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Hottie Report Card: Brie Larson

04.21.2017by: Droz

It seems we've entered the time of Brie Larson. It wasn't long ago at all when few knew who she was. Now she's winning Oscars and getting the choice roles, which has prompted some to call her the new Jennifer Lawrence (as if we were somehow done with the old J-Law). This rapid rise up the Hollywood success ladder rewards Brie with no less than 5 movies coming out in 2017 alone. She's also set to wrap up Phase 3 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with the CAPTAIN MARVEL movie and AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR.

Quite a full plate Brie has there. Only someone top notch could ever scoop up so many goodies from the Hollywood buffet. This must mean Brie is pretty great. Let's see.

I got no problem with Brie's looks. However, if I'm gonna be honest, I have to admit to finding her pretty, but not in a glamorous way. She's more like someone you'd actually know in your life, rather than one of those impossibly attractive stunners who frequent the world Brie runs in. Not that any nitpicking I get up to here really matters. There may be more gorgeous faces out there, but Brie still plays way outside my league.

I like a lot of things about Brie, but ever since she started bringing the boob shows to the premieres for all the movies she has coming out, they've quickly become my new favorite part of her person. Rarely have I seen more perfectly shaped mounds of sex appeal, squished together with just the right amount of cleavage. There are a number of great racks I hold in genuine esteem throughout the celebrity world. Brie's now holds high standing among them.

You may have heard me go on and on about the greatness of a nice, big, round ass. I know, I'm a broken record when it comes to those things. What can I say? As an ass man, they obsess me to a degree I am reluctant to admit. Being such a fan of the booty, I'm also very much open to a variety of butt configurations. Brie's ass isn't as bombastic as those other asses I commonly praise, but I'm cool with it. I enjoy asses that stick out so far you practically need 3D glasses to appreciate them, but I'd gladly take Brie's ass in a pinch, if only just because it's hers.

The pic below represents Brie in her most fit configuration. Not bad, huh? I don't think she's quite this sleek now, but that's okay. Adding some girth to Brie only makes my favorite parts of her bigger and better. Anyway, it's good we've documented these different builds of Brie. For should she need to slim down again to be her superhero alter ego in the days ahead, we can remain confident that Brie will still be sexy.

I think I already made the case for Brie's superiority in this category in the preamble above. Girl is succeeding and then some as an actor in Hollywood right now. She's got Oscars and Oscar bait movies all over the place, as well as the big blockbuster and comic book cash in extravaganzas. It was all a virtually instant rise to the A-list for Brie after killing it in ROOM back in 2015. Now she's the hottest ticket in town. This is a fitting place for Brie to be.

It's not unheard of to see stars with Brie's variety of success descend into entitled delusion. For some celebs, the whole idea of people falling over themselves to kiss their ass translates to a twisted sense of superiority. Such superficiality could conceivably infect Brie, should her winning streak continue. Yet for now, it seems like she's keeping her feet planted firmly on the ground and just enjoying the ride. I appreciate those who can hang on to their humbleness amidst the obfuscating onslaught of fame and fortune. Let's hope she keeps it up.

Check out our previous Hottie Report Cards...

"A" Students: Salma Hayek, Jennifer Aniston, Paula Patton, Gemma Arterton, Amber Heard, Lacey Chabert, Jaimie Alexander, Gillian Jacobs, Natalie Dormer, Amy Adams, Alison Brie, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Brook, Kate Mara, Eva Green, Carla Gugino, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Lawrence, Charlize Theron, Olivia Munn, Zoe Saldana, Rosario Dawson, Olga Kurylenko, Olivia Wilde, Kaley Cuoco, Hayley Atwell, Lauren Cohan, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, Victoria Justice, Maria Menounos, Mila Kunis, Rosamund Pike, Margot Robbie, Nina Agdal, Shailene Woodley, Amanda Seyfried, Christina Hendricks, Jessica Alba, Ashley Greene, Charlotte McKinney, Kate Beckinsale, Aly Michalka, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Morena Baccarin, Katy Perry, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Hilary Duff, Sara Jean Underwood, Emmy Rossum, Minka Kelly, Emma Stone, Marion Cotillard, Melissa Benoist, Ali Larter, Demi Lovato, Elle Fanning.

"B" Students: Sandra Bullock, Alice Eve, Jenna Fischer, Lena Headey, Kristen Bell, Anna Kendrick, Cobie Smulders, Rashida Jones, Danielle Harris, Nicole Beharie, Ellie Kemper, Michelle Trachtenberg, Evangeline Lilly, Meagan Good, Gabrielle Union, Yvonne Strahovski, Sarah Hyland, Emily Browning, Imogen Poots, Tina Fey, Karen Gillan, Rebecca Hall, Elizabeth Banks, Annet Mahendru, Emily Blunt, Emilia Clarke, Moon Bloodgood, Danielle Fishel, Keri Russell, Cameron Diaz, Rachel McAdams, Megan Fox, Aubrey Plaza, Emily Ratajkowski, Michelle Monaghan, Adrianne Palicki, Nicole Kidman, Kat Dennings, Keira Knightley, Allison Williams, Jena Malone, Rose Byrne, Maggie Grace, Jennifer Lopez, Sienna Miller, Jordana Brewster, Felicity Jones, Blake Liveley, Elizabeth Olsen, Reese Witherspoon, Brittany Snow, Jennette McCurdy, Ronda Rousey, Bryce Dallas Howard, Alyssa Milano, Rhona Mitra, Natalie Martinez, Ashley Benson, Elizabeth Gillies, Odette Yustman, Kristen Stewart, Alicia Vikander, Kate Bosworth, Juno Temple, Zooey Deschanel, Kirsten Dunst, Bella Thorne, Deborah Ann Woll, Daisy Ridley, Sophie Turner, Emily VanCamp, Selena Gomez, Sarah Silverman, Hailee Steinfeld, Katharine McPhee, Kate Hudson, Haley Bennett, Gal Gadot, Jessica Biel, Jamie Chung, Emma Roberts, Cara Delevingne, Emma Watson.

"C" Students: Kristen Wiig, Katherine Heigl, Dakota Johnson, Iggy Azalea.

"D" Students: Khloe Kardashian.

Source: Movie Hotties


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