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03.07.2012by: Randy the Ram

The Sexy Six: Motorboatable Babes

Let me ask you one question. Why are you here? What's the number one reason you visit The nifty page layouts? The quirky writing? If I had to guess I would say it has something to do with two of God's greatests creations. BOOBS! I was going to do a "best boobs" list sooner or later but I still want to thank those fabulous schmoes at MFC for taking it to the next level with the motorboating element. So today we shall dive right into major cleavage territory as we celebrate those ladies that make us wish we could have just a couple of seconds to stick our noses between their glorious plumpy breasts and go bRbrbrbrbrbbbbbb.

6. Salma Hayek

A classic hottie to start things off, so rev those motors and start your boating! I'm not a big fan of Salma Hayek but as a fan of boobies I am aware of what all the fuss is about, she has the grandest chichis to ever come south of the border. They were responsible for launching a career and thank god for that as we can get the full glimpse of her magic balloons in a lot of her movies.

5. Sofia Vergara

Oh dios mio! It seems that with every passing moment Sofia Vergara keeps getting hotter and hotter and she knows this because every time she pulls out something new from her wardrobe it makes her breasts stick out more and more.

If you're not watching "Modern Family" because it's hilarious, I'd advise you to at least watch it for the eye candy.

4. Christina Hendricks

Every time someone says "motorboat" Christina Hendricks gets a slight case of ticklish breasts. Even though she represents what motorboating is all about she didn't get a higher placing because in the end this was a very hard list to sort. Believe me, things got VERY hard around here. Just look at those godly possessions of her, you'd probably have the best nap if she'd let you take a snooze between them.

3. Scarlett Johansson

This is my all time favorite lady and her gropeable boobs might have something to do with that fact, she may not have the biggest rack out of today's selections but I guess my own personal bias is why she has ended up in the top 3, whatever the case, if you don't feel like putting your face between Mindy & Ingrid (yes, that's how I like to call Johansson's dirty pillows) then I ask that you exit the premises and leave your man card at the front desk. Unless you're a lady, then by all means stay and tell us whose boobs you find most motorboatable.

2. Kelly Brook

Kelly hasn't been in a lot of movies and much less quality ones, but in my opinion all she has to do is show up in a bikini (which they should rename to a brookini) and I'll be a happy camper popping up tents left and right. Speaking of popping, she also tends to wear bras that seem to push the limit of her bosoms, this is not a complaint, au contraire, the closer they are to my face the better.

1. Diora Baird

All hail the motorboat queen! Diora's fame levels are mostly dependent of the size of her rack but I like the fact that she's also a very beautiful individual but for today we will focus all of our attention on those mountains of hope, the hills of male insanity and lust, motorboating is only the start of what I would love to do to them jugs (the words "tit" and "f*ck" come to mind).



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