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Hottie Report Card: Ali Larter

01.27.2017by: Droz

Every few years we get a new RESIDENT EVIL movie. This new one, RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER, is the 6th in the series and the 4th with this week's Hottie Report Card candidate, Ali Larter. I don't think playing Claire Redfield in these movies every 3 or 4 years qualifies as steady work. Yet for those of us not always down with the gigs she has in those interims, a RE movie stands as a fun, if not dumb excuse to revisit Ali and see how she's holding up.

The answer to how well Ali holds up has always been an easy "quite well" for me. Girl seems virtually unchanged from her younger days. Actually no, I take that back. She has changed, but for the better. I wager Ali is even hotter now than she was 10 years ago. Such improvements should make for a great score on a Report Card, so let's put her through the usual gauntlet and see.

Ali has always been stunning. In her younger days she was lead high school cheerleader stunning, then seamlessly transitioned into the most gorgeous MILF on the block kind of stunning. It's unlike me to gush so heavily about the blondes. I'm not so militant as to be unable to recognize a pretty blonde when I see one. However, I'm almost always of the mind that they would probably look as hot or hotter if they went with a darker color. Not so with me and Ali. Don't get me wrong, when she dons the red hair to play Claire Redfield in these RE movies, I'm a happy camper. But I'm cool when she goes back to the blonde. It suits her just fine.

A massive rack has never been Ali's thing. She had a few moments of bustiness following the birth of her kids. I recall her and us getting a whole lot of mileage out of her post-natal swellings. But in the end, they always went back to an A cup of some sort. So Ali doesn't have a whole lot up top. Doesn't matter. She has so much to offer elsewhere that she more than makes up for any perceived deficiencies here.

Ali might not have a lot up top, but there's ample handfuls out back. Girl has a nice little tush action happening under them mommy jeans. In fact, I'd call what she's rockin' here the perfect booty medium for anyone's needs. Not too big, not too small. Athletic and tight, yet with a little bounce to it. Asses are a contentious topic. Everyone has a preference there and frequently an inflexible one at that. Ali's ass is one of the few I would think could satisfy just about everyone.

What you see of Ali below is about 10 years on from her whipped cream moment in VARSITY BLUES, illustrated in the career section. This black bikini moment is itself about 10 years before the current day. So that's 20 years of Ali, going from early 20s to early 40s, during which she has changed very little in the fitness area. Sure, things fluctuated a bit after the kids, which is what having kids does. Yet both times she remained fastidious about getting back into shape in short order. Most people are forced to accept the inevitability of going from tight to flabby in those 20 years. Not so with Ali. Keeping fit is just another way she defies the march of time.

I'll bet most people old enough to remember Ali's entire time on the scene, like myself, continue to hold this moment of whipped cream goodness as a personal favorite. It was and is a hard moment to forget. Many of us can only long for such a greeting. Unfortunately the memorable moments slowed down somewhat in years to follow. While Ali has been a regular face in a number of things, some more significant than others, they weren't always the best productions. Despite this, I've always found her a decent actor, too often mired in mild or outright mediocre gigs. Too bad. She deserved better.

Most people seem to find Ali irresistible as a hottie. I've never heard anyone speak ill of her as a real person either. Whenever I see her she's always got a warm smile and a sweet disposition, even for the camera dudes chasing her around. That's telling, since how celebs treat the least among us is often a good barometer for the kind of person they are. And since most would consider paparazzi as some of the lowest of the low, Ali's willingness to be nice to them says something nice about her.

Check out our previous Hottie Report Cards...

"A" Students: Salma Hayek, Jennifer Aniston, Paula Patton, Gemma Arterton, Amber Heard, Lacey Chabert, Jaimie Alexander, Gillian Jacobs, Natalie Dormer, Amy Adams, Alison Brie, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Brook, Kate Mara, Eva Green, Carla Gugino, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Lawrence, Charlize Theron, Olivia Munn, Zoe Saldana, Rosario Dawson, Olga Kurylenko, Olivia Wilde, Kaley Cuoco, Hayley Atwell, Lauren Cohan, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, Victoria Justice, Maria Menounos, Mila Kunis, Rosamund Pike, Margot Robbie, Nina Agdal, Shailene Woodley, Amanda Seyfried, Christina Hendricks, Jessica Alba, Ashley Greene, Charlotte McKinney, Kate Beckinsale, Aly Michalka, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Morena Baccarin, Katy Perry, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Hilary Duff, Sara Jean Underwood, Emmy Rossum, Minka Kelly, Emma Stone, Marion Cotillard, Melissa Benoist.

"B" Students: Sandra Bullock, Alice Eve, Jenna Fischer, Lena Headey, Kristen Bell, Anna Kendrick, Cobie Smulders, Rashida Jones, Danielle Harris, Nicole Beharie, Ellie Kemper, Michelle Trachtenberg, Evangeline Lilly, Meagan Good, Gabrielle Union, Yvonne Strahovski, Sarah Hyland, Emily Browning, Imogen Poots, Tina Fey, Karen Gillan, Rebecca Hall, Elizabeth Banks, Annet Mahendru, Emily Blunt, Emilia Clarke, Moon Bloodgood, Danielle Fishel, Keri Russell, Cameron Diaz, Rachel McAdams, Megan Fox, Aubrey Plaza, Emily Ratajkowski, Michelle Monaghan, Adrianne Palicki, Nicole Kidman, Kat Dennings, Keira Knightley, Allison Williams, Jena Malone, Rose Byrne, Maggie Grace, Jennifer Lopez, Sienna Miller, Jordana Brewster, Felicity Jones, Blake Liveley, Elizabeth Olsen, Reese Witherspoon, Brittany Snow, Jennette McCurdy, Ronda Rousey, Bryce Dallas Howard, Alyssa Milano, Rhona Mitra, Natalie Martinez, Ashley Benson, Elizabeth Gillies, Odette Yustman, Kristen Stewart, Alicia Vikander, Kate Bosworth, Juno Temple, Zooey Deschanel, Kirsten Dunst, Bella Thorne, Deborah Ann Woll, Daisy Ridley, Sophie Turner, Emily VanCamp, Selena Gomez, Sarah Silverman, Hailee Steinfeld, Katharine McPhee, Kate Hudson, Haley Bennett, Gal Gadot, Jessica Biel, Jamie Chung.

"C" Students: Kristen Wiig, Katherine Heigl, Dakota Johnson, Iggy Azalea.

"D" Students: Khloe Kardashian.

Source: Movie Hotties


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