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Hottie Report Card: Maria Menounos

01.30.2015by: Salacious Crumb

As expected, there was quite a divide between lovers and haters in the case of Jennifer Lopez's report card last week, with approximately 54% being in favor of the aged but still classic booty queen. This week's hottie should be another treat for those same large butt connoisseurs, as our long-beloved Maria Menounos will be taking the chair (and what lucky chair it is). Now's a better time than ever to grade the "Live from E!" host with the most, since there aren't really any hottie-driven movies opening this week, yet so many award ceremonies and events are in circulation, namely the Super Bowl. You may recall Maria sporting a Giants-themed string bikini after their win in 2011, so who knows what shenanigans she may be up to this year? Until we find out, let's put on our ogling caps and get to studying this fine piece of work.

Maria never fails to put on a big smile whenever some random dude with a camera jumps out of the bushes when she's walking towards the ATM. This is an attitude I typically love, especially when the smile is coming from someone as attractive as Maria. If anything throws me off, it's the simple fact that she has that same face almost every single time I see her, whether on the boob tube or in magazines. She's like a walking, talking TV Guide... that you wanna give a bone to.

The epic power of Menounos's derriere is pretty universally agreed upon by the masses. If there were a pie chart explaining what features have made Maria so popular over the years, not only would this fill the whole pie, but you'd probably need another chart. Perhaps the best part of the phenomenon is her self-awareness of the matter, having quite an impressive collection in "over-the-shoulder" photographs. So long as she's fine with us looking, we'll continue looking. And if releases a statement saying she's not fine with it... we'll still probably look.

Unlike the last subject, I'm not entirely sure what the consensus is with Maria's mammaries, but I dig 'em quite a bit. These footballs are not deflated in my opinion. There's so much fuss made about the opposite side of Maria's body, sometimes a picture (like the one below) is necessary for a reminder. She doesn't show them off a whole lot, but when she does, she makes an outstanding presentation. After all, isn't that the truly important thing?

I've seen Disney princesses with waists less slender, and hips less tender than Maria's. Sure, magazines are known for photoshopping their pictures to hell, but if you check out the "behind the scenes" of Maria's photoshoots, you'll see she has the body of a saint. According to her, she keeps her stomach tight by having her friends and family punch her. Whatever works! Supposedly the anticipation of the punch causes her to flex her stomach muscles. I really hope Chris Brown isn't reading this right now.

Aside from 2005's FANTASTIC FOUR and Jaimie Kennedy's KICKIN' IT OLD SKOOL, there's not a whole lot worth mentioning in Maria's filmography. Of course, she's much more known for being the co-host of "Extra!" for several years, and generally being one of televisions go-to girls for interviewing celebrities at big events. She's also dipped her toes in the WWE business, but I'm sure you already knew that. Currently, she's hosting "Live from E!" on the E! network, which doesn't stretch too far from her usual schtick, but that's fine. She seems comfortable doing what she's doing, so I'll let her off the hook so long as she keeps the photoshoots coming.

Most of what we know about Maria comes from interviews, and considering she's a professional interviewer, who really knows what she's like behind closed doors? However, I'm leaning more towards the probability that Maria doesn't desire as much privacy as the average person, what with her constantly putting herself on live television and all. On top of that, she's a frequent user of social media, so I really think she just feels more comfortable in the outside world. This is obviously a good thing, but sometimes I wonder if that's what caused her face to be permanently stuck in "smile mode".

Check out our previous Hottie Report Cards...

"A" Students: Salma Hayek, Jennifer Aniston, Paula Patton, Gemma Arterton, Amber Heard, Lacey Chabert, Jaimie Alexander, Gillian Jacobs, Natalie Dormer, Amy Adams, Alison Brie, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Brook, Kate Mara, Eva Green, Carla Gugino, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Lawrence, Charlize Theron, Olivia MunnZoe Saldana, Rosario DawsonOlga Kurylenko, Olivia Wilde, Kaley Cuoco, Hayley Atwell, Lauren Cohan, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, Victoria Justice.

"B" Students: Sandra Bullock, Alice Eve, Jenna Fischer, Lena Headey, Kristen Bell, Anna Kendrick, Cobie Smulders, Rashida Jones, Danielle Harris, Nicole Beharie, Ellie Kemper, Michelle Trachtenberg, Evangeline Lilly, Meagan Good, Gabrielle Union, Yvonne Strahovski, Sarah Hyland, Emily Browning, Imogen Poots, Tina Fey, Karen Gillan, Rebecca Hall, Elizabeth Banks, Annet Mahendru, Emily Blunt, Emilia Clarke, Moon Bloodgood, Danielle Fishel, Keri Russell, Cameron Diaz, Rachel McAdams, Megan Fox, Aubrey Plaza, Emily Ratajkowski, Michelle Monaghan, Adrianne Palicki, Nicole Kidman, Kat Dennings, Keira Knightley, Allison Williams, Jena Malone, Rose Byrne, Maggie Grace, Jennifer Lopez.

"C" Students: Kristen Wiig, Katherine Heigl.

"D" Students: Khloe Kardashian.

Extra Tidbit: How would YOU rate this hottie, professor?

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