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02.02.2011by: Randy the Ram

The Sexy Six: Sexiest beach scenes

This edition of The Sexy Six is for all you East Coaster who are stuck in the cold, seeing white all day. I'm betting you want to tear off the eyes of that stupid groundhog. Well worry no more, melt that snow away as we'll be taking you in the 6 to midnight plane to the warmest beaches with the hottest babes as I recount the 6 Sexiest Beach Scenes in movies.

HONORABLE MENTION: Beach Blanket Bingo Intro

Back in the 60s everything was so simple, a time full of ignorant bliss, nothing to fear and times were a changin’ maaan! Oh yeah and movies were all about shaking your booty at the beach. There's just something so alluring about chicks wagging their behinds to some boppin’ beach tunes and seriously, how can you go wrong with a movie titled BEACH BLANKET BINGO.

6. Charlie’s first angel

One thing the CHARLIE’S ANGELS movie sort of had going was the eye candy moments, unfortunately the three leads were so annoying it was far from sexy, the sequel definitely took things “full throttle” especially by preparing Demi Moore’s comeback while she screamed, “get out of my way” with her body. Cameron Diaz has a nice bikini figure but Demi was all “each day you get older you’re farther from looking this good”. Oh snap!

5. Trachtenberg takes a Eurotrip to womanhood

EUROTRIP marks the moment when we saw Michelle Trachtenberg all grown up. Just as poor man’s David Spade was surprised to see she had a well formed woman in front of her, we we’re certain this was no longer the little girl from HARRIET THE SPY. It was a sight to behold and to rewind and rewind again, unfortunately the scene is sandwiched between a lot of male asses but for your bravery you will get a bonus scene from Michelle ma belle.

4. Russ Meyer presents: breasts!

Catfight! Just the name “Russ Meyer” alone warrants some juicy breast in your face goodness and this scene from COMMON LAW CABIN is no different as the sexploitation master gets two chesty ladies, Babette Bardot (love the name) and Alaina Capri, to affront each other while wearing bikinis. When I grow up, I wanna be just like Mr. Meyer, better yet, I'd love to be Russ Meyer’s wiener. That is what I'd truly like to be, 'cause if I were Russ Meyer’s wiener, every boobalicious chick would be in love with me.

3. Dead, alive, wet, scantly clad, whatever.

Don’t act like you’ve never seen this DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE before, sure it may have come out straight to DVD in the states and no matter how awful the movie is, it still has minimally clothed bombshells roundhouse kicking each other, like in this scene where Christie (Holly Valance) and Helena (Sarah Carter) get into a catfight on a beach in the middle of the pouring rain. Gratuitous butt shot for the win! It’s like the sequel to the above Russ Meyer clip.

2. Kelly Brook sex scene

The ever deliciousness that is Kelly Brook manages to creep in once more into these lists and no, it’s not her lesbian underwater ballet from PIRANHA 3D (unfortunately it lacks the “beach” part), but on the other hand (my first hand is kinda busy) it’s still a very steamy clip as KBrook does the sex thing with some guy on a beach in this NSFW sex scene from the generally corny movie THREE, but you know, if you’re a fan of her Brookness you should definitely check the whole flick out.

1. A James Bond Triple Play

Well what do you know? It’s a triple tie all thanks to James Bond. Kudos Mr. Bond, I don’t expect you to talk but I do expect you to be the most legendary ladies man that ever fictionally lived. One of these days I shall totally dedicate a list to you sir, but for now lets focus on the theme. You cannot talk about a sexy beach scene without mentioning Ursula Andress’ coquettish entrance as Honey Ryder in DR. NO. Her emergence in that white and wet bikini is a classic hottie scene that has been followed by numerous homages.

Part of the legacy of James Bond has given way to many satires, one of the most notorious was the Austin Powers flicks that spoofed everything from the gadgets to the villains and of course some sexy girls had to be featured, in THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME Heather Graham gets to do the Honey Ryder thing with an almost identical bikini complete with belt and knife. The clip is very short because I didn’t want any boners killed with the image of a Mike Meyers with chest hair in the same bikini. You’re still getting some very sexy 17 seconds though.

And finally cumming full circle is Halle Berry’s appearance in DIE ANOTHER DAY. Her character, Jinx, emerges from the ocean like a mermaid with an air fetish. That’s one of the things that DIE ANOTHER DAY did right, while they changed things up a bit with that bright orange bikini, the scene is still a very hot homage to the Honey Ryder scene. Oh how I wish I were a belt and knife right now as they once again make an appearance as they dangle from Berry’s lickable hips and damn, girl sure can wear a two piece!



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