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Face Off: Scarlett Johansson vs. Jennifer Lawrence

10.07.2013by: Droz

Ya'll seemed to like the geeks more than the sluts, based on the results of last week's Face Off. Me, I'd say a nice blend of each would be ideal. The best of both worlds. That's usually the best way to go, if you can find it.

There are a number of reasons to compare Scarlett Johansson with Jennifer Lawrence. They're two hotties with a great many things in common. These are currently two of the hottest women in the Marvel movie franchises, playing Black Widow in The Avengers movies and Mystique in the X-men movies. They're two of the most celebrated actresses in all of Hollywood, making big waves and big bank. They both made their big time debut in red hot dresses at the Oscars. They're both blondes (usually), both curvaceous, both desired by millions the world over and they've got a ton of high profile movies coming out in the next year or so. The only problem now is trying to decide between them. So how the hell does one choose between two such powerhouse hotties? We shall see.

Beauty

One could make a big, long list of all the things to love about Scarlett. High up on that list would be her beautiful face. She's not your traditional beauty in many respects, but that's not a bad thing. With those full lips and big, doe eyes, she's got the goods to become instantly lovable. And when she cries and those big eyes well up and become pained, that's like an arrow right to the heart of a guy. I'd love to be the guy who gets to console Scarlett in her time of need.

I feel guilty every time the subject of Jennifer's looks come up. It's not like I'm on the fence about her. 95% of the time I find her a stone cold knock out. It's that niggling 5% that messes with my head. A lot of times it's not even her fault. Sometimes they do unflattering shit with her make up or just present her in a way that's less than flattering. Then again, they do that with all the hotties from time to time. The thing with Jen is that she's not afraid to get a little dirty or go minimal with the make-up when the situation calls for it. Unfortunately that tends to hurt her in the Beauty category, but it is the sign of a great actress who doesn't always care about the superficial. You have to admire that.

Body

Things have changed over the years as far as Scarlett's body goes. It's speculation, but to me it seems like her gifts up top went away to a significant degree. It's possible she had some old implants removed. There's also the more distressing possibility that she had a breast reduction. I don't know for sure. All I know is that there appears to be less of her there now than there used to be. That being said, she's still got one of the finest asses in the world and a lovely, curvaceous body. Those titties were indeed epic, but there's still plenty left to enjoy on Scarlett.

Nothing out of place or missing on Jennifer's body - quite the contrary. She's just how I would have any woman be. What's even more impressive is that she keeps herself looking this hot without resorting to the bullshit other celebs use to stay fit. Jen recently spoke on the matter, advising anyone who tells her to get on a diet to "go f*ck yourself" as she so eloquently put it. As Jennifer sums it up, "Id rather look chubby on screen and like a person in real life." Amen.

Hotness

Wait, what are you saying, Droz? That Scarlett isn't hot? Heh, silly person. We all know Scarlett has produced lava-like levels of hotness for almost a decade now. But if we're talking about the whole package, both inside and out, I've got to put Scarlett in a second place position to Jennifer. See my reasoning for that to the right.

Hotness can be assessed in different ways. There's your external hotness that consists of one's body, what it looks like and how one chooses to show it off. Then you have what comes from inside and how that makes a person all the more attractive. That's probably the most potent of all hotness qualities and it's the thing that makes Jennifer the hottest to me. She's just so down to earth. There's no nonsense about her, no pretense, no bullshit. She's genuine, generous and totally unmoved by the trappings of celebrity. I find that intoxicating, perhaps even more so than her looks, because you don't see it very often in celebrity circles.

Career

Scarlett has had a fantastic career already and promises to continue in that fashion for years to come. However, there are Hollywood skills and then there are the skilled in Hollywood. Scarlett makes a ton of money and appears in lots of big movies. I'm not sure if she could stand toe to toe with Jennifer in any kind of thespian throw down though. She's a decent actress and occasionally a really good one, but Jennifer is poised to be one of the great ones.

At some point they'll begin looking for a new Meryl Streep for the 21st century (as soon as Meryl herself is done being that). It wouldn't surprise me at all if Jennifer is the one to whom they turn to fill that position. With an Oscar at 22 and more a virtual certainty to come in the near future, they'll surely be devoting chapters to her in future movie history books. I'd call that a lock for a Career category win.

Jennifer

Not an easy call to make here, but I'm going with Jenny due mostly to her superior acting cred. On looks alone, I'm pretty sure these two are evenly matched.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?
EXPRESS THEM BELOW!!

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