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10.21.2015by: Cherry Liquor

The Top Ten Hottest Pop Singers of the '80's

Sooooo... that JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS movie looks awesome, right? Because why wouldn't something from the '80's age well enough to sell to an entire generation of kids who have no sense of social privacy, auto-tuned life soundtracks and a familiarity with Molly Ringwald that doesn't extend past "The Secret Life of the American Teenager"? Synergy can't do 10% of what their iPhones can. The only good use for this throwaway movie is a topic for a top ten list, so I suppose it's not completely useless.

#10 - Pat Benatar

What impressed me the most about Pat Benatar was what a huge presence she was. Standing at a wee 5 feet, that little body of hers barely filled the spandex bodysuits she wore but her voice could overpower stadiums. Pat was the real deal, no special remixing, no tricks. Just crazy strong pipes. There's a reason why her songs, 30+ years later, remain on high rotation. They've never quite been topped.

#9 -Sheena Easton

When thinking up this list, Sheena was one of the first to come to my mind and suddenly I realized that I knew nothing about her past those precious duets she did with Prince toward the end of the '80's. At the start of the 80's, Sheena was riding high as an Oscar nominated James Bond theme song contributor. Sure, "For Your Eyes Only" is one of the suckiest Bond songs (for those who think it's Madonna's, try sitting through Easton's) but it certainly added weight to the obsession men had with the Scottish lass. Out of all of these '80's pop stars, Easton had the highest number of photos shopped into porn poses. If that isn't the highest praise, what is?

#8 - Sade

For the longest time, I never realized that Sade was a band and not just a reference to the hottest member, a gorgeous Nigerian singer with lips that inspired a thousand plastic surgeons to invent fillers. The band was more of a soul group than a pop one but because of the popularity of MTV and the visual treat that Sade presented, they were considered more of a Top 40 act. If you go looking up modern day Sade, now 56-years old, you'll be surprised to see that she's aged impeccably. Smooth Operator, indeed.

#7 - Paula Abdul

Long before she became late night talk show joke fodder for her rambling, incoherent moments on "American Idol," Paula was a former choreographer & dancer who tried her hand at a singing career - and did a damn good job at it. Her album, Forever Your Girl, set a record for the longest time on a Billboard chart - 64 weeks (that's over a damn year, try pulling that shit off in this current ADHD world) - before hitting number 1 and staying there for 10 weeks. The videos accompanying her songs were fun to watch (MC Skat Kat? That skat was awesome) and always contained her famous dancing skills. Abdul was a hot little number then and despite all of the snickers, she's still damn hot today.

#6 - Janet Jackson

Sometime after being the darling little girl from the Jackson family and yet before all of the nipple flashing, raunchy tour dance cash grabs of her recent career, Janet Jackson got Nasty. I was a little kid when Rhythm Nation was tearing shit up and I remember thinking that Janet was powerful, strong, badass. I miss that moment in time prior to when her surgeries became more excessive, when people seemed far more forgiving of her fuller booty (or perhaps not, seeing as how since that time she was plagued with extreme weight gains and losses).

#5 - Tina Turner

Tina had been around for a number of years by the time that her album Private Dancer was released in 1984 but fans had been unaware of just what Turner had gone through while singing with Ike Turner, her bandmate and abusive husband. This new, empowered woman worked her strut for the music video cameras, showing just how sexy a 45-year old woman could be. Most younger stars won't hold up into their 40's... in the '80's, Tina was just starting her salad days.

#4 - Deborah Harry

I'm cheating a bit here, although not too hard. The highlight of Deborah Harry's Blondie days happened during the late 1970's, with only a couple of underselling albums released in the early 80's before breaking up so she could care for bandmate and boyfriend, Chris Stein. It wouldn't be until the late '90's that the band would regroup for a new album, by which time Harry had succumbed a bit to age. She's still a hearty badass that many of the fringe rock/pop singers of late emulate, even if they fail to recognize that they are.

#3 - Belinda Carlisle

When I was growing up, people used to tell me I looked like Belinda Carlisle. That's great and all, until you think of me being a minor and grown men saying this. I didn't get that it was creepy until her Playboy pictorial came out in 2000, where at the age of 42, she posed fully nude and stoked desires to unseal her lips. Carlisle is probably the most badass of women who look completely innocent, harboring a coke addiction long into the 2000's after many had started embracing yoga, or in the world of Belinda's bandmate Jane Wiedlin, PETA ramblings (which consequently Carlisle would take up as well).

#2 - Susanna Hoffs

She tried her hand at acting, if you could call it that, while taking a break from one of the most well-known and best selling all-female pop/rocks groups, The Bangles. That might have been the nail in the coffin for both her career (her acting was on par with that of Cindy Crawford, alas) and the band needed her huge doe eyes and little lilting voice to carry them through. Their remake of "Hazy Shade of Winter" is my favorite soundtrack jam and Susanna is easily the best aged of any of the ladies on this list.

#1 - Madonna

There's an episode of "South Park" where Butters is attempting to be naughty as Professor Chaos while his sidekick Dougie, aka General Disarray, reminds him that the "Simpsons did it!" This is what comes to mind whenever I see a pop star of the 2000's do pretty much anything. Miley flaunting nipple on magazine covers? Madonna did it. (And she got paid a helluva lot more for it, with that shrink-wrapped Sex book.) Writhing around on the ground at the VMAs? Madonna did it. She's had 37 number one songs, 15 number one albums, putting her miles ahead of newbies like Katy & Rihanna, who are still lingering with only 10 top songs. And in the midst of the '80's, she personified sexy, tough & tender all wrapped in lace.

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5:49PM on 10/26/2015
Samantha Fox should be on this list. She had '80s hits like "Touch Me" and even posed for Playboy. She was hot. So was Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.
Samantha Fox should be on this list. She had '80s hits like "Touch Me" and even posed for Playboy. She was hot. So was Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.
Your Reply:



2:26PM on 10/26/2015
Samantha Fox should be on this list. She had '80s hits like "Touch Me" and even posed for Playboy. She was hot. So was Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.
Samantha Fox should be on this list. She had '80s hits like "Touch Me" and even posed for Playboy. She was hot. So was Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.
Your Reply:



5:10PM on 10/24/2015
Great list, screw the haters
Great list, screw the haters
Your Reply:



+0
2:05PM on 10/21/2015
10) Tina 9) Pat 8) Sade 7) Deborah 6) Belinda 5) Janet 4) Sheena 3) Madonna 2) Paula 1) Susanna

This the 1st list where I don't like more than half the women in it.
10) Tina 9) Pat 8) Sade 7) Deborah 6) Belinda 5) Janet 4) Sheena 3) Madonna 2) Paula 1) Susanna

This the 1st list where I don't like more than half the women in it.
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+0
1:34PM on 10/21/2015

Solid list.....

Susanna Hoffs and Benetar were probably the hottest ones (with Easton a close third). Turner should have been left off (she was way past hot at that point), and Terri Nunn from Berlin should have been included. Not only was Nunn hot, she posed nude, and most of all she was a rumored nymphomaniac who wrote the song "No More Words" to complain about how her husband wasn't giving it up enough for her.

I'd take her over Madonna any day.
Susanna Hoffs and Benetar were probably the hottest ones (with Easton a close third). Turner should have been left off (she was way past hot at that point), and Terri Nunn from Berlin should have been included. Not only was Nunn hot, she posed nude, and most of all she was a rumored nymphomaniac who wrote the song "No More Words" to complain about how her husband wasn't giving it up enough for her.

I'd take her over Madonna any day.
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10:46AM on 10/21/2015
She's an unbelievably physically fitted woman. Still hot.
She's an unbelievably physically fitted woman. Still hot.
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10:44AM on 10/21/2015
I had a huge crush on her while growing up.
I had a huge crush on her while growing up.
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9:07AM on 10/21/2015

so many missing

Madonna ...pullleesse...Madge belongs in a NatGeo shoot
Hoffs and a few of the others ok, but too many missing. Kim Wilde, Sam Brown ...actually there would be quite a list ahead of this bunch.
Madonna ...pullleesse...Madge belongs in a NatGeo shoot
Hoffs and a few of the others ok, but too many missing. Kim Wilde, Sam Brown ...actually there would be quite a list ahead of this bunch.
Your Reply:



8:36AM on 10/21/2015
Tiffany, and Debbie Gibson should probably be on this list.
Tiffany, and Debbie Gibson should probably be on this list.
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1:33PM on 10/21/2015
Both were average looking and both were famous for playing up their looks while they were underage. Neither belongs on this list.
Both were average looking and both were famous for playing up their looks while they were underage. Neither belongs on this list.
11:30AM on 10/21/2015
They were minors during the height of their success and I'd think that putting on the list would be in bad taste.
They were minors during the height of their success and I'd think that putting on the list would be in bad taste.
7:30AM on 10/21/2015
Where are Samantha Fox and Chrissy Amphlett from Divinyls? That's a pretty awkward list.
Where are Samantha Fox and Chrissy Amphlett from Divinyls? That's a pretty awkward list.
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6:22PM on 10/21/2015
I really think Chrissy Amphlett was hot just so you know.
I really think Chrissy Amphlett was hot just so you know.
1:34PM on 10/21/2015
Amphhlett wasn't that hot, but Samantha Fox was awesome!
Amphhlett wasn't that hot, but Samantha Fox was awesome!
5:36AM on 10/21/2015
Susanna Hoffs is definitely #1 for me. She still looks gorgeous after all these years. Debbie Harry would be #2 for me and then there is a huge dropoff after that.
Susanna Hoffs is definitely #1 for me. She still looks gorgeous after all these years. Debbie Harry would be #2 for me and then there is a huge dropoff after that.
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+1
5:11AM on 10/21/2015
I don't usually comment on this kind of posts (to each his own...), but I have to ask: where is Kim Wilde, Samantha Fox?
I don't usually comment on this kind of posts (to each his own...), but I have to ask: where is Kim Wilde, Samantha Fox?
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11:31AM on 10/21/2015
I actually had Kim Wilde in mind but defaulted to some other favorites.
I actually had Kim Wilde in mind but defaulted to some other favorites.

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