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Face Off: Paula Patton vs. Emmanuelle Chriqui

06.06.2016by: Droz

Megan Fox got most of the love over Amber Heard in last week's Face Off. Amber being shortchanged with the internet seems to be the trend now after this whole fiasco between her and Johnny Depp. The perception is that she's a gold-digging liar and Johnny is the innocent victim. Why am I not surprised?

Speaking of getting shortchanged, this week sees supreme hottie Paula Patton help bring video game addiction to the big screen with WARCRAFT. I can't imagine a worse use of such a sexy woman than by dressing Paula up as a damn orc, complete with green, scarified skin and protruding incisors. Yeah, there's a good idea. Turn your super hot actress into a monster with a bad dental plan. That's almost as bad as how absent Emmanuelle Chriqui is from any kind of role, anywhere. Emmanuelle's unbelievably sexy voice alone should put her all over the map. Ugh, such lack of consideration for two amazing hotties. Let's see if we can show these two the love and respect they deserve.


Paula is gorgeous. I think this is understood by most people. I'm especially fond of her smile and that sexy, come hither face she makes when the role calls for it. Just like Emmanuelle, Paula also has a youthful glow about her which defies the normal ravages of time. That is, when she's not made up like stupid video game characters. I can't point to either one of these two as distinctly better than the other here, so I gotta go by personal preference, which swings just a tad more on Emmanuelle's side.

Such an angel face Emmanuelle has. She really does have it all here. There's her own brand of persistently youthful features, or the exotic qualities she inherits from her Middle Eastern/Jewish heritage. Those are great, but my favorite thing about Emmanuelle's look is how sweet she comes across. Even when she plays not-so-nice characters, there's still a sweetness which comes through. Emmanuelle could never be a bad guy. She's just too adorable.


Tough one to call definitively. We've had some good times with Paula's desirable body. Well, I should say we've seen others have good times with Paula's body. Looking at her showing any amount of skin at all always makes me wonder just what the hell her ex was thinking when he started trifling about with other women. I'm sure this is why he tried so hard to get back on good terms with Paula. I too would shudder at the thought of having this body all to myself and then losing it forever. Again, I'm just a wee bit more in Emmanuelle's area on this one. Still, a real, real close call for me.

The majority of Emmanuelle's body has remained pretty much unchanged for years now, with delights to be lusted after from top to bottom and front to back, including one of the finest asses I've seen. As consistent as she's been here, Emmanuelle's boobs have undergone quite a change. Back in the day she sported a healthy B-cup, but over the last few years she's developed into what looks like a healthy D-cup or better. I can only assume she's gradually enhanced herself here. You probably wouldn't have noticed this, were you not versed in the complete history of Emmanuelle's rack. Probably one of the finest boobs jobs I've ever seen.


Over there→

Both these two have demonstrated a propensity and a skill at getting hot when the situation calls for it. And sometimes when the situation doesn't necessarily call for it. They do this both as a means of earning a living and also because they're so good at it. Just like with their beauty, these skills at being our viewing pleasure are even more impressive because they endure way past the age when most people's sex appeal has begun to fade away. Sure, this sort of longevity is an increasingly common thing amidst the ranks of the famous, but that makes it no less impressive.


The Daily Beast has a piece on their site talking how Hollywood has failed Paula. They have a point there. I don't know exactly why this is. One could argue it might be because she's a woman. Or because she's a black woman. Or because she's an older black woman. Or, maybe it's none of those things. The fact remains that Sandler movies and shitty video game adaptations are far beneath her and her potential as an actress.

When there is criticism of Emmanuelle for anything, it's usually for her perceived lack of skills as an actress. I wont debate this point or try to make her out to be more than she is. Yes, Emmanuelle is not the greatest actress who ever lived. Many aren't. There are tons of marginally talented people enjoying robust careers in various TV shows, movie franchises, or whatever. So why doesn't Emmanuelle have this? I know not. I wish she did though, if only just for more chances to look at her sweet face.


My love affair with Emmanuelle is longstanding, despite having had to endure many shitty and/or short-lived productions just so I could keep that love alive. Not the most ideal way to stay a fan of someone, but the upside with any terrible Emmanuelle production is that you get to look at her. I'll take it.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?


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