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Face Off: Olivia Munn vs. Minka Kelly

12.05.2016by: Droz

I figured there would be some dilemmas as to whether Natalie Portman or Scarlett Johansson stands as the better hottie, at least where last week's Face Off is concerned. Difficult choice, I'm not sure if there was a clear winner between them. I stand by Natalie though. She's given me the vapors on more than one occasion.

This week sees Olivia Munn and a few other hotties star in OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY. I'm not sure what to make of that one. It's got some funny people in it, but that's no guarantee of hilarity. It could just as easily be shit, which would be in line with an inordinate amount of what Olivia has put out recently. Same thing goes for her competition this week, the lovely yet frequently marginalized Minka Kelly. I don't think it requires a tremendous leap of logic to understand why these two seem to show up in a lot of crap. They're not exactly what I would call thespians. Despite what may be lacking in the productions and/or performances they give, these are still two of the most intoxicating 36-year-old hotties around. Which modestly talented mega hottie's shortcomings are you prepared to overlook?

Beauty

Physically speaking, Olivia's beauty may be the only part of her person I fluctuate on. It's a strange thing. Sometimes she's absolutely gorgeous in that uniquely befreckled, Eurasian way. Then other times, I'm not really feeling it with her looks. She's got one of those faces where ambient conditions seem to be a factor. In the right light, she's beyond gorgeous. I go with Minka here because she's gorgeous in any light.

I don't expect everyone to be on the same page as me with Minka. You might agree she's more attractive than Olivia, but for me there's a far more significant aspect to her looks. She's one of those women who appeals to me on a subconscious level. It's some deep seated thing that's been rattling around in my head from childhood which looks to her and sees someone very special. Beautiful isn't good enough a word for her. She's transcendent.

Body

Olivia and Minka own impressive bodies not only for their age, but impressive for any age. Their generation marks the end of days when celebrity hotties allowed themselves to drop off a fitness cliff after a certain age. Now firmness of body endures well past 30, or 40, or even 50. Short of any major pandemics or sudden fixations on cupcakes and potato chips, I think it's safe to assume Liv and Minka will remain tasty here for years to come.

←Take this!

Hotness

Tough one. I don't believe either Olivia or Minka have anything on each other here. Yet I do go with Olivia only because there are far more examples of Olivia showing off her hotness than Minka. For example, finding up-to-date pictures of Minka being sexy for this Face Off was something of a chore. I had to do some digging. On the other hand, pics of Olivia in bikinis, or less, practically fall from the sky. Girl is definitely dedicated to a wider proliferation of her hotness.

←And that!

Career

I've heard some disparaging comments against Olivia's validity as an actress and a celebrity. Some don't feel like she deserves to have the kind of high profile she has. Others have voiced far more slanderous theories as to how she managed such an impressive rise up the celebrity ladder. Obviously a large part of why Olivia has achieved her success comes from her looks. However, all the hate is a little much. She's not as terrible here as some might make her out to be. While not an incredible talent, she can manage a fairly good performance when given the chance to do so. I wish there were more of those chances for Olivia.

Looks have been behind much of Minka's rise to prominence over the years as well. You need a pretty face to round out your cast of beautiful people? You couldn't do much better than Minka in a cheerleader outfit in Friday Night Lights, or many of the other shows and movies she's done over the years. Doesn't mean she was very good in that role, nor most of the roles she's taken since then. What can I say? Pretty faces are always in demand and Minka has one of the prettiest around. Beyond that, I don't think there's much more to say, at least where career is concerned.

Olivia

It pains me to give any kind of slight to Minka, but I have to abide by the situation at hand. Olivia is pretty popular and occasionally not terrible as an actress. The rest of the story with these two is a toss up as far as I'm concerned.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?

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