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Face Off: Gemma Arterton vs. Emma Watson

06.17.2013by: Droz

Diane Lane pretty much obliterated her competitor Amy Adams by an 18 to 8 vote in last week's Face Off. I'm kind of glad you guys made that happen. As much as I love Amy, it did feel wrong to be going against Diane, one of the great passions of my life. So thanks for that.

We've got a couple of movies opening in the next two weeks starring two particularly beloved British beauties. This week it's the high school theft ring drama THE BLING RING starring Emma Watson and next week has vampire stripper movie BYZANTIUM starring Gemma Arterton. These are two formidable hotties with tons of fans. Yet which British hottie headliner are you more taken with? Let's decide.


That boy cut Emma got after her HARRY POTTER run ended did a lot to ruin my respect for her looks. Girl had a boyish quality to her already, but that hair only made it worse. She's since grown it out, which has helped feminize her more and sometimes makes her look rather beautiful. Then there are other times, usually when she's sans make-up, when her boyish quality comes back. It's the juxtaposition of those two aspects of her looks that leaves me torn. I like the first one a lot. Not being a creepy guy with a van or a Catholic priest makes the 12-year-old boy version of her do very little for me.

There are plenty of things to love about Gemma's beauty. Those eyes, those lips, her beautiful skin, her cute little freckles, the fact that her face changes with the lighting - it's all wonderful stuff. But here's my favorite thing about Gemma's beauty - she doesn't need a lick of make up to be beautiful. In fact, I think my favorite way to look at Gemma is when she goes minimal with her make-up. The more natural she looks, the more enamored I become with her. You have to honor that kind of beauty, because we don't see it all that often.


Nothing wrong with Emma's body as far as fitness goes. She doesn't have a weight problem, nor is she anorexic. In fact, Emma's had some damn fine body moments, one of which we honored last week in the way of those candids from a couple years back of her in that pink sports bra thing. Very hot. So even if her face is a little boyish, the rest of her is just fine. The fact that she's second here is merely my preference for Gemma's more curvier frame. Your results may differ.

Gemma's body goes through shifts. She might be quite trim the way you see her above. Or she can get a little thicker and sport some lovely curves as she's currently doing. I happen to like all her various iterations. That 5'7 frame of hers adapts very well to whatever condition she she chooses to be in. She's like a sexy shape-shifter. I can't wait to see what form she takes on next.


We're a couple years removed from her wizardry exploits, but her time as a kid's movie phenomenon is still affecting her hotness for me. The fact that there's cinematic documentation of her not-so-distant romps as a little kid makes me uneasy when attempting to appreciate the admittedly established woman of today. She needs to do more to make me forget about the past. She's off to a good start with THE BLING RING. Do more stuff like that, Emma. Then I can talk seriously about your hotness.

No question on this one. Gemma's hotness secretes from her pores, radiates from her eyes and wafts into the air as the most potent pheromone ever. She doesn't even have to try or do anything special to make that happen. She can bear any number of expressions, assume any sort of mood, be in any kind of situation - the result is still the same. I desire her with a desperate, aching yearning that very few hotties can match.


While Emma's time at Hogwarts might not have done her any favors in the hotness department (at least, not for me), it has done wonderful things for her career. She's in a very special class of hotties now who bear a particularly large following of devotees thanks to an iconic role. She joins the ranks of hotties like Carrie Fisher, Scarlett Johansson or any of the others who have played characters especially beloved of geeks and geek-friendly folks. Only time will tell if she can avoid the inevitable threat of typecasting others in her place have endured. Emma's still young and ambitious enough. I think she can do it.

Gemma has made an attempt a time or two to play the kind of roles Emma had the good fortune to get early on. Unfortunately, it hasn't worked as well for her. I love to just look at Gemma, so I can enjoy practically anything she does regardless of its quality. Still, even if her mere presence is sufficient to entertain me, it doesn't cloud my mind to the fact that she's made a few stinkers. She's still getting herself out there though, which is good enough for me.


Look at that face, those eyes. How could anyone not become utterly, hopelessly, irretrievably bedazzled by Gemma? Of course, I speak as one who was long ago caught up in her web of hotness, so I'm clearly biased. That's one inescapable trap I choose to revel in. She can extract the life fluids from my body any time she likes.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?


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