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Hottie Report Card: Blake Lively

04.24.2015by: Salacious Crumb

With the end of April approaching comes the last chance for any smaller releases to gain any traction until Oscar season, and one of those smaller releases is the sci-fi-rom-dram THE AGE OF ADALINE (not to be confused with ULTRON), which stars the gorgeous Harrison Ford. Oh, I guess it should also be noted that the movie primarily stars the lovely Blake Lively, or the lively Blake Lovely (whichever you'd prefer). Many of you may know this hottie better as the spouse of both Green Lantern and Deadpool, which is a WWE Smackdown edition we're all waiting to see take place. Today, however, we're simply going to observe Lively's stance as eye candy in the cinematic universe. Sure, she lives up to the definition, but where does she rank on a grand scale of movie hotties? Let's open up this topic for discussion in the most respectable manner possible... by ogling pictures!

Back in the ACCEPTED days, Blake was by all means gorgeous, but as with most movie hotties, she still needed to put in those hours before her mug started to show up in our day dreams. Obviously, we're past this point with Blake, and for that, she should be very proud. I would liken the beauty Lively's face to my Salvador Dali mustache, in that they both grew on me over time. That said, one of those things was adored by most people, while the other caused an uproar from users of public transportation.

My grades in this category may come off as more flip-floppy than a politician, and I understand that, but what's important to note is that I rank this category heavily on the "presentation" factor. After all, what good is owning a shapely derriere if it's hidden in the shadows like a melancholic man in a mask? Luckily, the forces of nature seem to agree, as Blake doesn't seem too shy when it comes to the old "over the shoulder" routine. Normally, I might not be as lenient, but she gets extra credit for show and tail.

While I can't say there's been a time where I was utterly obsessed with Blake's lively bunch, it's easy to grasp the appeal. They aren't particularly showcased in her movies, although sometimes they can look pretty darn spectacular (THE TOWN being a prime example). As far as photoshoots and red carpet appearances go, Blake doesn't seem too hesitant when it comes to showing off these splendid talents. With her recent venture into motherhood, we can only hope things begin "improving" even more.

Again, Blake just finished the beautiful process of pregnancy and birth-giving, so I'm not about to have both Green Lantern and Deadpool hunt me down and kick my ass over my comments in this subject. That said, there's no reason either of them would have to, as this is without a doubt one of the categories in which Blake exceeds. Lively's been popping up on Movie Hotties since before I had anything to do with it, and her response from the schmoes is usually overwhelmingly positive. 

Unfortunately, I never saw THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS, nor did I ever watch Gossip Girl, but apparently a lot of other people did. Those projects undoubtedly kickstarted Lively's career, but some might agree her turns in THE TOWN, SAVAGES and HICK are much more appealing. Regardless, her starring role in THE AGE OF ADALINE looks to be like one of those "career-defining" moments, so hopefully we'll be seeing more of her on the big screen in the near future. And yes, I do mean "more of her" in a naked sense (please don't kick my ass, Deadpool).

For reasons unknown, I find myself really wanting to admire Lively, even more so than other hotties. Such a task really isn't that difficult, until you've heard things like she's worked with Harrison Ford, yet hasn't seen any of the original STAR WARS trilogy (take a moment to revive yourself from that heart attack). As hard as that is to forgive, it's understandable considering Blake is actually a hard-working actress, and not just leeching off of those VAN WILDER checks from her hubbie. Aside from that, she seems level-headed and easy to get along with, and she absolutely seems suitable to be a parent. Take it from me, a guy who rates celebrites' boobs on the internet.

Check out our previous Hottie Report Cards...

"A" Students: Salma Hayek, Jennifer Aniston, Paula Patton, Gemma Arterton, Amber Heard, Lacey Chabert, Jaimie Alexander, Gillian Jacobs, Natalie Dormer, Amy Adams, Alison Brie, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Brook, Kate Mara, Eva Green, Carla Gugino, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Lawrence, Charlize Theron, Olivia MunnZoe Saldana, Rosario DawsonOlga Kurylenko, Olivia Wilde, Kaley Cuoco, Hayley Atwell, Lauren Cohan, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, Victoria Justice, Maria Menounos, Mila Kunis, Rosamund Pike, Margot Robbie, Nina Agdal, Shailene Woodley, Amanda Seyfried, Christina Hendricks.

"B" Students: Sandra Bullock, Alice Eve, Jenna Fischer, Lena Headey, Kristen Bell, Anna Kendrick, Cobie Smulders, Rashida Jones, Danielle Harris, Nicole Beharie, Ellie Kemper, Michelle Trachtenberg, Evangeline Lilly, Meagan Good, Gabrielle Union, Yvonne Strahovski, Sarah Hyland, Emily Browning, Imogen Poots, Tina Fey, Karen Gillan, Rebecca Hall, Elizabeth Banks, Annet Mahendru, Emily Blunt, Emilia Clarke, Moon Bloodgood, Danielle Fishel, Keri Russell, Cameron Diaz, Rachel McAdams, Megan Fox, Aubrey Plaza, Emily Ratajkowski, Michelle Monaghan, Adrianne Palicki, Nicole Kidman, Kat Dennings, Keira Knightley, Allison Williams, Jena Malone, Rose Byrne, Maggie Grace, Jennifer Lopez, Sienna Miller, Jordana Brewster, Felicity Jones.

"C" Students: Kristen Wiig, Katherine Heigl, Dakota Johnson.

"D" Students: Khloe Kardashian.

 

Extra Tidbit: What do YOU grade this hottie, professor?

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