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Face Off: Mary Elizabeth Winstead vs. Jessica Alba

08.22.2016by: Droz

There was a distinct Emma Stone emphasis to last week's Face Off, helping her triumph over Victoria Justice. Once again it comes down to career accomplishments. If Victoria had a CV like Emma, she'd probably enjoy just as much widespread love. As it is, she still comes pretty close to Emma, at least in my estimation. Which says something for her drawing power.

How fortunate for our Face Off needs that both Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Jessica Alba have movies coming out this week. Too bad both of these movies look fairly shitty. You'd think two such first class hotties would get better movies to star in. But as is often the case, there are other considerations which have to be taken into account with this sort of thing. Regardless of the quality of their films, we know full well how qualified these two women are as sex symbols and all around beautiful people. They currently sit at the top of the heap in this news editor's estimation. Which highly favored hottie is your favorite?


I find it legitimatey painful to see MEW crying like she is in the pic above. Those big doe eyes in pain just kills me. She's one of the few women in her field who I feel that way about. I can sympathize with the emotions of other actresses when they emote on screen, but it's MEW's tears I would do just about anything to stop, no matter the context of their appearance. That's how emotionally tied up I am with her angelic face. Although to MEW's credit, she still looks amazing, even with a face covered in tears.

Anyone else over there would probably be a second place finisher compared to Jessica here. She's got one of the most beautiful faces around - maybe one of the most beautiful faces ever seen in her business or any business. This is why she's a common sight in all kinds of fashion mags, cosmetics ads, and every other place where pretty women are desired. Even after almost two decades in the service of hottie admirers, Jessica is still gorgeous. I predict she's going to stay that way for a very long time.


Mary has had an unbelievable body since first making her debut several years ago. Since then we've seen her consistently impress in this category year after year. For those who lament the arrival of the curvier hotties, Mary is your lasting legacy of those who value a more firm and shapely body. If she loses out here, it's only because of Jessica's similar oath to tightness, as well as Jessica's more consistent and remarkable streak of sexy photo spreads.

There are many hotties who show off their bodies at regular intervals. We enjoy these displays when they come. However, there are a few special cases amidst that lot whose body show off moments become certified events. Jessica is one of those. Even her tamer spreads are usually good at inspiring our lustful desires. Yet when she slips into those bikinis, be they for magazines or just vacation pics, the result is almost always pure sex saturated magic.


We all have our magic formula for hotness. This is the specific set of features which come together to create the perfect hottie. In every way that matters, MEW has this combination down for me. Women with beautiful faces, big brown eyes, dark hair and sexy bodies fill many of my prerequisites there. Top all that off with with a sweet personality like a cherry on top and the person in question comes pretty damn close to where I'm at with my ideal hottie. Actually, I think MEW might simply be the standard by which I compare all others.

Being a hottie might be the single greatest thing Jessica has done with her time on the scene. That might sound a little mean, considering all the various irons she has in the fire as of late. However, I think it's a valid observation. All her various successes and failures have come about to some degree thanks to how much sex appeal she has for the majority of civilization as a whole. Some might see this as a superficial way to build one's career, yet Jessica has nonetheless built a full-fledged empire on the drawing power of her fine ass. Hard to argue against that.


As I stated in the opener above, the track record for both these ladies is a little mixed here. With Mary, there's plenty of good stuff happening, much of it coming to us in relatively obscure indie movies. Does a quality acting career rely on wide distribution? Not necessarily. However, someone like Mary deserves a much wider audience than she currently has. It's an awkward time for movies and entertainment in general. I'd still love to see more of her around.

Criticisms of Jessica's abilities as an actor come along just about any time she has a new role in something. What can you say about that? She's never gonna be in any Shakespearean productions. Even in the realm of so-so actors, Jessica still finds herself struggling, so it's safe to say she's gonna lag behind MEW here. Sure, Jess has talents elsewhere which surpass most others, but in the area these two ladies have in common, she is definitely bringing up the rear.


MEW is gonna be my choice in most things, simply because I'm unabashedly biased in her favor. Mistakenly place her name in a poll of the best Egyptian pharaohs and I'd still give her my vote. If there was anyone who could possibly distract me from my MEW myopia, it would be Jessica. Yet in the end, not even she could manage it. There's just something about Mary. Always.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?


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