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10.07.2015by: Cherry Liquor

The Top Ten Babes from Fantasy Films

I have absolutely zero desire to see PAN. It's not because I have anything against Peter or the fantasy genre in general. It just looks like an overblown waste of money. Movies don't have to be full of CGI or crazy animation to be fantastical. They don't even have to be written well or acted all that great. What they have to do is suspend reality for about 90 to 120 minutes (or, on Peter Jackson's timeline, about 9 hours.) Here are a few of the lovely ladies from fantasy films that I enjoy.

#10 - Brigitte Nielsen (RED SONJA)

She might have crashed and burned when navigating her world post-Sly, but when Nielsen was good, she was very, very good. As for her movie RED SONJA, it's one of those so bad it's good memories, one where my uncles would sit around and converse in near grunts as they popped this or CONAN into the VHS player. Even Flavor Flav would agree, Brigitte was a world class ass kicker.

#9 - Jennifer Jason Leigh (FLESH + BLOOD)

If you've ever wondered what SHOWGIRLS would have been like during the middle ages, minus the sparkle and flash of Vegas, you might want to try searching out Verhoeven's first big Hollywood film, FLESH + BLOOD. A young and frequently fully nude Jennifer Jason Leigh fleshes out the sex factor that the director is known for and the film is a bloody, dirty, fairly un-Hollywood piece of work. It's gritty in its fantasy and it's one of those hidden gems of a movie.

#8 - Evangeline Lilly (THE HOBBIT movies)

I love me some Lilly but I wasn't fully sold on her pointed ears. That might have more to do with my displeasure over how Jackson stretched out the small story of THE HOBBIT into an overblown cashgrab of a series, with mo-capped Benedict Cumberbatch pretending he was a dragon. Still, it's hard to deny that Evangeline wasn't as angelic as always.

#7 - Charlotte Rampling (ZARDOZ)

Even as an older woman, Charlotte Rampling is an eternally sexy bitch. She has presence (watching her pensive faces in SWIMMING POOL was proof that you don't have to say a word to act), grace, intelligence and wit about her. When you throw in the fact that even standing next to a hairy, loincloth wearing boner killer that is Sean Connery, she was hot AF, you have it all. ZARDOZ is one of those awful, awful movies from the '70's that I could watch over and over again and Charlotte makes it worth it.

#6 - Mia Sara (LEGEND)

It's weird and creepy and perhaps the closest version of Tom Cruise's life that we'll ever be close enough to experience. All jokes aside, LEGEND is probably one of my favorite childhood movies, partly because who wouldn't love Tim Curry as the glorious red horned beast that he was and what little girl doesn't want to grow up and pet a unicorn, even if it means her entire world will crumble around her for it?

#5 - Liv Tyler (THE LORD OF THE RINGS movies)

Prior to make the LORD OF THE RINGS movies, I always thought Liv Tyler was a bit Elfin. As the ethereal beauty Arwen, she brought to life the fantastical version of herself I suspected was beneath her surface all along. Other than a few moments in her career (mainly just that midriff baring sweater and plaid skirt in EMPIRE RECORDS), this was easily the height of the actress' loveliness.

#4 - Michelle Pfeiffer (LADYHAWKE)

You can't go wrong with a little Michelle Pfeiffer on your top ten lists. I wasn't sure if I should pick her turn as the vain witch from STARDUST or the more earnest (and cursed) Lady Isabeau. I decided to go with the more delicate role, although even when I was a child, I saw that Pfeiffer was still too young for Hauer. Then again, in the same year, he also got Jennifer Jason Leigh. Talk about fantasies...

#3 - Tanya Roberts (THE BEASTMASTER)

You gotta love the '80's. Prior to the PG-13 rating, there was a lot of wiggle room regarding how movies were labeled, preserving the R for films that clearly breached morality levels with excessive language or violence. Remember when we didn't think seeing a boob or two would be the end of the world? Before she was Donna's mom, Tanya Roberts gave a lot of young boys their first good ogle at a pair of perky headlights as she bathed in a river and tried to pretend that Marc Singer could act, bless her.

#2 - Helen Mirren (EXCALIBUR)

We're back to boobs. Mirren recently told the press that at the age of 70, she's put away her "love pillows" for good, but what a fantastic run they had. I think most of us got a chance to ogle those puppies when watching the PG-rated tale of King Arthur, as she seduced, connived and made wicked, wicked magic happen in EXCALIBUR. At this rate, Helen is more of a legend than the story ever was.

#1 - Robin Wright (THE PRINCESS BRIDE)

I might have mentioned this before, but I have a hard time determining who is the sexiest bitch in the Wesley/Buttercup matchup. Cary Elwes made girls the world 'round sigh in unison when he would speak those 3 little words, but since you tend to require I be a traditionalist when it comes to these top tens, Robin will win out. It's inconceivable that there might be a better choice for number one.

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