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Face Off: Emma Stone vs. Natalie Portman

02.20.2017by: Droz

Christina Hendricks may have been the one with a movie out last week, but it was Kelly Brook and her hard to find hot ass which inspired the most love, according to the previous Face Off anyway. I hope Kelly is paying attention. I'm sure her new guy is all kinds of fun, but she shouldn't let him monopolize all her time away from so many loyal fans.

We got another Oscar pageant about to happen. Yes, it's that time of year when Hollywood's best and brightest dead people compete for the honor of not being left out of the In Memorium tribute, which after 2016's celebrity slaughter will probably take up most of the show. I hear they also give some trophies to living actors. Two of the lead contenders for this year's Best Actress bald dude are Emma Stone for LA LA LAND and Natalie Portman for JACKIE. It's the historical biopic vs. the throwback musical. Tough one. Even more tough is deciding which of these two top notch hotties deserves this week's Face Off prize. Which one is your Best Hottie winner?


Emma is beautiful for sure. She's got that cuteness thing happening where she charms you with a smile and twinkle in her eye. It's a different concept for Natalie's beauty, which is much more glamorous in a old school Hollywood kind of way. I don't know if it's possible to say which of those two approaches to beauty is better, but looking at them in this moment I'm a little more pulled to Nat's side of things.

← Read it, believe it.


I've fluctuated over the years when it comes to my appreciation for Emma's body. Sometimes she's had a certain fascination there for me and other times not so much. Something happened to her in the last year which brought me to unprecedented new highs here. I don't have to tell many of you what wonders she has developed in the booty area. She's got a beautiful thing shimmying around behind her now. I don't know how long said butt will stick around, but for now I'm very much in love with it.

At any other time in the history of these two women's time on the scene I would have probably gone with Natalie in a walk. After all, she's been a fantasy woman for a large segment of the population for years and years now. The fly in the ointment is Natalie's baby-making endeavors as of late. Seeing her bloated belly shuffling around town puts a dampener on the hot body magic for which so many of us have such fond memories. Hopefully one day soon she'll get that out of her system and return to being the Nats we know and love here.


I wont lie - this pic above almost made me go with Emma. I don't know if they were purposefully attempting to imply with this pic that Emma has a lesbian side as yet unexplored, or if it was just the photographer's whimsy at work. Whatever the story, the mere idea of Emma contemplating getting all up in another hottie's goods fills my mind with a flurry of provocative imagery. I remain on Natalie's side here only because we need not imagine what a lesbian encounter would look like with her. We've seen it played out in explicit detail on screen. That kind of real world content is sufficient to put Natalie over the top here for me.

← Again, over there.


I had my doubts for a minute there whether Emma was destined to soar or sink like a stone in this category. A string of terrible movies didn't bode well for her. But then LA LA LAND came along and charmed most people who aren't me, surging her back up to the top of the A-list. Now Emma is the front runner for her own bald dude come Sunday night. The future looks bright for both these two, but right now Emma may very well be the brightest star in the Hollywood galaxy.

As a history buff, I was much more into Natalie's portrayal of the former first lady in JACKIE. It was a heartbreaking performance which in any other year would have made Nat the obvious choice for Best Actress Oscar glory. Those who figure the odds like Emma's chances at winning the evening. Even so, there's no need to weep bitter tears for Natalie if she loses. She's had her Oscar glory already. Should Emma win, that will just prove me right in declaring these two equally matched here.


I got all kinds of love for both Emma and Natalie. They'll go down as two of the finest hotties from their era in Hollywood history. I suppose I do have a little bit of a bias for Natalie, for a number of reasons, but I can totally understand why someone might feel the exact opposite.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?


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