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10.12.2016by: Cherry Liquor

The Top 10 Babes of American Horror Story

Over the past 5 years, we've been blessed with a general embracing of all things dark, wicked and demonically wonderful when it comes to American Horror Story. When I first heard that Ryan Murphy, the notoriously bitchy Tweeter who brought down the reign of terror that was Glee was going to be doing a trippy horror show for FX, I steered way clear. I stayed away for a couple of seasons, in fact, because while the show instantly was embraced for its clever writing and domineering performances, that musical show was too and watching (one half of) one episode of that made me want to sterilize humanity. Eventually, I caved and not only am a fan of Murphy's dark and twisted side, I'm also a fan of his bubbly twisted side in Scream Queens. With the 6th season of AHS being focused on the lost colony of Roanoke really picking up where Freak Show & Hotel started to taper off, I figured it was time to tally up the long list of babes who have visited the series.

The Queen - Jessica Lange

I don't think it's fair to include Jessica Lange in this top ten, not because she's one of the oldest female members of the cast but because if she hadn't been so damn spectacular from the start of what was initially a kinda iffy endeavor, we never would have gotten to season 6 in the first place. And while I'm sad that she exited after Freak Show, I'm grateful to her contribution and I recognize that she's really in a league of her own when it comes to sexy babedom.

Special Mention: Alexandra Daddario

I honestly almost didn't include Daddario here, since she's only been on 3 episodes of one of the weakest installments of the series, but Countess knows you megafans would have been up in arms if I hadn't. I forgot about her even being in Hotel, mainly because she looked so different with that short wig and lack of visible boob. Yes, there is a threesome between her, Gaga and Dandy but it's not enough and sadly not that memorable. If there's more of Alex in the future, I can see her making the upper cut, but for now she's only here because you'd kill me if she wasn't.

#10 - Sarah Paulson

When it comes to American Horror Story, most people divide the series into BJL and AJL (before Jessica Lange and After Jessica Lange) because the powerful presence of the actress seemed to dominate the reputation of the entire program. But when it comes to the most frequently used performer in the series, it's Paulson. When it comes to the actor who's shown the most range over all of the chapters, it's Paulson. From a mystic to a lesbian reporter abused by a serial killer to a tender hearted witch to a two headed circus freak to a heroin addicted street rat of the '90's, there hasn't been a time in the history of the franchise when Paulson hasn't been the one to ultimately bookmark the whole thing.

#9 - Taissa Farmiga

Taissa doesn't have that special something that makes her big sister Vera so intoxicatingly sexy but there is a draw to her that she shares with her sister when it comes to acting. Taissa is the more gentle performer, but just as powerful when given the opportunity. She has an understated believablity to her that allows you to fully submerge yourself in her scenes, even when it comes to zombie boyfriends and supernatural oddities.

#8 - Chloe Sevigny

I know that Chloe Sevigny is a specially cultivated taste when it comes to the hierarchy of Hollywood hotness, what with her droopy-eye expressions and dour turns of the mouth, but all of those things that should make her ugly seem to amp up her sex appeal. Is she beautiful? Not necessarily. But when put in a scene, it's hard to focus on anyone other than her when she's talking. Witchcraft? Nah... well, maybe...

#7 - Lily Rabe

I went back and forth over whether or not to place Lily Rabe higher on this list and eventually settled for a higher part of the bottom half because yes, there are others from the show who are hotter than her, even if she's one of my favorites from the series and the only damn reason I tuned into The Whispers. Rabe has some amazing chops as an actress and is second only to Paulson is the risks she takes with the material she's given (and I love Ryan Murphy for making sure she gets as much as she can). While her demonly possessed nun is still my favorite performance from her, it was as the Stevie Nicks loving gypsy witch Misty Day where she got to show off just how sexy she can be.

#6 - Kate Mara

Guys of the world, I want to tell you that I would understand if you cheated on your wife or girlfriend if the opportunity to do so presented itself in the form of Kate Mara. It wouldn't make it right and I wouldn't have any respect for you if you did, but I would understand. However, I hope you understand that cheaters end up being haunted by the crazy bitch ghost of the hot chick they cheat with, so mind your dicks, fellas.

#5 - Alexandra Breckenridge

I don't think it would be fair if anyone whined about Breckenridge being included on this list while I have Daddario on the outskirts of it. Not only did she make a reappearance during season 3, her saucy minx of a ginger maid was so powerful of an influence on the genre that many chicks I know still cosplay as her for conventions such as Monsterpalooza. Although I have to say that it was a bit unfair to suggest that Frances Conroy was a hideous beast, even with that weird eye and her advanced age. She was a decent looking lady when she was younger.

#4 - Emma Roberts

She had a romantic history with Evan Peters before Ryan Murphy asked her to join the cast of Coven, where she played a teen queen movie star with a bad habit of getting in trouble and a worse habit of possessing supernatural powers. Seeing Roberts under the tutelage of Jessica Lange was a huge source of glee for me and is most likely where she gleaned what she needed to be the sharp tongued, scene stealing Chanel Oberlin in Murphy's next successful series, Scream Queens.

#3 - Connie Britton

Love them redheads, I can't deny. Out of every person who's been on the show, it's Britton that I ache to see return, although I suppose singing country is more profitable. Connie has yet to make an appearance outside of her stint as the tortured wife of a philandering husband who gets knocked up by a ghost, and... well, spoilers and shit if you haven't seen it already.

#2 - Angela Bassett

I was excited to see that Bassett was added to the third season of the series. So much so, that was when I actually began to watch, gobbling up the first two seasons so that I could ogle her in the third. I doubt there would have been any other actress who could have played a voodoo priestess up against Lange's scene chewing witch, making Coven easily one of the more fun (if only for us ladies who loved having it be all about us) installments in the show. Since then, Bassett has sported three tits and been a blaxploitation actress turned vampire and is currently making the dramatic angle of Roanoke work instead of feel trite.

#1 - Lady Gaga

I figure there will be plenty of you who disagree with me on this one, but I'm giving props to Lady Gaga for doing exactly what she was employed to do - up the ante and bring in more viewers. For the 5th season of the show, with Jessica Lange now departed, it was important to have someone who could vamp it up as much as the queen did and while I thought her acting as the Countess fell short, she definitely brought the nudity and outrageousness to a frenzied level. So far we've seen less of her this current season but she's looking to have finally found her groove and judging on the other aspects of her career, she's bound to only get better.

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