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07.08.2015by: Cherry Liquor

The Top Ten Hottest Movie Babe Minions

In the latest installment in the DESPICABLE ME series, we're going to find out the origin of those bad little yellow boys. From the trailers, it looks like the MINIONS will meet their first Gru, a badass bitch in the form of Scarlett Overkill (as voiced by America's darling, Sandy Bullock). I've noticed that a lot of movies have hotties with raging domination lust and that pretty much all of them have their own (rather attractive) minions. Here's a list of my favorite "10."

#10 - Selma Blair (CRUEL INTENTIONS)

Perhaps less of a minion and more of a sad disposable plaything, poor Selma Blair had Sarah Michelle Gellar as a mean girl who not only wanted to pimp her out to her stepbrother but wanted to give the girl lessons in how to get the job done right. The only part more awesome than Blair & Gellar kissing in the movie is that the pair of friends continue the trend every time they appear at the same events together.

#9 - Samaire Armstrong & Bree Turner (JUST MY LUCK)

Armstrong and Turner have been playing supporting roles for the majority of their careers, which might be why they excel even when placed in a shitty Lindsay Lohan movie such as this one. LiLo was the lead and yet the girls are the better part of the film (as well as a vampy performance from Missi Pyle) and Chris Pine ended up the biggest star of anyone in the cast. This isn't a hidden gem I'm suggesting you watch but more of a shout out to two actresses who deserve so much better.

#8 - Lauren London & Lauren Storm (I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER)

At the height of her popularity from "Heroes," Hayden Panettiere took on the difficult role of the popular girl that the valedictorian at her school proclaims his love for during their graduation ceremony. It was difficult mainly because the book the movie was adapted from wasn't a huge heap of laughs and the marketing failed to get butts into the seats because audiences were confused. Beth Cooper is more than just a cut-out teenage primadonna, she's a complicated girl. The Laurens are a great support system for Beth, even if they follow her lead without much thought. Plus, they're not afraid to have a threesome with the kid who thinks he's gay. (Haven't seen the movie? You should. It's not as bad as might think.)

#7 - Anna Faris (THE HOT CHICK)

As I started looking through these types of movies (stereotypically bitchy cheerleaders, sorority girls and other catty roles) I found that many of them cross over with their casts. Actresses who are generally thought of as nice and easy to work with play the bitches and the difficult stars get to be the heroic sweethearts. Anna Faris is often the dimwitted darling whom others prey upon, perhaps because she does it so well. I actually like THE HOT CHICK with all of its simple mindedness and frivolity as well as the time machine that allows me to remember how cute Faris was before toying with plastic surgery. (She's still cute, just polished to a waxy shine.)

#6 - Sophia Bush & Ashanti (JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE)

Far less minions than a banded together force of wronged women, I still think that Sophia & Ashanti played the underdogs to Arielle Kebbel's domineering brainiac who also fell for the wrong dude. Bush really plays up the ditzy save-the-Earth crunchy granola type and Ashanti works the sassy sista-friend dialog, making it hard for the viewers to understand why any dude would want to use and throw away either of them.

#5 - Rachel Specter (THE HOUSE BUNNY)

It's a pity that we haven't seen anything from Rachel Specter since her brief bit in 2011's JUST GO WITH IT. Back when she was forced to kowtow to Sarah Wright's evil blonde sorority bitch Ashley in THE HOUSE BUNNY, I really thought this exotic beauty would be huge. Specter's character was too smart to deal with her bitchy leader and perhaps she's too smart for the Hollywood machine; Rachel graduated with honors from Florida University, which she attended on a full academic scholarship.

#4 - Julie Benz & Judy Greer (JAWBREAKER)

Another one of those semi-forgotten movies that MEAN GIRLS should be sending thank-you bouquets to every year, JAWBREAKER was as dark as HEATHERS and meaner than Cujo's cousin. The whole premise of the movie turned people off when it was first released in 1999, perhaps because people wanted their Rose McGowan a bit blonder and more Rachel McAdams-ish. Rebecca Gayheart fought the system while Julie Benz & Judy Greer towed the line until they thought they could overthrow the queen. An excellent watch if you haven't seen it before.

#3 - Winona Ryder (HEATHERS)

When we first are introduced to Veronica in HEATHERS, she is very much their little whipping bitch. We all know that the raven-tressed 1980's beauty that is Winona Ryder triumphs in a blaze of smoke but up until Christian Slater (remember when Christian Slater was the absolute tits?? They haven't built them as cool as '80's Slater since...) shakes her world to its social climbing core, she was willing to do anything the Heathers told her to do.

#2 - Clare Kramer & Nicole Bilderback (BRING IT ON)

Clare Kramer is an unsung comic genius, rarely seen since the early aughts, which is a huge pity. Bilderback may have suffered as much from her name as from her slightly cross-eyed glare but the two of them together in the cheerleader movie that started it all is perfection. The locker room scene where the two trade puns ("She puts the whore in horrifying...") is pure magic. It's too bad these two didn't nail all of their twisted ambition to the wall or we would have seen them annihilate Kiki Dunst in 2 seconds flat.

#1 - Lacey Chabert & Amanda Seyfried (MEAN GIRLS)

Where would we be without MEAN GIRLS? After trying on the role of bitchy high school leader Jessica in THE HOT CHICK, Rachel McAdams moved on from terrorizing simple-minded Anna Faris to dominating a couple of other dimwits in MEAN GIRLS. Chabert is really my favorite here because she wasn't really all that stupid, just insecure and incapable of properly channeling her manipulative powers to make her the head bitch. The movie has taken on a massive following built on the excellent acting from everyone around, but I think we all found something to relate to in the soft-hearted followers.



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