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11.14.2012by: Cherry Liquor

The Sexy Ten Spot: Hottest Nick Chicks

This is dedicated to my main Schmoeheart, Razgrizz. He's always been there for me, much like the programming at Nickelodeon has always provided a hotbed for attractive young ladies to get their start in the entertainment/acting/singing biz. Yes, they're young, but compared to the Disney chicks, they're also a helluva lot more interesting as well. Be careful to mind your "I don't know"s and "water" outbursts, or... you know.

Dishonorable Mention - Amanda Bynes (All That, The Amanda Show)

Normally, Amanda Bynes would have scored a lot higher on my list but the fact that she keeps getting high in her car is a major let-down. As a local girl (in respect to where I live) and a great young comedian, Bynes knocked it out of the park recently in EASY A, proving that she's still talented. But with her multiple DUI/DWI arrests and being caught smoking weed in her car, not to mention the current decline in her grown-up beauty, I've got to make a mention and point out the transgressions that kept her from ranking.

10 - Christian Serratos (Ned's Declassified)

Helping to tie this week's Sexy Ten Spot into current pop culture, let us not forget that TWILIGHT SAGA minor star, Christian Serratos, got her start on the Nick show, "Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide," as the snotty girl that Ned has the hots for. A great looking brunette (with little great acting talent) who has screwed up her looks recently by going blonde, Serratos just scrapes up on the IMHO list.

9 - Michelle Trachtenberg (Adventures of Pete & Pete)

I think that I'd have to go with the fact that I liked "The Adventures of Pete & Pete" enough to remember that Mich-T was a member of the show as a little girl. It's hard to connect the luscious woman she's grown into with that sprite of a girl she was, but the plain truth is Michelle got a good start in acting from being cast on a Nickelodeon show.

8 - Miranda Cosgrove (iCarly)

It wasn't just "iCarly" that Miranda Cosgrove did for the orange channel, she was also the annoying little sister on "Drake & Josh," something that reminds me she was the annoying little girl in SCHOOL OF ROCK. Miranda has been growing into her looks as she's come of age and I can't discount that she's clearly a hard-working actress making her way.

7 - Melissa Joan Hart (Clarissa Explains it All)

For me, this is the girl who started it all and doesn't look a thing like she did when she was a kid. Melissa Joan Hart is on some stupid show with another '90's icon, Blossom's brother Joey, and a 3-times over MILF as of 2012, but it was way back in 1991 that she paved the way for the channel to start what became a positive trend of shows with strong, smart and funny leading females.

6 - Emma Roberts (Unfabulous)

I never really got behind the appeal of Emma Roberts when she was on "Unfabulous." I caved to the pressure of believing she was just another blip on the nepotism radar but as Emma has grown older and taken on roles in movies like IT'S KIND OF A FUNNY STORY, I find myself liking her a lot more and respecting her as an actress. Not my personal cup of tea looks-wise but I hold talent in high regard.

5 - Ariana Grande (Victorious)

While there are a slew of hot young thangs on "Victorious," making it hard to figure out which ones should make the cut and which ones don't cut the sitcom mustard, I'm pushing for Ariana because she's so darling as Cat on the show. That and she really knows how to sell herself through Twitter and Instagram, now that she's over 18.

4 - Lindsey Shaw (Ned's Declassified)

Right about now, you're probably thinking that I bonked my head but as I'm writing this I'm calculating those who were good on their shows, those who went on to other great projects and those I just plain like. Shaw is one of the last group, seeing as how one weekend a few years back, laid up sick as a dog and watch NDSSG caused me to fall for Lindsey as Moze, watch her grow from a child to a teen to hot young woman now gaining indie horror cred.

3 - Victoria Justice (Victorious)

Perhaps I fooled all of you by putting Vicky J in the column's header image. Perhaps not. While Victoria Justice is absolutely breathtaking in terms of beauty, I'm not all that terribly wooed by her as an actress and her singing career filled with breathy pop tunes leaves me cold. She's hot enough to make me place her high on my list, but when I'm honest with myself, I can't give her number one if I go with my gut.

2 - Jewel Staite (Are You Afraid of the Dark?)

We're in the midst of celebrating the 10th anniversary year of "Firefly," did everyone know that? Did anyone else besides me have a major thing for "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" the wicked little series that Nickelodeon put out about ghost stories back in 1991, trumping the 1995 start of "Goosebumps"? So then, if you know the minor trivia for Joss' space western, surely you know that Jewel Staite, our sweet Kaylee, appeared around a couple of the campfires, right?

1 - Jennette McCurdy (iCarly)

You're probably going to lambast me for my choice and you're totally free to do so. The fact that Jennette McCurdy is one of the hardest working and most eclectic of the recent Nickelodeon girls is one part of the reason why I placed her at number one (she's on "iCarly," has a career singing country music which honestly doesn't suck and works consistently as a voice-over actress as well). The other part is that as Sam on that show, I can't think of another sidekick character the network has put out who has outshined the lead actress so thoroughly and completely. That's talent. And she's just cute as a f*ck button. That most certainly adds to it.

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