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Face Off: Kat Dennings vs. Melissa Rauch

06.08.2015by: Droz

Rose Byrne was unable to resist the clear majority voting block that Rachel McAdams enjoys, at least where Movie Hotties fans are concerned. I wont argue with that. My main gripe with Rachel is in the career area, but my hope is that this new season of True Detective will resolve that issue.

This week sees Kat Dennings arrive at her 29th birthday. That's a significant year - the last stop for your 20s before you start trudging into that long, difficult stretch of midlife insanity. Not always a fun experience, but it should prove somewhat less brutal for Kat. Girl has a lot going for her. She's got that curvy hotness many of us lust for in a big way. She's also famous, rich, currently doing her thing on the mediocre 2 Broke Girls and banging that singer guy your mom likes.

Kat's competitor this week, Melissa Rauch, celebrates her 35th birthday a few days after Kat. She's also got the cash, the fame, the cute relationship and her very own annoying CBS sitcom, The Big Bang Theory. And like Kat, Melissa is blessed with some famous curves of her own. Sounds like a good match. Now decide which curvy hottie with the bad CBS show is your favorite.


I've gone back and forth with Kat's looks. When she first became popular I found her a refreshing change of pace. Her looks are arguably unique in celebrity circles, perhaps even an acquired taste. I enjoyed her flavor from the start, right up to the point when she developed her chronic bitch face problem. That didn't do much to help her here, which is a shame because she can be quite pretty when she wants to be. Lately she seems to have emerged from that dour situation. I hope it stays that way.

Melissa is just a cutie pie, plain and simple. In that way she speaks well for the blue eyed blondes, who more often than not leave me bored. I could look at her sweet face all day and never get bored. Usually there's a point when faces must give way to the other things happening on these two, but I consider Melissa just as appealing above the neck as below it.


So here's the area where Kat has gone the farthest to impress many of us around here. Girl's cleavage shows are the stuff of legend where boob fans are concerned. Her T&A in general, tucked into those tight, red carpet dresses, have been a testament to the good things inherent in curvy bodies for years now. Kat has recently slimmed down a bit, but she's still has the roundness where it counts. I never get tired of looking at her here.

It was always obvious that Melissa had herself some nice titties. Those less than subtle unbuttoned sweaters on TBBT never did much to hide her heaving mounds. I didn't become fully aware of how good the whole Melissa package is until her Maxim spread came out. Melissa rocking all those corsets and the pseudo bondage gear was an eye-opener to say the least. I'v never looked at Melissa the same way since.


There's that bitch face again. Despite her seeming lack of enthusiasm for hotness displays, Kat has nonetheless amassed a rather extensive library of pics and video depicting her as a voluptuous show off at countless premieres and events. Even if she isn't into being a sex symbol, Kat still seems to understand the value of pretending to be so. Sure, it would be nice if she was more into that, but I'll take tight, slutty dresses and overflowing tits in a pinch.

With these two I'm thinking about degrees and histories of hotness. Look at any of these Maxim pics and you immediately understand what Melissa can do here. I also love the fact that she's practically lilliputian at only 4'11. That's so cute and cute is the thing with her. Part of Melissa's cute is doing that squeaky voice bit on TBBT with the mommy sweaters and sweet smiles and the bad jokes. Cute is great. I love cute. But we're talking about hot now. She ain't got enough of that. We need more pure Melissa hotness. I'll be the first one in line to see that.


I can see why actresses get the major boob reductions. I don't approve of that, but I understand why they do it. I went back pretty far into Kat's career to evaluate how I feel about her body of work. Even going back to her jail bait days, girl was still rocking the huge tits. That's distracting, no doubt about it. With the exception of the THOR movies and a few other things where they cover her up, Kat has always been the one with the big tits. It might not be all that profound, but they have made her memorable in more than one role.

I only really know Melissa from two things - TBBT and True Blood. And I'm less than enthused about both those things. Clearly TBBT is a cash cow for everyone involved with it, but it would be nice to see Melissa do something I can stand to watch. With her successful stand up history, she'd be great in those irreverent comedy movies alongside the current crop of funny men and women. Somebody make that happen for the whole TBBT crew and maybe we can put that shit show to bed for good.


If you were to ask me which of these two I'm sweeter on, my answer would be Melissa. If you ask me which one I'd rather have some nasty, butt naked sex with, it's Kat. Too bad I can't put them together into one woman for a best of both worlds situation. Right now I guess I'm more interested in getting nasty, which makes Kat my go to hottie here.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?


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