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04.22.2015by: Cherry Liquor

The Top Ten Hottest Movie Cougars

While not exactly a cougar romance slash sexually adventurous type of movie, THE AGE OF ADALINE does suppose that the woman in question is much, much older than the man she seduces. It's a popular topic, that of a woman with experience not being tame or reserved around a younger guy. We've seen it over and over again, countless times. I'm just counting ten of my favorite examples this week.

The Cougar Legend - Anne Bancroft (THE GRADUATE)

Seven simple words. "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me." Thus seemingly began our movie going obsession with watching a younger dude learn the sexual ropes with a more seasoned woman. Anne Bancroft was only 36-years old when she took on the famous fiance seducing role in the classic Mike Nichols film, THE GRADUATE. That made her a mere 6 years older than Dustin Hoffman, hardly a true cougar age difference. (Drew Barrymore, who once dated actor Justin Long, 3 years her junior, referred to an age gap of less than ten years as being "puma" status.) We've never forgotten, therefore we are constantly repeating our sexy lack of sensible judgment.

#10 - Jennifer Aniston (THE GOOD GIRL)

I have a deep affection for this movie, partly because I have harbored a long standing lust for the young Jake Gyllenhaal and partly because I could really understand some of the emotions that Jennifer Aniston's character was going through to force her into some really shitty life decisions. Sure, she was a bargain department store clerk in unflattering mom jeans but if you were Holden, you would have been all over that too.

#9 - Elizabeth Perkins (BIG)

Imagine trying to do this same thing with a reversal in gender. Wait, they did. And we all felt as uncomfortable as Mark Ruffalo when he refused to kiss the child-turned-adult Jennifer Garner in 13 GOING ON 30. Still, back when we were little kids, the concept of being able to navigate our way through an adult life, as Tom Hanks did in BIG, was appealing. Getting to touch the boobies of the ultra-fine 1980's Elizabeth Perkins was simply the icing on the top bunk.

#8 - Julianne Moore (DON JON)

Going into DON JON, I wasn't expecting for the film to take the turn that it did. Sure, I figured that I'd see a lot of greased up JGL physique and appreciate the Jersey Shore workout that he put himself through for the film but I hardly thought I'd be totally turned on by the older, wiser and emotionally damaged Moore. Would you have chosen Jon's path? Or would you have kept putting up with ScarJo's shit simply because she's ScarJo?

#7 - Jennifer Coolidge (AMERICAN PIE)

One of the strange side effects of loving Jennifer Coolidge as her ongoing role as Stiffler's mother in the AMERICAN PIE series is that her being so sexy inadvertently gave me a long-running crush on Eddie Kaye Thomas. Sure, I tell everyone that I watch "Scorpion" because Katharine McPhee is so fine and Robert Patrick is the kinda guy you don't turn down, but Coolidge turned Thomas into a sexy bug-eyed man for me.

#6 - Susan Sarandon (BULL DURHAM)

BULL DURHAM not only gave audiences a chance to drool over Susan Sarandon, as they'd already been doing for years, but it birthed the 20+ year long relationship between Sarandon and Tim Robbins, who is 8 years her junior. What was Costner's movie (one of the first in his long running relationship with baseball movies) to dominate, we all were sucked in by the sexy high jinks of the young pitcher and his mature groupie.

#5 - Uma Thurman (PRIME)

PRIME is one of those overlooked and underappreciated comedies that was perhaps too close to real life to be successful. Thurman, a neurotic thirty-something who feels overworked and underloved finds some sassy happiness in a relationship with a young twenty-something... who happens to be the son of her psychiatrist. That part of the story is clunky and handled poorly but the pitfalls of a making good sex into a relationship when there's a big age difference is delivered expertly. If you loved Uma young, this is the movie that makes you lust her older incarnation.

#4 - Michelle Pfeiffer (CHERI)

Take Michelle Pfeiffer and put her in any scene in any movie and you're going to be aroused. Put her in period costumes, antiquated social norms and give her a young dude to play with and you'll be in love. CHERI, another one of those movies that not many people have seen, does just that and turns Michelle from the young dupe in DANGEROUS LIAISONS into a more triumphant sexy cougar.

#3 - Angela Bassett (HOW STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK)

Terry McMillan, the author of the book that spawned the successful cougar goddess film, HOW STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK, did not find lifelong happiness with her own Winston. The real-life story of their romantic meltdown is probably too angry and unsexy to make a sequel from. So it's a good thing that McMillan has this frozen-in-time gem to fall back on, where Angela Bassett and Taye Diggs are infatuated with each other forever in celluloid history.

#2 - Jennifer Lopez (THE BOY NEXT DOOR)

Honestly, I haven't watched this movie and don't have a strong inclination to go out of my way to rectify that. I just appreciate that Jennifer Lopez is even hotter now than she's been in years. I don't want to think about how in real life a mature woman f*cking a teenager would be anything less her fault than his, which might be why Ryan Guzman is the oldest looking teenager I've seen on film in... ever. While the ick factor will never evaporate for me, consider that in real life, JLo is 18 years older than her current boyfriend, Casper.

#1 - Maribel Verdu (Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN)

OK, so Maribel Verdu is most likely not the person you expected to be at the number one spot on this list. She definitely isn't necessarily the most beautiful. But in Alfonso Cuaron's sexually charged road trip movie, it's impossible to deny that she's the most sexually adventurous of all of the cougars here. The main concept between a younger guy (or guys!) getting a shot with an older woman is the inhibition-free sex and boy daddy is there a shitton of it in this movie. It seriously doesn't get much hotter than Verdu in that regard. She's earned her spot.

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