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11.24.2010by: Randy the Ram

The Sexy Six: Thank you Natalie Portman

Over the years a lot of hotties have come and gone, their faces fade as the years go by. Sometimes we grow tired of them; sometimes they just grow old (but remain talentless). Once in a blue moon, an actress rises from the ashes to blend talent and beauty in her projects and many of us knew Natalie Portman was one of them. Since she played young Matilda in LÉON: THE PROFESSIONAL, we knew she was here to stay. She’s all grown up now and until recently she’s been starting to shed that cute girl persona and beginning to show us the side we’ve all desired to see, the naked, girl kissing, sexy side and for that I am grateful.

So this Thanksgiving I'd like to give thanks for Natalie Portman. Is she an angel? You may ask. Personally, I think that's a pretty close assessment.

Thank you Natalie Portman...

6 ...for being talented

I know some people might find Natalie Portman bland but considering her track record, she's managed to mix sensuality, cuteness and a slew of emotions within various genres without loosing a beat and keeping her credibility safe. She survived the STAR WARS’ prequels trilogy and she was actually one of the key elements I’d look forward to, whether it was her wardrobe, as eye candy or as one of the actors who didn’t suck.


A very merry special thanks to YOUR HINEY Ms. Portman, it actually makes various appearances on this list.

Her bum is essentially the selling point of the fantasy-cum-stoner comedy YOUR HIGHNESS, it really is MAGIC motherf*cker and I'd be dammed if that behind doesn't warrant buying a ticket. I'm still not convinced of Danny McBride’s comedic talents but at this point, I'd watch anything with Natalie Portman, even if she were to star in something like a rom-com with Asston Kutcher. I'd be right there front & center.

Wait what? That really is happening? Shit... now I need to see that ass again. in Slow-Mo please!


Wes Anderson made a prologue to DARJEELING LIMITED called HOTEL CHEVALIER and it has become more memorable than the feature film, especially due to Natalie's clothes free involvement. Sure there’s some talky talk here and there, a little “WesAndersonesque” moments, but in the end it’s all about Natty P showing some skin. 99% of those who saw it just wanted to get a glimpse of Portman in her birthday suit which she later ended up regretting, it was the moment Natalie learned the internet is filled with pervs.

p>Next up, some lesbian action.

3 ...for BLACK SWAN

It’s just not the fact that Portman has some steamy scenes in BLACK SWAN, especially one where she's interlocking lips with Mila Kunis (get out of my head Aronofsky!). I’m actually grateful to see another high caliber project with her, whether she’ll end up as a crazy as hell character or we’ll end up being mind raped by the genius that is Darren Aronofsky. Who would of thought that a bunch of dudes and lots of nerds & geeks would get excited about a ballet film.

2 ...for CLOSER

I'd like to thank Portman for making the choice of literally striping away her cute & innocent demeanor in order to play a mature and f*cking sexy stripper. Curiously, her high caliber projects involve her kissing women or stripping. Whatever the case may be, it’s all good. CLOSER was the film where we saw that Natalie Portman wasn’t that little scrawny kid we saw hanging around Jean Reno anymore, she was now a woman playing one of her more mature roles to date and going head to head with some incredible Hollywood talent. Not only did she held her own but she also oozed raw sexuality and mysterious enchantment.

1. ...for being awesome.

As much as I drool and slobber over the pics, the magazine spreads, the leg spreads & butter melting ass focusing movie scenes, the reason I have Natalie in such high regard is not just because of her looks, but because she's the whole package. Cute, passionate, caring and intelligent (she has a f*cking Harvard degree for god’s sake and she knows like a hundred languages), she doesn’t seem to take herself that seriously and apparently she also raps.

Every time I see myself questioning Natalie Portman, I look at that video, it just never gets old.

So once again thank you Natalie Portman and thank you all for reading.

Remember, this is just some horndog's opinion and now it's your turn, tell us if you agree or not and what hottie are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? I hope y'all have a good one.



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