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Marry/Date/Friend: Anna Faris vs Lake Bell vs Sarah Shahi

05.03.2017by: Cherry Liquor

Am I really the only one who would want to marry Alice Eve? Based on the feedback from the last Marry/Date/Friend, either I am or the other people who agreed with me didn't speak up because each and every one of you considered her to be ideal date material while preferring to marry either Hayley Atwell or Jenna Coleman (with the remainder friending them). I'm still a bit surprised that people don't consider Alice and her many amazing attributes to be long-term goals in a partner. But I've been wrong before.

With the only new release at the box office this weekend being GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2, I didn't want to overload you with women from the franchise (that'll be for tomorrow) but it got me to thinking about how the movie's lead star, Chris Pratt, is married to a really cool and good looking woman himself. So then I started thinking about other equally hot/cool actresses who are married to other really cool dudes. And here we are.

Marry: Your forever gal, for better or worse.

Date: Your temporary gal, to have fun with but eventually walk away from.

Friend: Your best buddy gal, with whom you have all the laughs but none of the "benefits."

Lake Bell


That Body - There are people who will be asshats and refer to Bell as a "butterface" because they don't like her unique looks but no one is ever going to deny that she has one of the best bodies in Hollywood - without any crazy obsessing about special diets of over-exercising. A genetic lottery winner that you get to reap the rewards of? Hell yes.

Multi-faceted Talent - Not only can Bell be sublimely fantastic in the flesh doing everyone from comedy to drama (often being the best thing about any project she's in), she's an accomplished voice over actress and director as well.

Strength of Character - Seriously, the way this lady is unafraid to be herself and take advantage of all of these different career opportunities is so intoxicating.


Tough & Independent - I am going to struggle to come up with negatives when it comes to Lake Bell. While I consider a person with independent fortitude to be a huge positive, I know a lot of other people who would prefer a woman a little softer, a little needier, a little more... well, a little less, actually.

Ummm.... - I told you I was going to have a hard time thinking up anything negative about her.

No, seriously, Um.... - If anyone wants to jump in and think of a con to this woman, be my guest. Because I'm tapped out.


 Believe it or not, the first time I recall seeing (and being floored by) Lake Bell was in WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS, a stupid, throwaway comedy that I watched on a whim and liked for only two reasons - Bell & Corddry. Then she seemed to be everywhere in small roles, all of which just solidified how charming she was. Then she appeared naked on the cover of New York Magazine covered in fake tattoos, married one of the best tattoo artists out there and directed IN A WORLD... all in 2013, winning me over pretty much for life. I would kill to be married to this woman.

Sarah Shahi


Genuine, Unaffected Joy - You can look at pretty much any red carpet appearance or glossy photoshoot that Sarah Shahi has ever done and it's going to be filled with her wide, inviting smile. There's something infectious about a person who doesn't carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, a constant, "You mad, bro?" to the negative Nancys that constantly surround us.

That Body - While not quite as bow-chica-wow-wow as Lake Bell, Sarah has a fantastic figure that defies her age and has clearly not been tampered with, as so many of her contemporaries are wont to do. That, and she also seems more naturally fit than overly worked.

Loyal - I mentioned earlier that all of these women are married to cool dudes, and Steve Howey (of Shameless fame) is the lucky dude in question here. They've been together for almost 15 years now and not only is she constantly talking about how much she still loves him, she's totally cool with how raunchy his scenes with his on-screen wife get.


Feisty Temper - The other side to being a genuine woman is that Sarah doesn't hold her tongue - she once tweeted angrily about how Paris Hilton nearly hit her with her car in California, even though Hilton tried to deny it.

Not-Quite-A-List - While I don't think that she cares whether or not she's the biggest name on the bill, preferring to stick to regular roles on television shows (there's that loyalty again), I imagine that she might get bored when/if people don't feel as compelled to hire her.

Former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader - I don't hate football, so this isn't a thing about Dallas, but I have experience with women who were formerly cheerleaders and they can get a bit.... overwhelming?... at times.


Sarah Shahi is fun, funny, well adjusted, sharp, and for the most part everything you would want in a woman, even if she might be a bit too peppy or overbearing in the long-term. Still, I don't think you could go wrong being married to her either... if you could keep up with her.

Anna Faris


Sense of Humour - From the onset of her career, as an actress in the SCARY MOVIE parodies, Anna proved that she doesn't have a huge problem with taking herself too seriously. If anything, it's the other people around her who don't seem to know what to do with that.

Stoner - I'm sure she's cleaned up that habit by now, being a mom and all, but Anna admitted that after her first marriage dissolved, she spent a lot of time getting high and avoiding reality (two of my favorite things!) while she mended her broken heart. Stoners are more fun and easier to hang around with, this is a proven fact.

Surprising - While she's always going to be best known as a comedic actress (her airheaded performance in HOUSE BUNNY is a quiet masterpiece when you really think about it), the fact that the second best thing I like Anna in was the dark and delightfully disturbing Lucky McKee movie, MAY, proves that she has so much more in her than just the funny.


Too Skinny - Some time after HOUSE BUNNY was made, Anna started getting really skinny. Stick skinny. Unhealthy looking skinny. I know she was dealing with some healthy issues her son was having and that it was traumatizing, but she's never quite fully regained her healthier appearance and that's a bit of a bummer.

Roller Coaster Career - Sometimes Faris does something really great that sticks out in our minds and other times she appears in absolute garbage that we wish we could forget ever existed. Plus, as much as I've tried to find value in her CBS sitcom Mom, it's so wildly uneven that it's impossible to fully enjoy.

Always On - There is a degree of constantly being "on" when it comes to both Faris and her hubby, which can at times be amusing and at others make me wonder just how true to themselves they're being for the public eye. It's hard to tell, which might mean that behind closed doors, there's a slightly less "fun" degree to their reality.


Anna Faris honestly looks as if she would be a bomb friend, even if it's mainly for the ladies in the world, although I know a number of guys who enjoy being in the company of a woman like her, so long as she's married to someone else.

Now, let's hear your choices!

Source: IMDB


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