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Hottie Report Card: Rachel Weisz

06.16.2017by: Droz

It's fitting they should cast Rachel Weisz in a movie called MY COUSIN RACHEL. Fortunately Rachel isn't a cousin of mine. Though if she were I'd probably feel about her the same way I do now, with only the occasional guilty afterthought. Rachel has been pretty good about diversifying her movie roles, but like many an English actress she had to come back to the historical drama trough at some point. Brit actresses no doubt have to accept that movies about sexed up Brits from the past will become the cornerstone of their future employment. They are rather hopelessly in love with their history over there. Fortunately there's more to Rachel than that. Simply put, she's all I could ever ask for in a woman. I'd be tempted to say she's everything I love about English hotties, if it weren't for the fact that she's Austro-Hungarian by ethnicity. Whatever she is and wherever she comes from, Rachel is top notch. That probably means a good Hottie Report Card awaits. How do you grade Rachel?

It's pretty amazing when you realize the pics posted here represent about a decade or more in the life of Rachel. Yet in all that time, she hasn't changed much at all. She was adorable in the earliest pic here, she's adorable in the most recent. In fact, time and age have only made Rachel more beautiful. She's always had the perfect face for sympathetic characters. It's hard not to feel for what she goes through in the course of a movie, particularly if it's bad. You don't ever want to see a face like Rachel's in pain. She's much better smiling and happy, or flush with desire.

I can't say Rachel's boobs are my very favorite of all the many boobs out there. On their own merits they're good - not great, but acceptable. I find there are different ways to look at boobs. Some are inherently excellent no matter what. I can think of a few boobs which represent the only virtue their owners possess. Then there are boobs like Rachel's, which might otherwise get a middling "B" grade, were they not hers. Being connected to the rest of Rachel makes them far more valuable. Think of the t-shirt or the toaster that sells for thousands just because someone famous owned it. Same principle.

There are probably a number of people out there who didn't understand the true drawing power of Rachel's ass until she had that awkward sex/nude scene in ENEMY AT THE GATES. This was by no means her first nude scene, but it was one of the first to be widely seen. It is also one of the best moments for her ass. I don't know about you, but one of my lasting fantasies from there on has been Rachel desperately pulling her pants off so the two of us can go at it like rabbits. The scene below, from the historical epic AGORA, is also a nice example of how good Rachel brings it here.

You don't have to go far to find a more tight, rock hard hottie out there than Rachel. Just look around here and you'll find all kinds of young things running around strutting their stuff. Rachel might not be one of those women anymore, but she impresses nonetheless by still bringing all the fit goodness you'd ever need via her 47-year-old body. How many people can go around in a bikini at that age and not look ridiculous? No one I know of in that age range. Rachel gets paid a lot of money to stay in such shape, but the fact she can do it at all is quite literally outstanding.

I wont lie and say I was just as smitten with Rachel back in her early days. To be honest, I found her kind of annoying in movies like the first MUMMY movie and things earlier. Somewhere around the turn of the millennium all that started to change. My appreciation for what Rachel had to offer as an actress in the first decade of the 21st century, advanced at the same pace as Hollywood's increasing desire to cast her. By the time she made THE FOUNTAIN, I was a full on Rachel disciple. Nothing has changed there since.

Most of the time with this category, it's more about what celebs don't do as people and personalities. Rachel has voiced her opinions here and there in the media, though not in a way I find arrogant or rude. She seems to me like confident woman, not neurotic or prone to compensating. She has a long track record of professionalism in her field and when not doing things related to that, maintains a healthy private life. Plus, she's married to James Bond. How cool is that? I think it's clear - Rachel is awesome.

Check out our previous Hottie Report Cards...

"A" Students: Salma Hayek, Jennifer Aniston, Paula Patton, Gemma Arterton, Amber Heard, Lacey Chabert, Jaimie Alexander, Gillian Jacobs, Natalie Dormer, Amy Adams, Alison Brie, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Brook, Kate Mara, Eva Green, Carla Gugino, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Lawrence, Charlize Theron, Olivia Munn, Zoe Saldana, Rosario Dawson, Olga Kurylenko, Olivia Wilde, Kaley Cuoco, Hayley Atwell, Lauren Cohan, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, Victoria Justice, Maria Menounos, Mila Kunis, Rosamund Pike, Margot Robbie, Nina Agdal, Shailene Woodley, Amanda Seyfried, Christina Hendricks, Jessica Alba, Ashley Greene, Charlotte McKinney, Kate Beckinsale, Aly Michalka, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Morena Baccarin, Katy Perry, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Hilary Duff, Sara Jean Underwood, Emmy Rossum, Minka Kelly, Emma Stone, Marion Cotillard, Melissa Benoist, Ali Larter, Demi Lovato, Elle Fanning, Brie Larson, Monica Bellucci.

"B" Students: Sandra Bullock, Alice Eve, Jenna Fischer, Lena Headey, Kristen Bell, Anna Kendrick, Cobie Smulders, Rashida Jones, Danielle Harris, Nicole Beharie, Ellie Kemper, Michelle Trachtenberg, Evangeline Lilly, Meagan Good, Gabrielle Union, Yvonne Strahovski, Sarah Hyland, Emily Browning, Imogen Poots, Tina Fey, Karen Gillan, Rebecca Hall, Elizabeth Banks, Annet Mahendru, Emily Blunt, Emilia Clarke, Moon Bloodgood, Danielle Fishel, Keri Russell, Cameron Diaz, Rachel McAdams, Megan Fox, Aubrey Plaza, Emily Ratajkowski, Michelle Monaghan, Adrianne Palicki, Nicole Kidman, Kat Dennings, Keira Knightley, Allison Williams, Jena Malone, Rose Byrne, Maggie Grace, Jennifer Lopez, Sienna Miller, Jordana Brewster, Felicity Jones, Blake Liveley, Elizabeth Olsen, Reese Witherspoon, Brittany Snow, Jennette McCurdy, Ronda Rousey, Bryce Dallas Howard, Alyssa Milano, Rhona Mitra, Natalie Martinez, Ashley Benson, Elizabeth Gillies, Odette Yustman, Kristen Stewart, Alicia Vikander, Kate Bosworth, Juno Temple, Zooey Deschanel, Kirsten Dunst, Bella Thorne, Deborah Ann Woll, Daisy Ridley, Sophie Turner, Emily VanCamp, Selena Gomez, Sarah Silverman, Hailee Steinfeld, Katharine McPhee, Kate Hudson, Haley Bennett, Gal Gadot, Jessica Biel, Jamie Chung, Emma Roberts, Cara Delevingne, Emma Watson, Brooklyn Decker.

"C" Students: Kristen Wiig, Katherine Heigl, Dakota Johnson, Iggy Azalea, Miley Cyrus.

"D" Students: Khloe Kardashian.

Source: Movie Hotties

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