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Globe Awards 1/2

01.13.2008by: Seth Gecko

It's a dark day in the land of Hollywood folks as the current WGA feud with various parties has led to the cancellation of the "65th Annual Golden Globes" which was supposed to have it's typical ceremony tonight with the biggest stars in both movies and television attending. Instead however, the HFPA has decided to announce the winners over a one-hour broadcast instead since the show must go on. As most of you already know, both the "Golden Globes" as well as the "Academy Awards" are very important for us here at because it's the one time that the most beatiful actresses in Hollywood get together and then we always give the best coverage possible. The fact that we won't be able to see Ellen Page or Angelina Jolie tonight makes me furious!

In light of the fact that our most beloved hotties will not be appearing tonight in their Vera Wang dresses, we've also decided that the show must go on and we're proud to present the "Best & Worst of the Golden Globes". In this post, we've gone through all the photos of the past 7 years in order to find the perfect candidate for each winning category below. It was a tough contest but we've definitely found our winners (and losers) as well. Along with honouring the winner of each category, we will also have a runner-up stated below each one.

Throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave, grab a brew and go through this list gents because the hotties have hung up their dresses tonight and we won't be seeing them until Oscar time. So check out the great categories and winners below gents and cross your fingers that the celebrity hotties that we've come to love will walk the red carpet in February. In case you're not sure, the "Golden Globe" winners will be announced tonight at 6:00pm PST during a one-hour broadcast. Enjoy!

Best Cleavage Award

Scarlett Johansson - "63rd Annual Golden Globes"

C'mon, there is no hottie in red carpet history that could possibly beat the look of Scarlett's cans when she arrived at the show last year. Top marks go to whoever picked her dress and even higher marks to her parents cause they knew what they were doing. So until Salma Hayek comes back and steals away the title with her perfect boobs, Scarlett deserves it all the way.

Runner-Up: Salma Hayek - "64th Annual Golden Globe Awards"

Hottest Ass & Backside Award

Jessica Biel - "64th Annual Golden Globe Awards"

Is there a tighter ass on this planet? That is so tight that I doubt that you could fit a paper clip in between her butt cheeks (I'd give anything to try it). Jessica's ass is so perfect that it might as well have been chiseled out of marble on Mt. Olympus. Go Jess!

Runner-Up: Kate Winslet - "64th Annual Golden Globe Awards"

"Hottie That Should Have Been Nominated But Wasn't For 2007" Award

Rose Byrne - "SUNSHINE"

I was deeply disappointed that this particular hottie was not nominated this year as she did an exceptional job as part of the Earth-saving crew in "Sunshine". A superb and award-worthy job from her but maybe next time. Did I mention that she's really hot too?

Runner-Up: Kelly MacDonald - "No Country For Old Men"

Hottest Dress Award

Angelina Jolie - "60th Annual Golden Globe Awards"

If you're not hypnotized by the photo above, you're definitely not looking at it right. I lost 4 hours of valuable time today cause I looked at the photo once and had a minor coma. The dress that Angie's wearing fits her tightly in all the right places and shows how perfect her figure truly is. It is definitely worthy of the award and we salute Angelina for wearing it.

Runner-Up: Natalie Portman - "62nd Annual Golden Globe Awards"

Ugliest Dress Award

Sharon Stone - "59th Annual Golden Globe Awards"

Can you say f#cking ugly? No....not Sharon! She was actually pretty hot but when she wore that road kill of a dress you see above, her attraction level went down a couple of notches. That thing is ass ugly and would only look good as a trailer mat. C'mon Sharon, wear the dress that Angelina wore, you're better than that!

Runner-Up: Cameron Diaz - "64th Annual Golden Globe Awards""

Hottest "Best Actress" Winner Award

Hilary Swank for "Million Dollar Baby" (2005)

There have been a ton of super-hot nominees that have been part of the "Golden Globes" over the past few years but very few smokin' hotties have actually won. Hilary however is the exception as she is a superior beauty and really looked amazing when she won her award for "Million Dollar Baby". I never realized until this point how hot she really was and she still maintains that sexy image even today.

Runner-Up: Charlize Theron for "Monster" (2005)

Sexiest TV Star Award

Evangeline Lilly - "64th Annual Golden Globe Awards"

Evangeline is a goddess of television and when I first laid eyes on her in the photo above, I knew that she'd be a star in no time at all. Even though her fame hasn't really gone beyond "Lost", her sex appeal is at 100% and I just can't resist a gorgeous brunette. She is clearly the hottest TV star to ever attend the "Golden Globes" in my eyes.

Runner-Up: Tina Fey - "64th Annual Golden Globe Awards"

Hottest "Best Supporting Actress" Winner Award

Natalie Portman for "Closer" (2005)

This award goes to the first love of my life and no one deserves it more than Natalie. Her win at the "Golden Globes" for "Closer" practically catapulted her to another level of fame. She is by-far the hottest and cutest girl to ever win a "Best Supporting Actress" award at the Globes and that is undeniable. Just look at the photo above!

Runner-Up: Angelina Jolie - "Girl, Interrupted"

Hottest Couple Candid Award - "64th Annual Golden Globe Awards"

Ali Larter and Hayden Panettiere (2006)

Threesome! Threesome! Three....whoops, sorry about that. I was repeating myself again, that is truly embarrassing and I deeply apologize for my inexcusable behaviour. Ummmmmm....what was I talking about?

Runner-Up: Natalie Portman and Laura Linney




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9:51PM on 01/13/2008
love the Scarket pic (she's MY wife) but the winner has to be the Greek goddesses of Hayden and Ali. There's proof right there that they came from the heavens above Mount Olympus.
love the Scarket pic (she's MY wife) but the winner has to be the Greek goddesses of Hayden and Ali. There's proof right there that they came from the heavens above Mount Olympus.
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