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06.03.2015by: Cherry Liquor
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The Top Ten Sexiest Female Spies

I am not going to have a hard time deciding not to go see SPY when it's in theaters. I can still call myself a feminist and choose not to support silly crap that makes fun at the expense of Melissa McCarthy's size. Yeah, I get it, she's fat and not that attractive so why not sell her as funny? When it works, go for it. When it's just another retread of something they've done with her over and over again, I'll pass. If I want to see the same thing repeatedly, there are plenty of movies and TV shows that feature much stronger female spy characters. Yes, most of them are more aesthetically pleasing that McCarthy but overall, these are characters that were just plain written better. And in the case of this top ten, I had a very hard time narrowing it down to just ten.

Legendary Spy Hottie: Honor Blackman (GOLDFINGER/The Avengers)

Honor Blackman will forever be remembered as the sexy spy Pussy Galore from GOLDFINGER. Yes, I am aware that the James Bond movies have had several super hot women playing spies throughout the multiple actors who have taken on the iconic role. I ended up leaving them off this list so that it wouldn't turn into a slightly skewed version of a Bond top ten. All of the women who have followed Blackman have been trying to emulate her smart, sassy sexiness. The fact that she also took on the role of Cathy Gale in the TV show "The Avengers" proves to me that she was meant to be a spy. Blackman will turn 90-years old in August. Long live the legend.

#10 - Keri Russell (The Americans)

I know I should have gotten more into the show but I blame its grittiness in being so real that it essentially turned me off. Keri Russell may have gotten her start as a dewy college freshman on "Felicity," but I far prefer her in later years, where she's applied her life experience and turned her performances into something mesmerizing. She's sexier when she's badass.

#9 - Natascha McElhone (RONIN)

I've often pondered if McElhone in RONIN is truly a spy herself or just a spy coordinator. Whatever the case, her performance in the movie only added to its appeal and that's saying a lot seeing as how the film also included the talents of Robert De Niro and Jean Reno. Let's just say that a female mastermind is super sexy and the looks on McElhone have always fascinated me.

#8 - Diane Kruger (INGLORIOUS BASTERDS)

I am a diehard Tarantino fan for a reason. Sure, there are the rumours about him being a creepy foot fetishist and the general unease that he gives people when spouting off but the man can write some of the best female characters ever. He doesn't write them stupid and he doesn't write them impervious to the general woes of life. He writes them strong but vulnerable, witty and intelligent but crafty in the instances when playing it dumb or soft would best serve to save their life. Kruger's Bridget von Hammersmark, a German actress who works as a spy for the "good guys" is everything I love about how Taratino writes a female character. She's smart, she's brave but she also recognizes the limitations from her lot in life. There's a reason why Hans wanted to strangle her with his bare hands; She inspires more than just thoughtless homicide.

#7 - Anne Hathaway (GET SMART)

I have a love/hate relationship with Anne Hathaway. Sometimes I love her in movies/shows and other times I just want to throw a shoe at the screen. When she's not angling for an Oscar, Hathaway can be insanely charming and as the straight-laced Agent 99 in the 2008's film version of GET SMART, Anne really kills it. Between her craftiness and that dance scene, Anne ended up being my favorite part in a movie that was supposed to be more about the guys.

#6 - Elizabeth Hurley (AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY)

Some time after her breakup with Hugh Grant, the studios began casting Hurley in all sorts of silly comedies, selling her as being a more refined funny lady. And honestly? It worked for me. having Hurley play the straight man to Mike Myers' over-the-top caricature of a 60's spy was pure genius. Liz held together the film with her unforced proper British babe delivery but still managed to be sexy without sacrificing her dignity. It's too bad that she turned out to be.... well, unable to perform her duties in the sequels. They never really got the recipe for her character right after that.

#5 - Jamie Lee Curtis (TRUE LIES)

Remember when James Cameron made entertaining, funny and bombastically raucous action films? Long before sticking hypocritical environmental diatribes and blowing his wad on insane special effects, Cameron was able to deliver movies that I'd look forward to and want to watch more than once. TRUE LIES is still my favorite movie from the arrogant director and it's just as much for Jamie Lee's never-to-be-seen-again MILFtastic body as it is Bill Paxton pissing himself, Tom Arnold cracking wise and yes, even Arnold being a more subdued version of Arnold. I'd rather watch this movie for the billionth time than entertain the notion of paying for a second AVATAR.

#4 - Jennifer Garner (Alias)

I think I might just include Jennifer Garner on one too many top ten lists but see it from my point of view - I'm a chick. I like watching actresses who are beautiful, yes, but also realistic, approachable and easy to sympathize with. For me, Garner has never really gotten the full respect that she deserves. She can play the soft-hearted mother with those bewitching dimples and then just as easily be a badass spy/superheroine/crazy butter sculptor. My obsession started with her on "Alias" and it's never really died down since. Can you blame me?

#3 - Peta Wilson (La Femme Nikita)

Maybe it's because I'm a kid of the 90's, but Peta Wilson always has done it for me. The first time I saw her in the adapted for television version of LA FEMME NIKITA, I was hooked. It's part of the reason why I couldn't be bothered to watch the version with Maggie Q. After watching the original French movie, then the tepid Bridget Fonda Americanized version (POINT OF NO RETURN), I finally got a good heroic female spy who was tough, tender and intelligent. No need to keep going when you'd finally achieved the best.

#2 - Carla Gugino (SPY KIDS)

When the first SPY KIDS movie was released, Carla Gugino was barely 30-years old and already over the Hollywood hump. Perhaps I'm too versed in the ages of stars and the time periods that they set movies in, etc, but it was a fact in these films that bugged the f*ck out of me. Now Carla's still in a similar boat, playing the mom to Alexandra Daddario in SAN ANDREAS, so the issue hasn't been resolved. As a spy, Gugino rocks. I just wish they could have done it without attaching the two annoying kids (and the bumbling Banderas) to her role.

#1 - Yvonne Strahovski (Chuck)

I was late to the game in finally getting around to watching this charming spy show, which probably contributed to its cancellation (although let's be fair, it DID get 5 full seasons, so there shouldn't be too much bitching). When I first really started paying attention to Strahovski, she was that evil Black Widow character on "Dexter," but she was so compelling I started watching everything else she's done(which reminds me, she owes me 92 minutes of my life back after the terrible I, FRANKENSTEIN). On "Chuck," as the sexy spy Sarah who guides the hapless Zachary Levi through his undercover training, I wanted to both be her best friend and her special best friend.

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5:26AM on 06/03/2015
Hell yes! Yvonne is just a stunning woman. She's athletic, has long toned legs, and amazing boobs.
Hell yes! Yvonne is just a stunning woman. She's athletic, has long toned legs, and amazing boobs.
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5:25AM on 06/03/2015
Carla really needs to get better film roles. She is still a gorgeous curvy goddess and is a pretty good actress too.
Carla really needs to get better film roles. She is still a gorgeous curvy goddess and is a pretty good actress too.
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5:23AM on 06/03/2015
Keri is looking better with age. She's also become a much better actress.
Keri is looking better with age. She's also become a much better actress.
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