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Hottie Report Card: Kirsten Dunst

01.15.2016by: Droz

I wasn't expecting to watch any of this year's Golden Globes show. Not watching is my usual approach to most awards shows. But I just happened to catch a glimpse of Kirsten Dunst in her now famous titty dress, getting interviewed about her nomination for Fargo. That was a damn remote-dropper situation right there. It's been a long time since she was so keen on getting folks to check her out that way. But then Kirsten always did have a knack for drawing the eye when she wanted to. That award show cleavage was a nice return to form for Kirsten, but can it help her out in our patented hottie evaluation scale? Let's get into it and see.

Kirsten from back in her early SPIDER-MAN days would have deserved a much bigger score here, had we been getting into this back then. It's a vast exaggeration to say that Kirsten isn't attractive anymore, but she also isn't what she once was. That's not necessarily a matter of the years compounding either. A fame fatigue seemed to be a malaise shared by most of the principals in that first Spider-Man iteration. None of them came out of that experience the same. For whatever reason, Kirsten's rise to super stardom prompted her to lose interest in being a pretty face. That's okay for her, but kind of a disappointment to those of us who were smitten with her old look.

While we're flashing back to her SPIDER-MAN days, lets not forget that this movie was one of the first introductions we ever had to Kirsten's amazing rack. Further evidence of their greatness was exemplified years later when she took it off for her otherwise horribly depressing Von Trier end of the world movie MELANCHOLIA. I don't know what it is about those skinny girls with big racks, but they're just awesome.

Kirsten has an ass and I presume it does as asses are supposed to do. Other than that, I've never been especially smitten with it. It's neither abhorrently flat or offensively large. It's just kind of there, unnoticed and unremarkable. So most of Kirsten's visual draw is out in front. That's not unheard of in her line. Considering how good Kirsten's front side is, one need not give her any guff for having a boring butt.

Something I noticed about Kirsten during her run on Fargo was that she seemed to have chunked up somewhat. She certainly wasn't the pixie-sized thing she had been in years prior. Such was the case with several members of this last season's cast. Clearly the fricassee and jello salad was flowing freely from those craft service tables. Fluctuations in fitness aren't a new thing for Kirsten. We've seen her go from too skinny to somewhat thick more than once. I can't fault her time spent with a fuller figure though, as it does wonders for her already wondrous boobs.

It's been said that most of the discontent Kirsten suffered through in her Spidey days sourced from her regret over being stuck in a blockbuster movie franchise. It would seem such movies aren't her style. Since then Kirsten has made a point of keeping herself out of the larger movies in favor of much smaller or more artsy productions. That may not be the most career-advancing decision ever made, but it's what Kirsten wants to do with her time. She occasionally pulls a winner out of that indie movie hat, so good for her.

Kirsten sometimes comes across as aloof, even moody at times. She's also a little too forthcoming with some of her more divisive opinions sometimes. It's hard to say if that's legitimate attitude or shyness being mistaken as attitude. Whatever the situation, she tends to blow cold and warm, depending on the situation. That makes her not unlike most of us in the real world. However, she does work in a profession where personable people are especially valued. She would do well to work on biting her tongue and flashing a pleasant smile for the crowd.

Check out our previous Hottie Report Cards...

"A" Students: Salma Hayek, Jennifer Aniston, Paula Patton, Gemma Arterton, Amber Heard, Lacey Chabert, Jaimie Alexander, Gillian Jacobs, Natalie Dormer, Amy Adams, Alison Brie, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Brook, Kate Mara, Eva Green, Carla Gugino, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Lawrence, Charlize Theron, Olivia Munn, Zoe Saldana, Rosario Dawson, Olga Kurylenko, Olivia Wilde, Kaley Cuoco, Hayley Atwell, Lauren Cohan, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, Victoria Justice, Maria Menounos, Mila Kunis, Rosamund Pike, Margot Robbie, Nina Agdal, Shailene Woodley, Amanda Seyfried, Christina Hendricks, Jessica Alba, Ashley Greene, Charlotte McKinney, Kate Beckinsale, Aly Michalka.

"B" Students: Sandra Bullock, Alice Eve, Jenna Fischer, Lena Headey, Kristen Bell, Anna Kendrick, Cobie Smulders, Rashida Jones, Danielle Harris, Nicole Beharie, Ellie Kemper, Michelle Trachtenberg, Evangeline Lilly, Meagan Good, Gabrielle Union, Yvonne Strahovski, Sarah Hyland, Emily Browning, Imogen Poots, Tina Fey, Karen Gillan, Rebecca Hall, Elizabeth Banks, Annet Mahendru, Emily Blunt, Emilia Clarke, Moon Bloodgood, Danielle Fishel, Keri Russell, Cameron Diaz, Rachel McAdams, Megan Fox, Aubrey Plaza, Emily Ratajkowski, Michelle Monaghan, Adrianne Palicki, Nicole Kidman, Kat Dennings, Keira Knightley, Allison Williams, Jena Malone, Rose Byrne, Maggie Grace, Jennifer Lopez, Sienna Miller, Jordana Brewster, Felicity Jones, Blake Liveley, Elizabeth Olsen, Reese Witherspoon, Brittany Snow, Jennette McCurdy, Ronda Rousey, Bryce Dallas Howard, Alyssa Milano, Rhona Mitra, Natalie Martinez, Ashley Benson, Elizabeth Gillies, Odette Yustman, Kristen Stewart, Alicia Vikander, Kate Bosworth, Juno Temple, Zooey Deschanel.

"C" Students: Kristen Wiig, Katherine Heigl, Dakota Johnson.

"D" Students: Khloe Kardashian.


Source: Movie Hotties


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