? Wait 2 minutes, they'll tell you allllll about it.)

Slightly frightening smile - Jenna Dewan and Giada de Laurentis have the same big, wide mouth with the rows & rows of teeth like a Jim Henson creation gone wrong. They also both smile all the time, reminding you of that huge trap. It gives me a bit of the willies.

That Whole Channing Tatum Thing - I get it. The dude is supposedly a super nice guy. And I suppose that if that was all he was known for, I'd like him more. But it still chafes me that he's so moderately talented in comparison to others in his field that are looked over (including his wife) and yet still an A-lister, insanely paid movie star. I mean, I get why she's married to him. But you have to question how she can manage to be OK with the fact that he's such a big (undeserved) shadow.

OUR CHOICE: FRIEND

I'd love to hang around with Jenna, learn some dance moves, give her shit about not wanting any butter on her toast and be her best ally in gaining new work. She seems like a cool chick who needs some more cheerleaders.

Now, let's hear your choices!

Source: IMDB

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