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02.28.2018by: Cherry Liquor

The Top 10 Hottest Women of Rebooted Movies

I don't know how many of you are old enough or inspired enough to have watched the original version, but the trailers for DEATH WISH are making me wonder if they accidentally tried to reboot RED instead. The comedic aspect of them is a touch disturbing if you know anything about the source material but I guess murderous white dudes have to come with a smile on their face when trying to get the product sold or their resemblance to our modern day domestic terrorists might actually be too close for comfort. So let's shift away from what is sure to be a huge mess of a reboot and look at some of the fine pieces of work in a few other unoriginal cinematic offerings.

#10 - Elizabeth Olsen (GODZILLA)

Normally, Lizzy would place much higher on a top ten for me since I love her so much but the lackluster nature of the 2014 reboot of the Japanese monster movie franchise was so disappointing, giving her really nothing to do, I can't justify her ranking higher. Olsen can be outstanding when she's in the right project and look like a place holder in everything else.

#9 - Sofia Boutella (THE MUMMY)

Every time she pops up in a project, I am all over it. I even ignored the fact that Tom Cruise irritates me as a general principle in order to get my Sofia fix. And she didn't disappoint, even if the movie as a whole did. If only the big budget flicks could highlight her natural unique beauty rather than pouring special effects makeup all over her.

#8 - Charlize Theron (MAD MAX: FURY ROAD)

Queen Charlize can hardly do wrong. And in MAD MAX: FURY ROAD, she certainly does everything right, from being a warrior hero who saves other women, a random dude and pretty much the future of people living under shitty conditions, all while doing it one-handed. Still, she scared me a touch. Which was the point, but still.

#7 - Julianna Guill (FRIDAY THE 13TH)

Guill has been in a whole lot of trifling crap since she was in the big budget splashy attempt to recapture the FRIDAY THE 13TH magic in 2009 (by completely pissing all over the original story). However, she's still one of the hottest chicks picked up for the early to mid-aughts explosion of rebooting '70's horror, mainly because she's one of the few whose tits were 100% real (and far more pristine than any of the 70's unaltered pairs). Bolt-ons might be perfectly circular mounds of nippled flesh but much like the reboots couldn't capture the novelty of the originals, they can't beat a pair of imperfect natural tittays.

#6 - Becky G (POWER RANGERS)

No offense to Thuy Trang, who was as cute as cute can get on a goofy mid-day kids' show but when those Mighty Morphin people hit the big screen again in 2017, the best thing they did was cast Becky G as their Yellow Ranger. Well, and Elizabeth Banks as the hottest Rita Repulsa we're ever going to see, but it's not as if that was a tough upgrade to make.

#5 - Kate Beckinsale (TOTAL RECALL)

I get it. Some of you think that Becks is completely infallible. But she can't act. She really can't act. She's beautiful and she's invested her money well so that she appears to have not aged much but if I really had to pick between her and the young Sharon Stone, well, the original would beat the reboot each and every time. But for you, I've squeezed her into the middle because I know you would want to get in the middle of her.

#4 - Jessica Biel (TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE)

They have tried and tried and tried to make this horror franchise be something as big as the cult following of the 1974 original but to no avail. Even throwing super hot chicks such as Jessica Biel into a sweaty, cowboy hat wearing, low-slung jeans sporting, see-through white tank top revealing as close to everything that we were going to get from the former 7th Heaven star wasn't enough. And that's some damn heavy artillery right there.

#3 - Margot Robbie (THE LEGEND OF TARZAN)

Sincerely, Margot Robbie is my forever #YaaaassssQueen. While I try my best not to talk in hashtags, at this point it's hard to figure out when Robbie is going to do wrong. Complain about the crappitude of SUICIDE SQUAD all you want, about 75% of the revenue from that film came from people wanting to see her Harley Quinn. Even up against EmoErik in a Loin Cloth, she reigns supreme.

#2 - Amy Adams (MAN OF STEEL, etc)

Amy Adams isn't as perfect as some in terms of traditional beauty but what she lack in a perfectly sloped nose or airbrushed flawless everything else, she makes up for by being a deeply sexy beast. All it took is some opaque water and Supes was all over that feisty news reporter goodness. Margot Kidder & Kate Bosworth even agree.

#1 - Megan Fox (TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES)

Love her, hate her, indifferent about her, it's still hard to deny that out of all the upgrades April O'Neil could have gone through, it couldn't get hotter than Megan Fox. Especially in that little plaid skirt with the Baby, One More Time knotted up white shirt.

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