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Hottie Report Card: Brittany Snow

05.15.2015by: Salacious Crumb

Alright, kiddos, silence your cellphones and put out your e-cigs! Once again, it's time for us to speculate a gorgeous actress, or "student body", and try to decipher where they might stand on a grand scale of movie hotties. Coincidentally, you can spot this week's pick possibly singing her lungs out in PITCH PERFECT 2, a movie set in the world of competetive singers and dancers. Of course, I'm referring to Brittany SnowSeveral other hot actresses can be seen in the film as well, although we've already put both Kendrick and Banks to the test at one point or another. Plus, I just happen to dig this hottie. So if my opinion seems biased just because Brittany leaves an apple on my desk everyday, you can feel free to state yours in the comments or forever hold your piece. Now, on with the pictures! We have important business to attend to...

If you're under the impression that my giving Snow's mug a 'B' instead of an 'A' means I wouldn't want to share a strand of spaghetti with her, you are sorely mistaken. Even a 'C' on a grand scale of hotties would at least ensure she's at least somewhat hot uptop. She's in that position as an actress where she can alternate between being a major babe and the "everygirl" simply by changing wardrobe. She also proves that piercing blue eyes, no matter how tantalizing, will always possess sexy hypnotic powers.

From what I can gather from most of her pics, as well as my choppy memory, Brittany has no reason to keep this area hidden away from dedicated fans of her pitch perfect patooty. However, the inconvenient truth is that most hotties are too shy for that nowadays. Sigh. Let's hope her singing skills are better than her butt-flaunting skills, for her team's sake. If anyone has any good snapshots of Brittany from behind, please post them on the bulletin board after class.

Now, here's an area that should really help Brittany project onstage... Her voice, that is... When we described her as "perky", we didn't just mean her personality. It's nice that they're so lovely to look at, but it's even nicer that she allows us to get a decent look, making them bulge out at occasional red carpet shindigs. If she'd have put this much effort into the previous subject, we may have an 'A' student on our hands. I would gladly get hit in the face with Snow's snowballs.

With a truly rockin' bod and a last name like Snow, one has to wonder how this hottie hasn't melted into a puddle just yet. I always say most movie hotties are bound to come out ahead in the "fitness" category, but something about Snow's physique especially stands out to me. I may be alone in placing her above other blondies of her stature like Gillian Jacobs, but I'll proudly stand by that lonesome place.

While she quickly came on the scene with her lead role in JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE, followed by the success of HAIRSPRAY as well as another lead role in PROM NIGHT the year after that, she seemed to drift away shortly thereafter. I'm happy to see the success of PITCH PERFECT bring her back into the limelight, even if the films don't really appeal to me, personally. If you feel the same way and want to see Brittany in something new, you might try the suspenseful horror film WOULD YOU RATHER, in which she co-stars alongside pornstar Sasha Grey. That got your attention, now, didn't it?

As someone who often drowns out what some actresses are saying as I take in the aroma of their hotness, this last subject can be a tough call sometimes. However, even with the fewer than few interviews she's made time for in promotion for PP2, I get the general impression that she's quite awesome. This impression mostly comes from this image of Brittany dancing on a pole at her 21st birthday party, but also this touchy-feely video she recently made for Love is Louder. She's also dedicated time to help teens fight drug abuse. Upon learning that "watching movies" is one of her favorite pasttimes, it's hard not to imagine marrying her and skipping off into the sunset, or better yet, the snow. 

Check out our previous Hottie Report Cards...

"A" Students: Salma Hayek, Jennifer Aniston, Paula Patton, Gemma Arterton, Amber Heard, Lacey Chabert, Jaimie Alexander, Gillian Jacobs, Natalie Dormer, Amy Adams, Alison Brie, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Brook, Kate Mara, Eva Green, Carla Gugino, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Lawrence, Charlize Theron, Olivia MunnZoe Saldana, Rosario DawsonOlga Kurylenko, Olivia Wilde, Kaley Cuoco, Hayley Atwell, Lauren Cohan, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, Victoria Justice, Maria Menounos, Mila Kunis, Rosamund Pike, Margot Robbie, Nina Agdal, Shailene Woodley, Amanda Seyfried, Christina Hendricks.

"B" Students: Sandra Bullock, Alice Eve, Jenna Fischer, Lena Headey, Kristen Bell, Anna Kendrick, Cobie Smulders, Rashida Jones, Danielle Harris, Nicole Beharie, Ellie Kemper, Michelle Trachtenberg, Evangeline Lilly, Meagan Good, Gabrielle Union, Yvonne Strahovski, Sarah Hyland, Emily Browning, Imogen Poots, Tina Fey, Karen Gillan, Rebecca Hall, Elizabeth Banks, Annet Mahendru, Emily Blunt, Emilia Clarke, Moon Bloodgood, Danielle Fishel, Keri Russell, Cameron Diaz, Rachel McAdams, Megan Fox, Aubrey Plaza, Emily Ratajkowski, Michelle Monaghan, Adrianne Palicki, Nicole Kidman, Kat Dennings, Keira Knightley, Allison Williams, Jena Malone, Rose Byrne, Maggie Grace, Jennifer Lopez, Sienna Miller, Jordana Brewster, Felicity Jones, Blake Liveley, Elizabeth Olsen, Reese Witherspoon.

"C" Students: Kristen Wiig, Katherine Heigl, Dakota Johnson.

"D" Students: Khloe Kardashian.

Extra Tidbit: So, how would YOU grade this hottie, professor?


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