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Face Off: Zoe Saldana vs. Michelle Rodriguez

07.18.2016by: Droz

As talented and widespread as Alicia Vikander has become in the last year, it was Gal Gadot who most of you found to be the better hottie in last week's Face Off. Makes sense, what with her Wonder Woman cred. I find it heartening how despite the mixed reception BvS received and all the gripes about her casting, Gal seemed to be the only part of that movie people were widely enthusiastic about. Maybe Alicia can get in on that enthusiasm come 2018 when she plays Lara Croft in the new TOMB RAIDER.

Speaking of warm receptions, the new STAR TREK movie seems to be generating some nice buzz ahead of its Friday release. Our own JimmyO gave it a 9 out of 10, which is surprising considering the bad taste its early trailers put in everyone's mouths. No doubt Zoe Saldana and her take on Lieutenant Uhura plays a significant part in this warm reception. Zoe has proven herself good at this kind of thing, having done so in a few blockbuster movie franchises now. She's not unlike Michelle Rodriguez in that respect, who also has a knack for getting herself in high profile movie series. The two even share a blockbuster via 2009's AVATAR. These two sexy Latinas definitely play in the big leagues, but do you root for Team Saldana or Team Rodriguez?

Beauty

I like the look of Zoe in her movies. I like the look of Zoe on a TV chat show or whatever. I like the look of Zoe in anything where she's moving. I just can't seem to get into her with anything involving still photography. You see people like this sometimes. A still camera just can't do them justice. Maybe it's the lighting or the skills of Hollywood makeup artists at work. All I know is that Zoe's best moments are when she is presented in a more 3-dimensional way.

There was a time when Michelle wouldn't have gotten much praise from me here at all. This was back in her early days, when tough girl roles seemed to necessitate she have a near constant resting bitch face problem. Fortunately someone on her publicity team realized Michelle wasn't going to get far by looking pissed all the time. Since then she's made a point of letting a smile come through in most of her photo opportunities. This more pleasant approach paints Michelle in a far better light.

Body

To be perfectly honest, there's not much I don't like about Zoe. So any ruling against her here is going to be nitpicking at best. For the most part Zoe is perfectly fine by way of body condition. She's maybe a little skinnier than what I would deem ideal, but still not bad at all. In the end, I'm just a little more taken with Michelle's proficiency at bikini-wearing.

I get a couple different impressions of Michelle when I check out her bod. First and foremost is the impressive nature of her build. Girl is pretty rock solid, which is all the more impressive when you consider how she's pushing 40. The other thought is how she's seemingly strong enough that she could probably kick most of our asses, making her tough girl roles more than mere affectation. How many hotties can you say that about?

Hotness

Zoe has provided us with all sorts of memorable moments over the years. I'm especially fond of her magazine spreads, which frequently have a way of dipping into the risque. You see a whole different side to her in those spreads. As good as she is nearly naked in a magazine spread, I found myself nearly as intrigued with her as a blue CGI alien in AVATAR, or as a green alien in GotG. I'm also kinda taken with her voice, which has a seductive quality all its own.

Probably my favorite of Michelle's hot qualities is how she looks even better from behind. I'm not usually inclined toward athletic frames like hers, but I must say that is an impressive ass she has there. Of course, we all know about her penchant for switch hitting. It was a moderately sized revelation when Michelle came out as bisexual a short while back. Yet as time moves on I suspect any stigma about such celebrity lifestyles will fade away. Especially since the implication is hotties like Michelle getting down with the ladies. How could anyone have a problem with that?

Career

I was just reading about how Zoe may be the highest earning actress of 2016. Sounds a little off, I know. You'd think it would be someone like ScarJo who has that distinction. Fortunately for Zoe, she's something of a savvy investor and entrepreneur. She's also got her STAR TREK paycheck, as well as earnings from a ton of AVATAR sequels and a GotG sequel, all of which I'm sure come with significant bank. Apart from the money, I'd say it's fair to call Zoe the better actress between these two. She's had her ups and downs there, but most of the time I like what she brings to her films.

Whenever a new FAST AND FURIOUS movie comes out, one thought I have is how fortunate some of the main cast are to have gotten in on the ground floor there. It's not necessarily because Michelle is a bad actress. Nor is she relegated to nothing but F&F movies. She has other gigs, obviously. Still, I doubt she'd have as much name recognition or earning potential had she not been playing Letty for 15 years now.

Michelle

I'm far from a masochist. However, if I had to have my ass kicked by someone, like there was a million dollars waiting for me afterwards, I'd want Michelle to do it. Not because I think it would hurt any less. I just like the look of her when she's getting violent. She has a weird kind of sexy all her own in those moments.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?

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