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Face Off: X-Men Hotties vs. X-men: First Class Hotties

07.22.2013by: Droz

Mary-Louise Parker destroyed her competition, Catherine Zeta-Jones by a 16 to 5 vote in last week's Face Off. That was another one of those times when I fully expected my vote to go to one way, but ended up going another. Like many of you, I always thought I liked MLP the best, but then I put my decision-making process through the Face Off filter and it turned out CZJ was more my speed. Still trying to figure that one out.

Anyway, the last couple weeks have been jam-packed with all kinds of comic book movie goodness, what with SDCC and all the breaking news coming out from that. The really exciting news for Marvel fans this week is a return to the X-men universe and the results of a second attempt at making a standalone Wolverine movie. Hopefully they've pulled it off this time. No matter the quality of the film, whenever I see Hugh Jackman don his sideburns and claws, I'm ready to watch an X-MEN movie. Most of those movies are great. Even LAST STAND had its moments. FIRST CLASS is probably my favorite of them all, what with its historical connections and the incredible cast of talented actors.

Pretty soon these two generations of X-MEN films are going to combine in DAYS OF FUTURE PAST. Lots of X-men fans looking forward to that. However, it does bring up an interesting question - namely which X-MEN series brings the hottest hotties? That's a tough call. Plenty of fine, female flesh running around in both these iterations of the X-men story. Do your best to pick one below.


The first X-MEN trilogy had so many beautiful faces, I couldn't even include them all in these pics. One of the good things about comics is that there are very few ugly women in any of them. If there's a woman doing anything in a comic, they're usually hot. Is that because their target demographic are mostly young boys and sex-starved men who can all appreciate the eye candy? Probably. Whatever the reason, that particular comic book characteristic translated well to the big screen.

Pretty much the same story with FIRST CLASS. All the mutant females stay beautiful, regardless of their mutations. Even Mystique has a certain appeal with her scales and penchant for nudity. It's the guys who turn into huge monsters and bugs and shit. More of that careful appeal to a specific demographic. You've got to hand it to those folks who do the comics and make the movies. They always know what their readers want to see, one of which is beautiful women.


The prevalence of tight, leather suits wrapped around hot bodies is what gives the OT films the win here for me. They did a great job of dressing the ladies for these films. More than that though, the first X-men movies had some damn fine hotties and they all seemed to be rocking their hottest bodies, at least in my eyes. For instance, those movies had Anna Paquin at her pre-True Blood best, when she was still kind of curvy and kind of brunette. They also had a virtually nude Rebecca Romjin. That alone is sufficient for my vote.

I wouldn't say that hot bodies were in short supply in FIRST CLASS. If anything, their costumes weren't quite as hot. FC did have plenty of January Jones in sexy shit, which was good. There was also a good amount of Zoe Kravitz looking extra fine as well. I think we all know Jennifer Lawrence did a super fine job as the nakedish Mystique. This a close one here, but my eye is still drawn just a little bit more to the bodies in the OT. No offense to Jennifer or January or Zoe or Rose. I'm always happy to see them work their hot bodies, any time.


Yes they're all beautiful and built, so hotness is a bit of a given. Personally, I'm intrigued with the possibilities of how sex might go with a mutant. For instance, when Storm gets going in the sack, are there tornadoes and lighting and shit coming down? Could Jean Grey work your junk from across the room? And why doesn't Mystique have guys battling to the death for her hand? Apart from the intrigue of getting it on with a giant, blue lizard woman who's also a nudist, how great would it be to have a new girl every night without ever having to leave the house? That's like paradise.

← That about sums it up

Casting and Performance

Plenty of beautiful women in these movies who are also great actresses overall. Still, they did occasionally deliver a few sour notes, mostly in LAST STAND. I can't fault them for that. Such a blatant popcorn movie wouldn't have motivated me to give my best either. I prefer to concentrate on the 1st and 2nd films. Obviously the best of this trilogy was X2 - not only one of the finest comic book movies ever made, but also where some of this franchise's most powerful and memorable scenes come from. Too bad Singer decided to bore everyone with his take on Superman rather than end the first X-men trilogy on a high note.

The OT X-men movies might have been good, but FIRST CLASS was truly great. I'm not just talking about the story or the special effects. This is probably the closest they've yet come to making a superhero/comic book movie that could rise above its esoteric origins and stand on its own as a truly great film. A lot of the credit for that goes to a stunning cast, populated with some of the best in the business right now. It also shows what a prequel can accomplish, given the right talent behind it. Hopefully Singer's return helps retain some of that magic for DAYS OF FUTURE PAST next year.


Two great versions of an epic franchise, both stuffed to the brim with gorgeous women. Too tough a call to make. Also, this pic above makes me all tingly down there. Now that the X-men are supposedly time traveling, it should be possible to actually make such a thing happen. Just imagine the possibilities...

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?


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