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Face Off: Scarlet Witch vs. Black Widow

05.02.2016by: Droz

Both Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lopez had their advocates in last week's Face Off. A possible 3rd party vote was for "none of the above." I feel you on that. They both have their downsides. If we could somehow combine them together and remove all the unsavory parts, they'd make for the hottest 40-something cougar who ever lived.

One again we got another set of legendary hotties ready to Face Off on screen. This time around it's Elizabeth Olsen's Scarlet Wtch vs. Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow in the much anticipated CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR. I know who my money is on there, but there are many ways one can come at this. Maybe you like one character over another. Or perhaps the characters are meaningless compared to the actresses. However you chose to reckon on these two, now is the time to decide who you got in a Scarlet vs. Scarlett brouhaha. Bring it.

Beauty

People sometimes come down on Elizabeth here. I don't understand this. To me, she's flat out gorgeous, becoming even more so when she transforms into her witchy alter ego. Maybe it's Liz's obvious relationship and similarity to those older Olsens that throws people off. Perhaps there's a bias toward the original comic book look for the character which these movies ignore, causing the more traditional folks to become disgruntled. Or the haters could just be poor, misguided souls. Whatever the gripes, they matter little to me. Liz's look is perhaps my very favorite of the whole MCU right now.

Uh oh, Natasha looks kinda pissed that I didn't choose her here. Sorry about that Ms. Romanoff. I love how Black Widow looks in these movies. However, I'm a little iffy on Scarlett herself lately. She's by no means past it. When she becomes Black Widow again, she's fully stunning. In the real world, however, it's clear she's got other priorities. If you've seen her out of her Avenger wigs lately, then you've probably noticed the obvious differences inherent in her new look. I wont be so arrogant as to chide her for having the right to look any way she wants. Doesn't mean I have to like it though. I appreciated her more before.

Body

Explicit displays from female characters in the MCU are discouraged most of the time. This is why, for instance, Thor is often seen shirtless and rippling, but never has Lady Sif shown up in some Asgardian equivalent of a string bikini. I'm sure this policy exists so as to avoid alienating female viewers. They know there's already plenty of eye candy for the guys when Iron Man detonates something or The Hulk smashes. So they save the bod shots for the dudes. With this in mind, we're forced to go outside the MCU for an assessment of Elizabeth in this area. Her excellent selection of non-MCU nude scenes clearly demonstrate her superiority of sexy body. Nothing further need be said on this.

An argument could be made that Scarlett wouldn't have this gig were she not able to brag on owning one of history's most desired bodies. Yes, things have changed with her here in recent years. She's not quite as stacked as she was before the MCU came calling. Fortunately, she does compensate by creating a Black Widow who fills out her skin tight body suit about as well as anyone ever could. I would call particular attention how Scarlett has graced her character with superior ass having skills. It's an inclusion which pretty much trumps most of Black Widow's other, more aggressive skills.

Hotness

There have been very little if any attempts at giving Scarlet Witch the kind of sexual overtones her competitor enjoys. Well, other than having her run around with a corset thing on for most of AGE OF ULTRON, which showed off a ton of cleavage in a few scenes. Excising Scarlet Witch's hottie side was probably a sacrifice made to give her character more time to be, as Agent Hill described her, "weird." That's all fine and good, but it felt a little weird to me that they didn't give Elizabeth more chances to be the hottie she is. Maybe they'll rectify this in CIVIL WAR.

Black Widow's run in the MCU thus far has repeatedly made a point of demonstrating her skills as a temptress. For her, such hotness is merely another weapon in her considerable arsenal of persuasion. That doesn't make it any less effective though. Just look at her. Even if she was entirely cold-hearted and without a ounce of sexuality, her ass in ever-changing skin tight outfits would still be good enough for the win here. Connect the character with the hottie cred of the actress who plays her to make this seem like the obvious choice.

Abilities

A lot of people hated the means by which Scarlet Witch debut in the MCU. I didn't think much of AGE OF ULTRON at first either, but after recently watching it again, I found it to be much more entertaining than I remembered. Let's face it - none of these are perfect movies, but Scarlet is one of the more interesting characters they've ushered into the growing MCU population. This is probably because she's a hybrid of two comic universes (X-men and Avengers), which Marvel can't acknowledge for legal reasons. It's okay though, as she's still mighty. I dig her powers and I look forward to seeing how she puts them into play come Friday.

Where acting skills go, I think these two go into battle evenly matched. Yet, when we focus on specific characteristics of the characters they play, things quickly go down hill for Black Widow. Clearly she's a capable fighter who can take out pretty much any human being she confronts. Regular humans are quickly becoming a less frequent opponent as these MCU movies ratchet things up. In a one-on-one confrontation with Scarlet Witch, I'm confident Black Widow would fail miserably and probably wind up either senselessly drooling in a corner, or turned to dust in puff of red smoke. Which is probably why these two wont be having any serious fight scenes in CIVIL WAR.

Scarlet Witch

Two formidable actresses playing Avengers turned enemies. As hotties, I'd hate to decide between them. As Avengers, it's clearly Scarlet Witch who's got the upper hand. So I guess that means I'm on her side.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?

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