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Face Off: Melissa Rauch vs. Kaley Cuoco

03.14.2016by: Droz

Jessica Biel had her impassioned advocates in last week's Face Off, but I got the feeling it was nonetheless Mary Elizabeth Winstead who enjoyed the greater share of love from the voters. Circumstances have changed a lot for both those two in recent years. Makes me wonder how comparing them might have gone a few years ago. Probably a much harder call to make back then.

This week sees Melissa Rauch break loose from her The Big Bang Theory safety net and into a movie of her own, the Olympics comedy THE BRONZE. Good for her, but it's likely folks will continue to associate her with all the nerdy antics taking place on her CBS hit. Same goes for her co-star, Kaley Cuoco. Together they provide the hottie portion of that show's equation. But which hottie adds up better to you?

Beauty

One reason I was spurred to move Kaley out of my favorite faces list over the years was an increased appreciation of Melissa's cute mug. It would be easy to miss just how cute she is, what with that damn squeaky voice she has on the show. However, thanks to various other gigs where a weird voice wasn't threatening to get in the way of her beauty, not to mention the handy availability of a mute button, I've come to adore Melissa's face more and more as the years go by.

I'm gonna be a dick for a minute by admitting I liked Kaley's look a lot more when she was younger. I hate the way that sounds, but it's true. Around the time TBBT first hit the airwaves, I was one of many fully smitten with her adorable little face. But then as time went on I found myself incrementally losing interest. No one is more disappointed with such a superficial perception than myself, but it remains true regardless.

Body

One could argue Melissa and Kaley approach sexy bodies from opposite ends. Melissa represents the more modestly curvy hotties out there. I don't want to make too much out of her curves though, for to me she only just qualifies for this curvaceous designation. I'd actually call her fairly normal where women's physiques go. Round and filled out like Melissa is how I would have all women be, had I any say there.

Kaley has frequently maintained one of the tighter bods around. Sure, she's fluctuated a few times here and there, but an overall assessment of her body shape over the years paints her as a consistently trim hottie. Speaking of asses, that's one area where Kaley doesn't get as much credit as she deserves. Everyone has made a big deal out of her boobs, especially after she got the implants, but my favorite part of her remains round the other side. She's got a great butt.

Hotness

Melissa is plenty hot and her occasional dabbles into hotness have always been plenty good. But you gotta add up the entirety of the efforts both these two have made in this area over the years. Looking at all of Kaley's pictorials and the general impression she's made of herself as a hottie over the years, it becomes obvious she's the smart money on this one.

←That.

Career

As I said above, both these two are synonymous with TBBT. Melissa has certainly made her name as Bernadette on the show and will probably continue to do so for as long as it stays on the air, which at this point looks like it could be until the sun burns out. While Melissa has done stuff besides TBBT and continues to make her name in a wider array of work, her competitor does so as well and has been around longer. It seems only fitting to acknowledge Kaley's time served.

I recall Kaley from way back in the 90s when she was the precocious little kid getting kidnapped by a psychopathic computer program come to life in VIRTUOSITY (truly an underrated slice of early cyberspace schlock). From there she proceeded into unsettlingly hot teen queen territory in various movies and shows, which then opened the door to her prolonged TBBT stretch. Besides having a longer stint in the acting game, one gets an impression of Kaley as the higher profile personality between these two, making her an obvious choice here.

Kaley

This is a weird choice for me. Despite giving Kaley more votes, I'm much more about Melissa nowadays. I guess this means I disagree with myself. Wouldn't be the first time that happened.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?

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