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03.29.2017by: Cherry Liquor

The Top 10 Beautiful Babes in Miscast Roles

I think it's pretty safe to assume that the live action remake of GHOST IN THE SHELL is not going to make a buttload of bucks. Not only are people in love with the original animates version of the story, it's been a long-running argument that ScarJo is one of the worst casting decisions for the lead in the film, mostly because she's not the correct ethnicity for the part. There are plenty of reasons why the actresses in this list made my worst casting list, but the simple fact is that they really couldn't carry their roles. This time beauty isn't what's going to get a number one ranking.

#10 - Elizabeth Banks (W)

Laura Bush strikes me as a marionette doll come to life. She's wooden, artificial and you get the sense that someone is pulling her strings whenever she moves or speaks. So who do you get to play her in a biopic about Dubya's steadfast wife? How about the woman who first gained fame for grinding up against Steve Carell after trading innuendo regarding bikes & trunks! Not only is Banks too sexy to play Laura, she's too human.

#9 - Mila Kunis (MAX PAYNE)

I haven't played the video game that this movie was based on, so I suppose I don't have the credentials to call her out for being miscast, all I know is that Kunis is far from being a tough chick character. The film was one of the first serious roles that the actress took on after That '70's Show ended and not only does she come off as wanting to get as far away from Marky Mark as she possibly can, that screechy voice and petite frame do not strike fear into anyone's heart. Kunis can definitely do drama, she just can't do dark action roles.

#8 - Natalie Portman (THOR)

It doesn't matter if it was the first or the second THOR that I reference here, Portman was so stilted and awkward in this blockbuster Marvel endeavor, having absolutely zero chemistry with the insanely charismatic Hemsworth. I think there's a reason why people tend to refer to Jaimie Alexander (as Sif, there were more people rooting for her to nab the Asgardian hunk) and Kat Dennings, the character actress side bitch comedic relief than they do Nat when recalling the best moments from the films. The older Portman gets, the more she gives off the vibe of the stuck-up PTA mom that no one wants to publicly disagree with while they all drink wine and talk shit about her behind her back at the book club meetings that she's not invited to.

#7 - Kristen Stewart (SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN)

I will forever defend KStew from those who continue to stubbornly hold on to their opinions that she's one-dimensional as an actress. I think she wasn't made for big budget blockbuster films. While she was perfectly cast as Bella in TWILIGHT, a character as lifeless as the book series was inane, breathing life into a tougher version of the fairy tale princess before the vamp franchise had come to a close was a futile effort at best. Stewart isn't a comedy gal or an action dame. She's moody and subversive and excellent for artsy films where it takes more than hitting a mark and spending 3 hours in the makeup trailer. I often argue that this wasn't a role that she was ill suited for as it was the wrong film for ANYONE to be in (other than Charlize).

#6 - Kate Bosworth (SUPERMAN RETURNS)

I feel bad for Brandon Routh. By all measures, he should have been the most epic Superman for a newer generation. He had that rock-solid, square-jaw, corn-fed, Midwestern awe-shucks look that Christopher Reeve brought to the role in the '70's, cementing the American public's impression of what the Son of Krypton would look like in the flesh. But Routh never stood a chance with a crappy script, the public still thinking of Superman as a advocate for disability & stem cell research rights and a set of co-stars who were wildly out of their depth. Kate Bosworth was just starting to be that super skinny chick, losing all of the sweetness she had when she first appeared in Hollywood, looking washed out as a brunette and unrealistic as a maternal figure. Her career certainly died with this film. At least Routh had the CW to run to.

#5 - Emilia Clarke (TERMINATOR GENISYS)

Carrying around a shoulder full of baby dragons might make the angelic eyed Emilia Clarke look like a badass on Game of Thrones but when it comes to turning in a performance where she's the emotionally damaged mother of the leader of the resistance, it just doesn't work. While I think Clarke did a great job trying to carry out her duties as this particular version of Sarah Connor, the fact that she looks so young and dewy fresh doesn't help the believability factor. Her struggling with a fem-macho delivery is uncomfortable to sit through as well.

#4 - Jessica Alba (THE FANTASTIC FOUR)

It's not that she's Latina or more suited to her natural brunette locks and brown eyes (although the contacts she wears in both of the superhero movies are creepy AF), it's that Alba, like many others on this list, can't act. It's also because she was far too young and too hot for the role of Sue Storm, who in the comic books is much older than Johnny (instead of looking as if she's his little sister) and displays a far more sophisticated level of maturity that Jess is probably never going to grasp.

#3 - Halley Berry (CATWOMAN)

On paper, I absolutely understand the casting here. Gorgeous biracial woman with the kind of body you want to see slinking around town, Berry made sense, to a degree. But Berry can't act and frankly, it takes someone with range and a volume of self-actualization to pull off a cheeseball roll like Selina Kyle. Even Anne Hathaway had that part figured out. But Berry is horribly one-note as an actress, earning an Oscar mainly because she "uglied up" and showed off the body that everyone had been dying to see, not because she dug deep and discovered the profound in MONSTER'S BALL. One of these days, if she ever admits to herself the raving crazy bitch needy manipulator that she is when the camera's not on, perhaps she'll be better when it is.

#2 - Elizabeth Berkley (SHOWGIRLS)

While the girls I knew were arguing over who was more drool worthy - Zack or Slater - on Saved by the Bell, the guys I knew argued that it would be more of a feat to get uptight Jessie into the sack than deal with Kelly's outright dippy hotness. Imagine their soaked sheets when it was announced that Elizabeth Berkley, who played the A-type high schooler on the show, would be taking it ALL off for a splashy film about the Las Vegas dancers who dance, fight and have loud, unrealistic sex in pools. It's not that it wasn't awesome seeing Berkley nude, with her '90's-fit body (before everyone became bobbleheads with xylophone ribs sticking out whenever they lifted their arms), it's just that she was trying so incredibly hard to be something she really wasn't. Would the movie have been less of a joke without her in the lead? Probably. But it also wouldn't have become the number one so-bad-it's-awesome film of all time either.

#1 - January Jones (X-MEN: FIRST CLASS)

Emma Frost has been considered arguably the sexiest character in the X-MEN stables, looking like a supermodel with an only slightly frostier exterior. And Jones definitely has the Victoria's Secret body down but holy hell was she more wooden than icy as Frost. The majority of the film she has an angry constipated look on her face, more boner-shriveling than fear inducing, completely eliminating her primary mutant ability - the power to seduce without needing to reveal her abnormality. Perhaps it was because she was suffering from morning sickness the entire way through, having at this time gotten knocked up by some mystery dude. But I'm blaming it on her utter lack of ability to act.

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