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I wish I could have had Kate Beckinsale at my Memorial Day party

05.26.2015by: Droz

Producer Joel Silver had himself a star-studded Memorial Day party this weekend, inviting all kinds of folks to come and spend the day not doing much memorializing at all, just like most Americans. It's kind of funny how many stars flocked to this thing, probably less for the BBQ and more for the networking potential. It's still orders of magnitude better than my Memorial Day festivities, which were overshadowed by the persistent sense of uncomfortable tension that seems to pervade all my family's get togethers. I know somewhere there's a family that actually enjoys being together and it's probably Kate Beckinsale's family.

Why wouldn't they enjoy it? They can just sit around the BBQ grill and look at each other being beautiful and perfect all day long. No one need say or do anything that pisses off anyone else. Just bask in their endless eye candy goodness. I wouldn't want to be a brother-in-law or distant relation at Kate's family shindigs though. How could that guy ever hope to keep his technical familial relationship to Kate in mind when she's strutting around a pool in a bikini? I'd have to do a Judge Reinhold FAST TIMES sojourn to the bathroom every half hour, just to keep myself in a constant refractory period. That's only way I could get through that.

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Source: NSFW

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