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Hot or Not: Kristen Schaal

04.05.2016by: Cherry Liquor

I didn't pay much attention to calling out Elodie Yung's ethnicity (she was raised in France, therefore I simply think of her as French, yeah?) but this seemed to have been a point of contention for some when I featured her in this column last week. Most of you are totally smitten with her (but yes, I agree that looking Asian, speaking with a British accent and only briefly showing a scene where Stick drops her off with an adoptive Greek family was a bit disorienting), so I guess I'll be alone in not watching her spin-off show, should it happen. How about we go for a lady this week whose personality factor might very well push her into hottie territory... or not.

Kristen Schaal

I should start off by pointing out that I am aware most of you are going to immediately have something negative to say about Kristen's looks. Her facial features are all competing for attention at the same time, much like a 3-year old on a sugar binge will come at you - sticky and intense. Still, I like those big eyes of hers. I like her no bullshit approach to her composure, as if she knows you're not going to liken her to Scarlett Johansson but here's what she's got and if you don't like it, she's still not going anywhere. This might be a seasoned tack from a professional comedienne and it might be bluster but it's damn attractive in its fearlessness.

So yes, Schaal isn't traditionally pretty. Her attitude and delivery are absolutely mesmerizing, which might even distract you from the fact that she has a rather fit body. Long legs, good rack, absolutely gorgeous pale, glowing complexion. That's all before I get into the fact that I could listen to her talk all day, every day, from sun up to sun down. Yes, Kristen's voice is so unique that you can instantly spot her when she's employed in a voice role (although she's most well known and loved as Louise Belcher from "Bob's Burgers" and those who don't like that show always set off my "there's something very wrong with you" radar).

I find Kristen hot in her very specific, personal way. It's hard to feature a woman in this column that I admire, put her up to the scrutiny of passing glances and preconceived notions of external beauty. While not necessarily bombshell attractive, the fact that Schaal is so whip smart funny, from her standup specials to her bits on "The Daily Show" and "Conan" to her voicing animated characters to her live-in-person roles where she shows off how ballsy she is, all of that makes her very hot to me. It makes me wish I had even .0001% of her je ne sais quoi.

What do you think of Kristen Schaal?

Source: IMDB

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