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Face Off: Mila Kunis vs. Rachel Bilson

08.11.2014by: Droz

Sophie Turner had an ever so slight edge over Molly Quinn in last week's Face Off. She's beautiful, no doubt about that and I'm proud of those who were able to make a choice there. Me, I'm hopelessly indecisive when it comes to beautiful redheaded hotties like them. I always will be.

This week's Face Off duo, Mila Kunis and Rachel Bilson, have a number of things in common. They both have birthdays in the next couple weeks. They're both sexy little brunettes many of us have enjoyed for years. Perhaps their most acute similarity as of late is choosing and becoming presently impregnated by spouses deemed unacceptable by many of their fans. It's shitty when your favorite hotties go in weird directions romantically, but let's not forget all the good things they bring despite any poor judgement in life mate selection. So which of these fine ass, soon-to-be MILF honeys with annoying hubbies do you get more out of? Attempt to think good thoughts below.

Beauty

I was enchanted with Mila's face pretty much from the start. Those Eastern European hotties have always had that power over me. Mila's origins are in the currently war torn Ukraine, from whence she departed as a child. She's still got that eastern look about her though. I can't explain exactly what it is. Something in that dark hair. Some quality about the eyes. She's exotic, but also kind of familiar. Whatever it is, I like it a lot.

Rachel is as cute and sweet as anyone I've ever seen. I'm especially fond of her eyes. Being an eye guy, those are always an important thing to approve of. If it were anyone else over on the left I'd at least be voting for both, if not giving Rachel my sole vote. I've just been too caught up in Mila for too long. The heart wants what it wants.

Body

I was just as excited as anyone to believe those really were Mila's bare tits in FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL. Then later my heart was just as broken when I found they were not. Mila's body isn't at the top of the list on the things I find hottest about her, but she's got a perfectly reasonable little frame I'm more than happy to look at. She's also on the short side, which I like. She nonetheless comes in second here for me.

"Elegant" is the word that comes to mind when describing Rachel's body. All her proportions are just about perfect and she's literally covered in beautiful shapes. My favorite are her perfectly sloping hips curving back into a plump little butt. I can find nothing at all to complain about on her body, except maybe for the fact that I'll never have access to it.

Hotness

Mila is not without her visual appeal, but what I find hottest about her is that cool attitude she and many of the characters she plays possess. She seems like a fun person to be around. I can't think of a bigger turn off then some diva who acts like an asshole all the time. Mila isn't that way at all. She's a down to earth kind of person. Sexy spreads are great and everything, but being a fun, open kind of person is even better.

Rachel seems like a decent enough person as well, but for me her hottie MVP moments come from all the sexy photo spreads she's done. Girl knows how to show off that spectacular bod of hers for the camera. Lately she's been bypassing the hotness somewhat with spreads in magazines your mom reads, but you have to appreciate the greatness of her back catalog.

Career

Mila has earned a spot in the upper echelons of Hollywood A-listers, despite being somewhat underwhelming as an actress. Lately she's taken a hit with fans for her relationship with Kutcher. Interesting how mass hatred for him is infecting people's thoughts of Mila. Will that referendum keep people from seeing her movies because they disapprove of her relationship? I suppose that's possible, although I hope not. Mila is usually likable on screen, if not Oscar worthy. And it's not like she's the only hottie with a pain in the ass SO.

Rachel doesn't enjoy the same A-list status as Mila. I don't think that has anything to do with her relationship with Emo Darth Vader, even though geek ire against him will probably endure for as long as the prequels exist. Neither of these two is any better than the other where acting skills are concerned. I guess Rachel hasn't done enough big budget movies or summer comedies, which puts her on a lower tier as far as career success goes.

Mila

My philosophy on famous hotties is to ignore their relationship details. Doing otherwise doesn't help anything. Better to focus on the important parts, like sexy bodies, pretty faces and whatever else they do that excites you. These two are great and I get a lot out of them. I'm a little more about Mila, mostly for historical reasons, but they both look mighty fine to me.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?
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