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Face Off: Salma Hayek vs. Katy Perry

08.08.2016by: Droz

It came down to a question of career achievements once again with Margot Robbie and Morena Baccarin in last week's Face Off. I agree with the Margot fans - she does have a bright future ahead of her. So does Morena. I'm looking forward to the Harley Quinn movie or SUICIDE SQUAD 2 just as much as DEADPOOL 2. But I'm more of a here and now kinda guy. In the here and now, who has the better movie in 2016 between these two? Definitely Morena, by a wide margin. Who has the better back catalog of gigs, with the roles I not only enjoy, but consider to be an invaluable part of my life? Again, that's Morena, by a lot. So there's where I'm coming from.

This week we got Salma Hayek and her animated food holocaust movie SAUSAGE PARTY coming out. Looks funny, could be terrible. Kinda hard to tell at this point in the summer movie season. Of course, we all saw those bikini pics of Katy Perry the other day. Or if not, you probably heard her new Olympics song, Rise. These two have a lot in common, the most important things being a fondness for showing off all sexy. Which curvy show off puts on a better show by your standards?

Beauty

You can make a big list of all the good things happening on Salma, or just keep it simple and call most things on her superior. The impressiveness of her accomplishments here are only surpassed by their longevity. Salma hits 50 this year, yet remains just as beautiful as she was 20 years ago. It's not unreasonable to assume she's going to be a lovely woman until she kicks. That's just the kind of beauty nature has graced Salma with.

There are times when I find Katy's fondness for weirdness a little off-putting. Those are the times when such exploits make her more bizarre than beautiful. I wouldn't be so sensitive to such things if I didn't find her as lovely as I do - especially when she's not indulging in her weirder side. Taken in more straightforward, non-batshit doses, Katy is not only beautiful - she's a total knockout. Her's is one of my favorite faces.

Body

50-year-old moms and wives frequently find themselves at a point in life where they must accept they're no longer yearned for by a diverse cross section of the population. This means they must either turn to men their own age, or become a fetish. Salma is one of the few hotties in this area who have no such limits. I would venture Salma could, were she so inclined, get just about any guy she wants. And not just as a sugar momma. They'd be begging for a slice of Salma butt steak.

Neither one of these two has quite the same bikini body they once had. Who knows what Katy's reasons are for this relaxed attitude here. If I had to guess why Katy is less toned than she used to be, I'd wager she's probably realized how little difference a bit of a belly makes in regard to her sex appeal. This is the sort of understanding many a hottie are coming to nowadays. They simply don't need to be gym rats to elicit our affections.

Hotness

How many great moments has Salma given us as a hottie? How many have Katy? There are simply too many to count. Their mutual adeptness in this area has contributed handsomely to their current statuses as mega-hotties of the highest regard. It doesn't feel right to call either one of their hotness bodies of work any better than the other. So I go 50/50 on this one as well.

←That.

Career

I'm not going to argue in favor of the movies Salma has been in lately. Nor will I rip on some of her better roles from days passed. Let's face it though - most of her new stuff is kinda shit. There's some good back catalog stuff in her resume, but the quality dwindles pretty bad as the years stack up. She would claim this is Hollywood's insipid denial of older women at work. I'm not sure if that's true or not. Yes, there is a bias against older women in Hollywood. However, it can be bypassed depending on how talented an actresses is. Folks like Meryl Streep still get the Oscar bait gigs every year. Salma doesn't. I'm not saying this is right. It is telling though.

Salma and Katy's career paths are like mirror images of each other. Katy, as we all know, is one of the biggest names in the recording business for almost a decade now. Her albums sell like hotcakes and her tours make hundreds of millions. She's rich beyond estimation and will go down as one of the most culturally significant singers of all time. She's also acted a little. Salma is the exact opposite - much success in acting, a little bit of singing. As for who has been more successful over all in their chosen career, I gotta go with Katy. No matter how opposed you are to her style, message, or political leaning, her impact on culture today remains undeniable.

Katy

No doubt personal bias will kick in for many of you on this one. However, I'm not sure one can make a definitive, unbiased choice between these two based solely on their visual and sensual aspects. They both do what they do there quite well. Only when career accomplishments were considered did I find my choice. I'll leave it to you to find yours.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?

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