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Face Off: Zooey Deschanel vs. Katy Perry

08.06.2012by: Droz

Ya'll voted in favor of Kate Beckinsale over Jessica Biel in our last Face Off, giving the English beauty the win in a 3 to 1 landslide. I'm amazed that you guys managed such a decisive victory. Jessica is quite a creature. I would have thought it would require more agonizing from you. I guess Kate is just that special.

This week we compare two ladies who are quite easily comparable. We all know Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel are long lost siblings, clearly the result of some mix-up at the hospital or the sideline dealings of one or more of their parents. Okay, we don't know that, but I suspect as much. How else can you explain two women, completely unrelated and unconnected so far as we know, turning out in such an identical way? Mere coincidence? Yeah, probably. Still, how does one select the better of two ladies so similarly fashioned? I don't know, but let's see what we can do.


It might be silly to pick one face over the other here when the two of them are so similar. The only aspect of the two that truly differentiates them is the eyes. Zooey's got two incredible aqua blue pools for eyes, so distinctive and expressive. 99% of the charm and beguilement she so readily and effortlessly exudes comes from those expressive eyes. She simply wouldn't be the cutie she is without them.

Then again, Katy's got some pretty peepers as well. Being that these two are so similar in this area, it would be pointless to try to say that one is better at being identical than the other. In fact, even Google has a difficult time distinguishing between the two, often mixing them up when searching for images of one or the other. The similarities are rather uncanny. So it's an even split here.


Zooey's body is nothing to scoff at, though I think Katy has got her beat in more than a few areas. Beyond that, Zooey also seems more content as of late to keep her body covered in attire of a decidedly non-alluring fashion. I'm not entirely sure why that is, as she's quite well proportioned and fully capable of filling out more provocative outfits. I guess she's not eager to trade on her good body.

It's from the neck down that these two start to diverge a bit. Of course, we all know the delights Katy's body possesses. She's probably just as famous for her boobs as her body of work - perhaps even more. It's probably safe to say that Katy would not be the star that she is were it not for those two lovely bits of flesh that project from her chest. Gotta give credit where credit is due.

Sex Appeal

The ironically dowdy hipster style to which Zooey aligns herself ends up hurting her a bit here. Trench coats and librarian clothes don't do a lot for the libido. I like her cutesy thing, but it's the exact opposite of Katy's approach, not surprisingly making her more cute than sexy. Not to say that she isn't or couldn't be sexy, if she wanted to be. I just don't think she wants to be. She seems to prefer a wink and smile, which is sweet, but lags behind in the sexiness department.

Not as much confusion about why someone would want to get on board with Katy's sex appeal. She pretty much embodies the concept of sexy woman. Hardly a moment goes by when she's not putting her sexy out there for all to see. Sure, she sometimes goes a bit overboard with her attempts at garnering attention in this area. Still, I'm not going to lie and deny that her approach doesn't work - because it totally does.


It's a rare occurrence round these parts when a hottie's personality is more important than her physical attributes. Let's be honest - most of what we deal with here tends to focus on physical gratification over who a hottie might be as a person. Still, I have to say that my favorite thing about Zooey is who she is as a person. She seems like she'd be a lot of fun to hang around. It can't always be about sex, right? Eventually you'd have to stop for a minute and talk. I'll bet Zooey's pillow talk is fantastic.

I don't know for sure, but something tells me that Katy's rather bizarre outer persona is at least somewhat reflective of who she is as a person. And if that's the case, we probably wouldn't get along very well as people. Not to say that this is necessarily a bad thing, in and of itself. Her flash over substance approach just isn't my thing, especially if it intrudes into her personality. Being someone more laid back and down-to-earth by nature, that kind of person inflicts a high annoyance factor for me. Though annoyance would probably be a mutual thing between us.


Zooey's the triple threat. Actress, musician, iPhone spokesperson - she brings a lot to the table. And she does it all well (except for the iPhone thing. That's an annoying commercial). I enjoy most of the various things she does and count many of her films as some of my favorites. Clear winner here.

Yeah, not so big on Katy's stuff. I know she has her fans and ya'll should feel free to speak with your votes here, but it ain't working for me. I'm sure she does what she does well, or else she wouldn't be as prolific as she is. I just go another way as far as my entertainment goes.


I guess I shouldn't be surprised that two ladies with such conformity would tie for the win here. Sure, they have their strengths and weaknesses, similarities and differences, but it appears that such things ultimately end up cancelling each other out. Perhaps they were fated to be equivalents from the start - like some weird cosmic balance they maintain by their very existence. Let's hope nothing happens to either of them, lest we face serious, Doc Brown style consequences for the universe.

Just one man's opinion. Which one do you prefer?
Tags: Face-Off


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