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12.26.2016by: Salacious Crumb

The Top 10 Sexiest Hottie Movie Characters of 2016

2016 is coming to a close, which gives us a perfect excuse to go over our favorite characters and portrayals from hotties on the big screen this year. Since you've mysteriously "clickbaited" your way on over Movie Hotties, we'll just assume you're as interested in the contents of such a list as we are. We've done these in the past (check out our hottest characters for '13, '14 and '15 while you're at it), and they've always lead to some difficult choices and heartbreaking cuts. While this go-around is no different, 2016 did provide us with more "shoe-ins", or obvious choices to go with than usual. Curious to see if you're right about whom those are? Then stop hurting your brain by reading and start clicking, you clickbait-taker!

Honorable Mention: Comeback Babes

As mentioned in the intro, there are naturally some tough choices involved with creating this list. This is why we've decided to create some wiggle room by disqualifying characters who've already made the list in previous years. (In other words, we can only include Black Widow and Mystique so many times.) So consider this a quick wink and a nod to those recurring comic book gals. That said, when it comes to returning characters, Megan Fox's April O'Niel wearing a schoolgirl disguise in TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS takes the pie.

#10: Lenore (Aubrey Plaza) - DIRTY GRANDPA

If you didn't expect to see this spring breaking gerontophile from DIRTY GRANDPA make this list... well, that makes total sense. After all, with NEIGHBORS 2 and MIKE & DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES also being released within the last year, all these Zac Efron dick-joke-a-thons are starting to blend together. In fact, this spot could've gone to both Anna Kendrick and Aubrey's "Alice and Tatiana" from MIKE & DAVE, but then we wouldn't have gotten these bikini shots to look at. Besides, if we're going to give one spot to a reckless party girl, we might as well give it to the one who got on top of Robert De Niro in a G-string. We all know why you took this role, Bobby.

#9: Sara, the Warrior (Jessica Chastain) - THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER'S WAR

Congrats! You've just been reminded that THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER'S WAR was an actual movie that came out in 2016! Apparently, the Snow White prequel/sequel didn't attract the audience it was hoping for, likely because of the lack of "Snow White" herself (a.k.a. Kristen Stewart). 'Tis a damn shame though, because despite the little interest, HUNTSMAN brought on the rare triple-hottie-threat of Charlize Theron, Emily Blunt and Jessica Chastain. Still, this spot goes solely to Chastain's portrayal of the Huntsman's lover Sara, or "the Warrior". We're all aware of Jessica's commendable chops as an actress, but this acid-trippy romance-fantasy seemed to finally let her ass-kicking hottie potential loose. The triad of black leather pants, a metal breastplate and medieval weaponry is always a winner in my book.

#8: DeeAnna Moran (Scarlett Johansson) - HAIL, CAESAR!

You should've known that just because Black Widow has been disqualified from this year's list didn't mean Scarlett Johansson wouldn't make an appearance. For that, you can thank the Coen brothers and their goofy ode to old Hollywood, HAIL, CAESAR! The stunning synchronized swimming actress DeeAnna Moran, who's loosely based on Esther Williams, becomes pregnant during the shooting of one of her films, and is "pretty sure" who the father is. Okay, perhaps that's not the sexiest-sounding of scenarios for a character to be in, but you haven't heard the best part: Scarlett swims around in a mermaid costume! Oh, joy!

#7: Nancy Adam (Blake Lively) - THE SHALLOWS

It seems like every year more half-assed attempts at chilling shark movies get made than ever, yet the only truly great one in existence is still, obviously, JAWS 3-D. While at least THE SHALLOWS wasn't some purposefully cheesy schlock fest that went straight to SyFy, that didn't stop it from containing several elements of a cheesy schlock fest. But what's it matter? We all knew from the get-go that if we paid to go see THE SHALLOWS, we were paying to see Blake Lively in a bikini for 90 minutes, and at least the film delivered in that sense. Chapped lips and whale carcasses aside, you won't get me not to admire some sunburnt Blake in bikini bottoms on the big screen. (Please don't splatter me against the highway, Mr. Reynolds.)

#6: Vanessa/Copycat (Morena Baccarin) - DEADPOOL

For us foul-minded human beings, the long-awaited release of DEADPOOL was one of the most exciting things to happen to movie theaters since booze at the concessions. So of course we have to give a shout out to our guy in red's extremely understanding fiancÚ, Vanessa (a.k.a. Copycat). She may be a little dark, and will turn your childhood sob stories into a friendly competition, but she's got a festive spirit. Seriously, she'll have you looking forward to every holiday imaginable. Plus, if it wasn't for Vanessa's somewhat shady occupation, how else would we have gotten to see Stan Lee disc-jockeying at a strip club?

#5: Valentina Valencia (Penelope Cruz) - ZOOLANDER 2

That Valentina Valencia is so hot right now. The only thing better than a model-turned-actress is an actress playing a model-turned-secret agent, complete with a red leather jumpsuit, which is exactly what we got from Penelope Cruz's character in ZOOLANDER 2. The goofy sequel may have come about 10 years too late, but with the inclusion of someone who's this really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking, we accepted it with an open (and somewhat empty) mind, anyway. Okay, the epic return of Mugatu's haircut also didn't hurt.

#4: Psylocke (Olivia Munn) - X-MEN: APOCALYPSE

Olivia Munn's debut performance as Psylocke in X-MEN: APOCALYPSE may not have given her much to do besides stand around in that sultry outfit looking beddable, but she meets the little criteria it takes to make this list. She's extremely tough and limber, but she can also drop jaws to floor with the power of her purple leotard. Say what you will about the movie itself, at least the costume designers were uncharacteristically generous to us geeky horndogs. No doubt you'll be thanking them when you attend this year's Comic Con.

#3: Gina Thorne (Jessica Alba) - MECHANIC: RESURRECTION

Before we wind on down to our top two, perhaps rather predictable, sexiest movie characters of 2016, let's shift our focus to a summer release that didn't receive as much buzz as others, MECHANIC: RESURRECTION. If you're a hunky, 'roided up alpha male like me, you love a good Jason Statham action flick with a big, comfy 'R' rating slapped on. Just about anyone does, in fact. Stir in the extra ingredient of our beloved Jessica Alba's sandy rear-end in a light blue bikini, and you've got a friend in me.

#2: Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) - BATMAN V SUPERMAN

Despite the series of unfavorable circumstances that seem to have led to this moment, I have to admit it feels good being able to actually include Wonder Woman on this list. The name itself is both iconic and nostalgic, which is exactly why the revival of the character was bound to come with some controversy. When all is said and done, however, Gal Gadot proved she can wear the hell out of a Wonder Woman costume in BATMAN V SUPERMAN. Regardless of whatever actress you believe was snubbed out of getting tossed the keys to the invisible jet, at least Gal was sweet on the eyeballs. You may need an appointment with the Lasso of Truth if you continue to deny that.

#1: Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) - SUICIDE SQUAD

Given the long history of remakes and reboots of movies about "the Batman", many have found it downright baffling that it's taken so long to get a live-action Harley Quinn somewhere in the mix. The Joker's chronically giggling, acrobatic, clingy girlfriend has proven to be quite popular in the animated series and video games, but for some reason they gave us Nora Fries first. When we finally got a glance at Margot Robbie as Harley on set, looking like she violently raided a Hello Kitty store (and probably shanked Monkichi), it was a comforting feeling. Then the first SUICIDE SQUAD trailer popped up, and the idea of putting Harley Quinn on the big screen was shaping up to be even more brilliant than we thought. Unfortunately, as we all know, the movie itself found other ways to disappoint. Still, Margot's performance was commended even by those who didn't love the film, and of course, we can expect plenty more of her in the coming years.



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