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12.23.2013by: Salacious Crumb

Sexiest Hottie Movie Characters of 2013!

If you're here, chances are you have a fondness for movies, or perhaps even more so, a fondness for hotties. We like to keep tabs on all sorts of hot actresses and their public appearances, photoshoots, etc., but we rarely ever get to focus on the characters they play in the movies. Who are these characters? They have personalities too, y'know? There were a lot of memorable hottie roles for the picking throughout this year in cinema, some of which we simply can't let go unrecognized. So without further adieu, please enjoy our Top 10 Sexiest Hottie Movie Characters of 2013!

Honorable Mention: Linda Lovelace (Amanda Seyfried) in Lovelace

This is going up as an honorable mention for two reasons. One, the movie's based on real-life DEEP THROAT star Linda Lovelace. Two, it took the flick a long while to get released and when it finally did, no one knew about it. You haven't heard the best part yet. We get to see a generous amount of Amanda Seyfried… topless! Sure, given the subject matter, there's also a lot of drama, drugs, screaming, crying and so on. But still… Amanda Seyfried naked, you guys! Joy to the world! Okay, moving on...

#10: Theodora (Mila Kunis) in Oz The Great And Powerful

Yeah, I realize the incongruity of marking down The Wicked Witch of the West on the list of "sexiest" movie characters. And even though I could make the argument that Mila Kunis still looks pretty bangable in prosthetics and green make-up, I'm clearly referring to Theodora before she turns wicked. She starts out as an innocent but naive good witch who happens to enjoy wearing leather pants. Well, at least we enjoyed watching her wear them.

#9: Mako Mori (Rinko Kikuchi) in PACIFIC RIM

Mako could kick my ass, she could kick your ass, but there's something about her uninterrupted desire to battle monsters in a giant robot suit that reaches out to my inner-child. Granted, there were plenty of things about PACIFIC RIM that went way over my head (or just didn't make sense), but with Rinko Kikuchi in that jumpsuit, it was easy to get distracted. I suppose Rinko plays this character off as a little more cute, or downright beautiful rather than "sexy". Still, I thought she deserved a little recognition.

#8: Dahl (Katee Sackhoff) in Riddick

Katee Sackhoff actually starred in a few films this year, but her most notable character was Dahl, the bosomy bounty hunter in RIDDICK. It's always nice to see the "Battlestar Galactica" hottie back at work again, especially in an outfit like this. The peculiar lack of armor on her chest made RIDDICK a much more appreciated viewing experience. Katee's naughty-turned-nice performance inspired us to do many things, one of which rhymes with her last name (I bet you've never heard that one before).

#7: Rose O'Reilly (Jennifer Aniston) in We're The Millers

There's something about a wig-wearing stripper and her willingness to help you smuggle drugs across the Mexican border that really reaches out to me as perfect girlfriend material. That's also the premise of Rose O'Reilly played by Jennifer Aniston in WE'RE THE MILLERS. She has a heart of gold and the ability to break you out of tough situation with her hypnotic pole-dancing techniques. Think what you want about Aniston in the real world, but Rose is stone-cold fox and she didn't date John Mayer.

#6: Miss San Antonio (Amber Heard) in Machete Kills

Don't get distracted by the cleavage and the hairspray… it's part of her cover. I can count all the good things to come out of MACHETE KILLS on one hand. Amber Heard's red hot portrayal of Miss San Antonio is one of them. As much as I giggled like a school girl when I first saw Sofia Vergara's bullet-spraying juggs, I was much more impressed by the all-around sexiness of Heard's character, even she is sort of a backstabbing c*nt. At least I know she'd be less likely to bite my balls off. Yikes.

#5: Tauriel (Evangeline Lilly) in The Hobbit: Desolation Of Smaug

Evangeline Lilly was the male movie-goer's answer to Zachary "Spock Ears" Quinto this year, with her portrayal of Tauriel in THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG. She's beautiful, she's brave, and she'll give you Mirkwood. Plus it brought a hug sigh of relief to see a new female in the HOBBIT franchise who isn't Cate Blanchett or Liv Tyler. Looks like Katniss has some competition as far as being the hottest babe with a bow (and with a love-triangle dilemma. Oy yoy yoy…).

#4 (Tie): Clara and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) in Byzantium and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

It was a real yin and yang of career choices for Gemma Arterton this year, playing the vampire Clara in BYZANTIUM, and playing the witch-decapitating Gretel in HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS. One is a bloodsucking creature who hunts down humans, the other is a human who hunts down flesh-eating creatures. Both of them, however, are all kinds of sexy, and it was simply impossible to decide between the two. Clara, for whom Gemma uses her lovely English accent, has mastered in the art of seduction in order to keep a roof over her and her sister Eleanor's heads. For Gretel, Gemma displays her killer sexy American accent, and is a genuine blood-spilling badass. And if I dare mention it again, she sports some awesome leather pants.

#3: Barbara Sugarman (Scarlett Johansson) in Don Jon

Barbara may be a bit of a nag, but you can't be too nitpicky when you're hiding a serious chronic addiction to porn. And when you're dating someone who looks like Scarlett Johansson, do you really need to view porn ever again in your life? Even if it's only for two weeks, that single boob-grab which ended the relationship should be enough to satisfy your quenches for decades. Anyway, while she may be a bit selfish and high-maintainance, she's still a flirtatiously foxy, fun ride for a while. And hey, at least your parents dig her.

#2 (Tie): Rosalyn Rosenfeld and Sydney Prosser in American Hustle

Another tie! I think for obvious reasons. When you think of ladies who hustle, you think of gals who use sex to provoke your judgement to get what they want. That, in a sense, is the way Rosalyn (Amy Adams) and Sydney (Jennifer Lawrence) do business in AMERICAN HUSTLE. It's alway great to receive a reminder from Amy Adams exactly how hot she is with a performance like this. Thanks, Amy. Lawrence has obviously had a hugely successful year, but this conniving, seductive hottie character is looking to be a stand-out moment for her, or any actress, in 2013.

#1: The girls of Spring Breakers

Some of the best eye-candy of the year came from Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, and Rachel Korine in SPRING BREAKERS. Hell, even James Franco's "Alien" can join this list! Harmony Korine's return to the director's chair may be a bit unsettling, and even a bit pervy, but it resulted in some memorable and wildly sexy scenes. As far as the delivery of massive amounts of T&A, while at the same time delivering some very interesting performances (in a good way), it hasn't been done this way in a long time, or perhaps ever. At the very least, this movie gave us well over a year of some of the most titillating promo posters ever seen by human eyes.



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